Update on Olivia

by Janice

I am standing in the shower with Olivia, watching her as she studies the water trickling down the glass.

Olivia - January 2010She enters a series of tics — she always does in the shower, just like she consistently has fits of tics on the change table.

My heart wrenches as I watch her move her weight back and forth from her left foot to her right, her hands clenched, head tilted and face contorted. She makes a humming vocalization while she is in the tic. The vocalization is new and I wince when I hear it.

Each tic lasts about 5-8 seconds, but they usually come in groups and so almost as soon as she finishes one, another one starts.

After a series of tics, her body unclenches and she makes a small gasp for air, as if the tics that just took over her body have exhausted her.

When she starts the tics, I usually pick her up and relax her to try to stop them. But today, I just observe so I can report to the doctor.

We have our appointment at the Pediatric Neurologist at Children’s Hospital on Thursday afternoon. When the doctor’s office finally called with the appointment, I had a rush of relief, followed by the awareness of how odd it was to be relieved that my child had an appointment at a neurologist! How did this happen — that my precious daughter has to see a neurologist!

As the tics worsen, my relief about getting the appointment lessens and my hopelessness grows.
What can they possibly do? What hope can they offer? My daughter is getting worse.

I have had so much comfort from you though since posting about Olivia in December. Your support, love and prayers bring me more peace and hope than any doctor’s appointment could.

THANK YOU so much!!! I appreciate you more than I can ever express.


Written by Janice, co-founder of 5 Minutes for Mom.

Don’t miss posts, with our our feed and please tweet with us — @5minutesformom. :)



Email Author    |    Website About Janice

Janice is co-founder of 5 Minutes For Mom. She's been working online since 2003 and is thankful her days are full of social media, writing and photography. You can see more of her photos at janicecrozephotography.com.

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{ 54 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Christine January 26, 2010 at 6:04 pm

Oh Janice, I was in tears as I read… I can feel your love for Olivia in this post, sense your pain, and feel your relief.

Praying with all my heart that the appointment goes well on Thursday!

HUGS!!!

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2 Katie January 26, 2010 at 6:06 pm

Oh Janice, I’m sitting here in tears because as a mother, I know just how hard it is to go through this. I’m so glad though that you have an appointment with a neurologist. I know it’s hard and scary because I went through it with my oldest. We had to wait 6 months to be seen by one. But, remember that knowing what’s causing it means you can help her. Think of the appointment as something to empower you as her mom. If you ever need a shoulder, mine is always available.

Tons of hugs and love for you and your family.

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3 Jen January 26, 2010 at 6:28 pm

She will be in our prayers Janice. I hope you all can get some answers. I know it is so hard on you! Big ((HUGS)) and much love!!!

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4 A Cowboy's Wife January 26, 2010 at 6:29 pm

My goodness Janice. I am so sorry that Olivia is going through that. I hope and pray they figure it out and heal her and that God makes it as painless as possible until then. ((hugs))

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5 Kelly January 26, 2010 at 6:34 pm

My heart is wrenched for yours, Janice. I can imagine nothing more painful than watching our children suffer.

I will continue to pray that God will uphold you as you wait for Thursday’s appointment, and that He will blanket you with peace.

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6 shelly January 26, 2010 at 6:36 pm

My heart goes out to you! I will pray for your appointment for little Olivia that they will find something that will help.

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7 laura January 26, 2010 at 6:37 pm

My heart breaks for you. You are in my thoughts.

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8 Susie's Homemade January 26, 2010 at 6:40 pm

I think that you are relieved because she has an appointment to get help. You are closer to an answer than you were before.

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9 Janice January 26, 2010 at 6:45 pm

Thank you ladies!!! Your words are like a salve and your prayers bring me so much peace.

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10 rachel-asouthernfairytale January 26, 2010 at 6:51 pm

Jan ~ love you.
Hugs and prayers for you and Livvie

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11 Ashley January 26, 2010 at 7:01 pm

I am so sorry for what you are going through! I hope Thursday brings positive answers and results. I cannot imagine the level of concern and fear youvmust be going through. You and your family are in my thoughts!

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12 Debra January 26, 2010 at 7:02 pm

Hang in there…..it’s so hard when it’s your child.

Ask lots of questions at the neurologist appt….and I hope and pray for some answers.

Hugs!

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13 Tarasview January 26, 2010 at 7:14 pm

oh Janice- my heart is just aching for you. I’ll be praying that the doctors CAN do something and that Olivia will be free from the tics.

big huge hugs from me to you,
Tara

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14 Gina January 26, 2010 at 7:24 pm

It is so hard to watch our children suffer physically or emotionally! I’ll be praying for you and Olivia! That the doctors make an accurate diagnosis and for God’s healing to come!!

