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Vicky from The Mummy Chronicles shares her story of becoming a work-at-home-mom.
Vicky is a writer and an Arbonne Independent Consultant. She blogs at themummychronicles.blogspot.com
Before I had my daughter, I worked a job that either had avalanches of work or incredible dry spells. Each day began at four thirty in the morning, with ten plus hour workdays, and a two-hour commute. I didn’t think twice about putting in overtime either. When I got pregnant, I just kept that pace up. It should have come as no surprise to me that the company didn’t prepare for my maternity leave. The avalanche of work continued to flow until one day my feet swelled beneath my desk and I could barely walk. I developed a suspicious pain in my side like pre-eclampsyia. Just like that, I was on bed rest until I delivered. I felt guilty too, as if I was betraying my co-workers. It took the doctor saying some pretty harsh words to me about the possible fate of my baby to take bed rest seriously. I figured I would be back to work in a few months and this rest would do me good.
Then maternity leave happened. Despite sleep deprivation, my typically cantankerous self showed signs of solace. I started writing again. I created a blog about this new life. I realized I now viewed returning to work as a countdown to lockdown. Time with my daughter would shorten from 12 hours a day to barely two. My writing, well there would be no more time for that.
My return to work was less than stellar. I was a wreck. I cried upon entering my office building. I felt sad, overwhelmed, and alone. As the weeks wore on, I realized I was always tired, irritated, and nasty. I hated our life. I found myself alternately crying or screaming in traffic as my daughter cried in the backseat. Images of Joan Crawford would flash into my head and felt a little too close to home. My husband, a terrific father, was launching a new business and career. Rock bottom was fast approaching our family.
Then, the spider bite happened. It was just a small bite on our daughter’s arm. We weren’t overly concerned. I worked long hours that week and wasn’t home to see her. My husband arrived home one night and inquired about the bite. I had forgotten about it. I looked at her arm. It was a ghastly red ring with a scabby mid-circle and a puss-filled center. My husband said, “Ooh, it looks worse than it did this morning.” “Worse?” I asked. “Yeah, much worse.” he said. At this hour, only the emergency room would be open. I howled with rage and worry.
At the emergency room, we slumped in our seats surrounded by people with broken limbs, and other sick kids. The wait was a minimum of seven hours. An hour went by and tears began to slide down my face. The stress of our life was too much. Everything was falling apart. We were not there for each other or our daughter. These types of things kept happening and derailing us. Our marriage was heading towards Divorce-ville. I quietly said to my husband, “I am quitting my job. We can’t go on like this. I’m quitting and that is that.” He nodded and quietly agreed. We both knew it was the only answer for us.
I worked for four more months while we constructed our game plan for the transition and I took side work as a writer. It buoyed my spirits that I could actually make money doing what I loved. Despite having made this decision we grew more stressed. I went to work each day feeling like a traitor stealing company secrets. The end seemed to be nowhere in sight. It seemed as if our goal was just always a bit beyond our reach. The day I handed in my notice, I felt I had finally hit the finish line tape at the end of a very long marathon.
Working at home a few months now we are settling into our routine. Some days are better than others. I divide my time between writing assignments, household tasks, and time with our daughter. The life of a work at home mother is a daily juggle just like anything else. It’s not all play dates and fun times. There are moments when I do long for conversations that are more adult. However, the freedom to create my own schedule, destiny, and that of our family far outweighs that longing. While working at home is not for everyone, it has made me appreciate my family more and be grateful for what we have. Not having to wake up at four thirty anymore is just an added bonus.
by Vicky from The Mummy Chronicles
SanDiegoClubs says
Working at home has always been my dream. Thanks for an article which just prodded me to work harder towards this goal.
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Adventures In Babywearing says
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Becky says
I have the same question as Barbara H above. How do you “find” writing assignments? I am quitting my job as of next week, and I’d love to figure out a way to write for real money.
I am so glad that you can stay home with your daughter. You will never regret that.
Faerylandmom says
Amazing post. My heart goes out to this gal. I feel so blessed to have yet to be in this situation.
Sara says
I’m so glad you get to be at home now as well as doing other work that you love. Thanks for a great article.
Ruth :) says
I’m so glad you found a routine and opportunity that works for you! Those first months as a new mommy are stressful enough – when you add in works stress and marital stress, it’s unmanageable isn’t it? I’m happy for you guys and wish you continued success and enjoyment as you settle into your new life!!
Robin says
Good for you! I quit my job last year as well. The stress of a full time job and raising children was too much. I am happy to have started my own company and found a fun life with my children. I don’t yell anymore and that is a good thing! Like you said, it’s not all fun days but it 100% better than what I had before. My priorities are in line and I am doing what I want to do.
Melissa R. Garrett says
GOOD FOR HER!! I am heading on over there now 🙂
Mama Zen says
Working at home is a lot harder than people think, but it is so worth it. Great article!
Shawn says
My story is very similiar … except that part of our story includes paying more than our monthly mortgage in child care costs, because of twinfants. I was a mess, we were a mess and all we had to show was two sick, crying, throwing up babies. After 6 months, I quit. I had already begun freelancing and we sold a car and paid off the other one. It was the most liberating decision I have ever made for myself, and for our family. No regrets. Thanks for this post! I think that mothers like us get lost in the so-called Mommy wars debate. We’re sacrificing in different ways, yet still caring for our children. It is NOT an easy life, but much easier than the one we were living before.
Tina says
I know how you feel. I have recently made the decision to work at home. I am so much happier for it. My sister on the other hand is working full-time and her adventures are inspiring, but make me feel exhausted. We support each other in our decisions and that makes the difference for both of us.
Blessings to you for stepping out and making the right choice for your family.
http://www.tinaannforkner.blogspot.com
Barbara H. says
I would be interested to hear more about how work-at-home writers actually get to the point of having writing assignments and such — how does one even get started.
relevantgirl says
What an amazing, stressful story. Wow. Welcome home.
I’m a work-at-home writer too, mostly books, some articles, though I find the articles are more steady and dependent income than book advances and royalties.
Mary E. DeMuth
http://www.relevantblog.blogspot.com