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I am one of those people — you know the ones who spend all their time on the URGENT to do list and never make it to the IMPORTANT list? Yup, that is me. Putting out fires instead of preventing them.
Well, this task is on BOTH the urgent and the important list but every time I start to tackle it, I get interrupted and put it down. One more day goes by. And the guilt builds and pulls me down.
So what is this tackle that is tormenting me???
FORMS — Olivia’s medical history, parent checklists, questionnaires and more. A big stack of them.
I need to fill them out for her new psychiatrist who will be following up on Olivia’s stereotypy. BUT, I need to get the forms done to get her on the waitlist for an appointment — and the forms have been here for weeks and weeks!
I know — it is unbelievable and unforgivable that I would procrastinate on something so important. But I have. And I feel just terrible.
So tonight I am tackling them and tomorrow (Tuesday) they will be in the mail heading finally to their destination and we will begin waiting to hear from the doctor.
I suppose one reason I have allowed myself to procrastinate is that I know that this follow up will be pretty hopeless. Doctors don’t usually treat stereotypies, but I insisted that Olivia be followed up to watch for other conditions. While stereotypies can present in healthy children, they often accompany other conditions such as autism.
And I suppose another reason I haven’t completed the forms is that every time I start to I get overwhelmed. I have been going through SO much with Jackson lately, along with weekly appointments with his psychiatrist as we try to find medications that work for him, that starting the process of forms and psychiatrists with Olivia is depressing.
But each time she clenches and contorts in one of her stereotypies my heart breaks and my stress level soars. I know it is “benign” but seeing your child lost in these repitative movements that can go on and on does not FEEL or LOOK benign to a parent.
It makes you want to scream and cry and make it stop. You want to fix it — make it go away.
So, WHY would I procrastinate on the forms???
Well, I think the final reason is just pure and plain procrastination. I have so much to do and I always plan on doing it “later.” But when “later” comes I am so exhausted I put it off for “one more day.”
So tell me, on what do YOU procrastinate? Does it make you feel terrible about yourself?
CaroleM says
I am horrible for paperwork – after having a baby, signing the kids up for school, etc… I just find it overwhelming. And usually you need to go gather information from somewhere else, and you don’t know where that info is… You’re not alone my dear!!
Nony the Slob says
Thanks for being so open and honest. You are definitely not the only one who does things like this. I think as moms sometimes we just don’t want to know because we know that it may change everything, for us, and mostly for our child.
You are definitely not alone, and you did it. That makes you a great mom. I know that feeling is probably one of the very worst in the world. Who knew that motherhood would be this emotional.
Ginny Marie says
Paperwork is so easy to procrastinate! I still have to fill out preschool paperwork for my youngest, and Kindergarten paperwork for my oldest! I’m also supposed to call the school district with a question, and I procrastinate making phone calls even more than paperwork!
Now that you’ve confessed, you’ll probably fill out all those papers soon!
Susie's Homemade says
Good luck with that important tackle. Think of it this way, once it is off your table, it will be off your shoulders…at least until the follow up:-)
Allison says
I can totally relate to this. Sometimes the important things are the hardest to do. Too emotional. Too demanding. Don’t feel bad about it, you’re doing it now, that’s the important part.
Deb - Mom of 3 Girls says
Oh Janice, I wouldn’t call that embarrassing at all. It’s not just tackling the paperwork, but also having to deal with everything that goes along with Olivia’s diagnosis too. Sometimes it’s easier to put it all off for just a little longer so you don’t have to think about everything it entails… I know I’m the same way. Plus you have everything going on with Jackson too – I truly don’t know how you do it all.
Bonnie says
Yes, don’t beat yourself up. When my Mom fell ill I knew in my heart she was not going to reocover. I forced myself to go to all the Dr. Appt’s with her and when we heard CANCER for some reason I was prepared to hear it and was able to accept this was it. I think that helped me be strong for the rest of my family.
Maybe the “hopeless” feeling is not really hopeless. Maybe it’s God pushing you to get those forms completed.
I hope something good comes of it.
And once again, do not be hard on yourself.
Liz says
Thanks for being real about this. I thought I was the only one that procrastinated medical issues. I have needed to make some appointments for a really long time, and just can’t seem to get to it.
Thanks so much for hosting!
~Liz
Amy says
I’ve done the same type of thing so many times!! I think my all time worse procrastination was letting too much time pass to where my child’s cavity turned into a her needing root canal (so ashamed to even type that!! world’s worst mom moment!!!) hope that makes you feel better:)
I host a weekly linkup called “Anti-Procrastination Tuesdays” our themes are very similar…I have found it so rewarding to just get things done thanks to help from my fellow bloggers.
Thank you for your fun link up party!!
Loralee says
Oh, how difficult. I’m not tackling anything half as hard this week. I was just bitching that I have to find a swimsuit for a conference. And honesty…this puts it all in perspective for me this week. xoxoxo
Janice says
Have fun at the conference! Which one is it? But buying a bathing suit can be a really pain too! BTW – Love your avatar!
Loralee says
Thanks! I’m speaking in Phoenix for a leg of Blogging Bootcamp. Should be fun. 🙂
Scrapping Servant says
It’s so easy to procrastinate any paperwork no matter how important it is – don’t beat yourself up – better late than never – good job hun.
Janice says
Thanks! I am especially terrible about paperwork. I still have my mom do my taxes! (Don’t tell anyone ok???)
Scrapping Servant says
🙂 my taxes have always been easy and I am always the one helping the others in the family do theirs 🙂 I won’t tell.
Laurie says
I still consult my dad on mine too. I don’t think it’s that strange. 😉
Janice says
Wonderful – good to know! 🙂