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15 Jules January 26, 2010 at 7:25 pm

I feel for you. We went through something similar with our son when he was two. I would love to share with you and let you know what we discovered that made his tics/seizures go away forever. He is now 23. If you are open to hearing our story I would love to share. I always say if I can help someone with what we went through, it makes my day.

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16 Noreen January 26, 2010 at 7:58 pm

sending lots of love and prayers!
I wish I could help in someway.

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17 Sky January 26, 2010 at 8:09 pm

I just want to give you both huge hugs! I’m sending warm thoughts your way.

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18 Muthering Heights January 26, 2010 at 9:22 pm

Poor girl…I’m sorry that she has to go through this!!

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19 Tammie Swaney January 26, 2010 at 9:32 pm

Janice, I see the comments and can’t add much except that I’ve been there with my son who is now 16. He’s a wonderful boy and so loving and kind to all. God makes special children for a reason, because they are so special. Be encouraged and hold tight to the Maker’s hand. He’ll get you through this as he did our family. You’ll see the reason as time progresses. Visit me sometime. I’ll catch you on twitter.

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20 QuatroMama January 26, 2010 at 9:37 pm

Oh mama! It must be such a struggle to watch her go through this…
You are doing the right thing. You’re looking into it, you’re on top of it, and you are going to get the help she needs. Most of all, she has all of your love, which will get ALL of you through this.

Praying for you. Love you!
Jen
Quad Mama

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21 Kelli January 26, 2010 at 10:07 pm

Janice, I am praying for you and for your sweet little girl. May the God of Peace reign in your hearts from now until Thursday and may the doctors be filled with wisdom and grace as they work to diagnose what’s causing these tics. Praying hard for your family!

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22 Trudy January 26, 2010 at 10:16 pm

My heart goes out to you and your family as you wait for the doctor appointment. I will certainly lift you up in prayer.

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23 Kara January 26, 2010 at 10:55 pm

Janice, I’m so sorry, and I will keep you and Sweet Olivia in my prayers. I hope the doctor’s find answers soon!

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24 donetta January 26, 2010 at 11:01 pm

as a mom with two special needs kids I will give you the best advice given yo me….

just breath

loving you

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25 Stacey January 26, 2010 at 11:06 pm

My heart is aching for you and Olivia right now! I CANNOT imagine the helplessness and hopelessness you are feeling right now! Praying for you that you find answers when meeting with the doctors and that you find some sort of peace during all of this!

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26 Deb January 26, 2010 at 11:14 pm

Thank you for sharing this, my heart goes out to your whole family. I hope that the doctors will help and your precious little girl will find something that works.

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27 Stacie January 26, 2010 at 11:14 pm

We are still praying for you all and hoping for easy answers!

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28 Melissa January 26, 2010 at 11:28 pm

I will pray for strength for you and courage for your precious little girl.

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29 debi b January 26, 2010 at 11:34 pm

Janice, I am so sorry you are going through this with your sweet daughter and I hope the doctors are able to give you some answers and some comfort.
Saying prayers here in PA…

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30 It Feels Like Chaos January 26, 2010 at 11:40 pm

Praying for your sweet baby girl and for you, too! May the doctors bring only good news!

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31 Upstatemomof3 January 26, 2010 at 11:41 pm

I actually have no real words of wisdom. I do know that there are lots of people out there that have been through things like this and between the doctors, the specialists and other moms I am sure there is help to be found. And since I can do nothing else I will pray for you, Olivia and your whole family.

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32 Deb - Mom of 3 Girls January 26, 2010 at 11:42 pm

I’m praying that you can get some answers for your precious little girl and that they can bring some relief for her and your whole family. Hugs…

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33 Lisa January 26, 2010 at 11:47 pm

Oh honey, I will keep you & Olivia in my heart, thoughts & prayers!

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34 Gabriel January 27, 2010 at 12:01 am

I’m very sorry to hear that. We’ll all be praying for you, Olivia and your family.

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35 Genny January 27, 2010 at 12:02 am

Janice,

You are such a good mama, and your daughter is precious. She will be in my prayers! I will pray that you will get ALL the answers you need and that you will feel peace and reassurance as you face this hard time.

Genny

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36 Wendy January 27, 2010 at 12:24 am

Janice, that had to be so hard to stand back and watch! I’ll be keeping you and Olivia in my prayers, for comfort, peace and answers!

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37 PhoenixTheBloggingMama January 27, 2010 at 1:15 am

I have you both in my prayers, as well as your whole family. (((HUGS)))

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38 * TONYA * January 27, 2010 at 1:38 am

Janice, I wish there were some words of hope or advice that I can offer you. Instead I will send you a giant hug and pray that you get the answers you need.

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39 Monica January 27, 2010 at 6:37 am

Sometimes I feel like I really know you as I read about you and see pictures of your children. Somehow I missed your post in December and I am so sorry. My heart goes out to you as a mother. Please know that you and your whole family are in my prayers.

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40 Amys blah, blah, blogging January 27, 2010 at 7:28 am

Praying for you.

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41 Robin ~ PENSIEVE January 27, 2010 at 8:40 am

Janice :(,

I missed your December post; I wasn’t aware of Olivia’s concerns.

Of COURSE, I’ll pray for her, you and your family. For wisdom for her doctors; for peace for y’all in the midst of uncertainty. That God will use this (ultimately) for your good (how?), His glory…and the advance of the Gospel.

My mother’s heart aches for you. I’ll pray because in that, we’re united. In your weakness may He give you His strentgh.

xo

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42 Shelley January 27, 2010 at 9:06 am

Janice, Olivia has a wonderful mom to support her through this! Will be praying for you as you seek answers for your uncertainties. May God give you peace in this process.

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43 Mikki January 27, 2010 at 10:00 am

Janice,
My mothers heart aches alongside of you. I will be praying for you and your little girl this day. May you find comfort in our Heavenly Father who created Oliva. HE doesn’t make mistakes, and He has a grand purpose for her life. May the doctors have heavenly wisdom and you to have peace beyond all understanding.
Praying for your family!!

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44 Jessica Harwood January 27, 2010 at 11:00 am

I really hope your appointment with the neurologist goes well and that together you can discover what is going on with sweet little Olivia. You’ve been in my thoughts & prayers. Good luck!

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45 Pamela January 27, 2010 at 11:06 am

I’m a new follower of yours. I clicked on the original link and learned about facial ticks, something I’ve never even heard of.

Powerful blog entries like these spread the knowledge we all need very much.

Olivia is in my prayers…

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46 Shannon Morris January 27, 2010 at 12:54 pm

I hope you find the answers you need so that you can focus on the positive and moving forward part vs. the worried and why part. I went through something similar with my daughter – our unexpected trip to the neurologist resulted in answers and a diagnosis that we are managing through and flourishing from. You words about actually needing to go to the neurologist ring so familiar to me!! I will be looking forward to reading about the outcome. I hope you find solace from your readers — from moms and women who know what you are going through. May you find strength in our experience and support from our good wishes.

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47 Amy January 27, 2010 at 2:33 pm

I am not sure if I am in tears because I am pregnant or just because I feel for you as a Mom. I feel so blessed to have a daughter who has been extremely healthy and “normal” since she was born. I feel like I have taken that for granted knowing that you are going through so much with your precious Olivia. You are very strong and I hope that God watches over you both at her appointment and brings some answers to you. It must crush your heart to watch her go through those ticks and I pray that your heart grows stronger for her each time! God’s Will will never take you where God’s Grace can not protect you! It’s easy for me to say “everything happens for a reason” from this side of the fence, but I know it is probably harder for you to hear it and believe it all the time. We will be praying for you and your family!

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48 Mary January 27, 2010 at 3:02 pm

Praying for you and your family.

On the plus side, pediatric neurologists are usually pretty nice people. When I was in my early teens I had one neurologist that I just adored despite the painful tests he put me through; he looked like Santa Claus and had a clock that ticked counter-clockwise. Here’s hoping that your neurologist is exactly the right person for Olivia and can quickly find out what is going on.

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49 Stacey Kannenberg January 27, 2010 at 3:25 pm

Just wanted you to know I have been praying for your family and your little Olivia since you first posted on it! Hugs to you all!

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50 MommaDJane January 27, 2010 at 4:17 pm

My daughter had infantile spasms at the age of 9 months old and they sure sound familiar. They were a form of seizures. I have lots of information and stories I could share with you, I’d be happy to. I wish you the best of luck at the appointment tomorrow and that you are relieved with good news. I can’t wait to hear the update and hope things go smoothly for both of you! You are in our thoughts.

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51 Tracey January 27, 2010 at 5:31 pm

Honey, no matter what they “find” out about her, she is still your beautiful Olivia and will have a wonderful life. She is incredibly lucky to have parents that will support and care for her through whatever trials life may put in front of her. From another mother whose child’s tics have confused and scared her, you have my love.

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52 Lorie Shewbridge January 27, 2010 at 11:23 pm

Janice,
Our prayers are with you… Take care of your beautiful little girl!

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53 kirsten January 29, 2010 at 7:08 pm

My thoughts and prayers are with you and olivia

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54 Deborah January 29, 2010 at 8:07 pm

My prayers for you and Olivia.

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