The Sampler – My Teeth Have A Low Self-Esteem

sampler-main-180-pix.jpg5 Minutes for Mom brings you exclusive samplings from the best mom blogs in our weekly column, The Sampler, hosted by 5 Minutes for Mom contributing editor Shera, from A Frog In My Soup.

Today we are featuring Kristen Welch, the wife and mom of three behind We Are THAT Family. “I chose that title because, well, we are THAT family . . . you know the ones! I blog because I love to write and I find it great therapy for life’s bumps.” Kristen’s blog also reminds other moms that they aren’t alone and that many other moms experience the same ups and downs of motherhood. I encourage all of you to visit Kristen’s blog for more great posts like this one! Enjoy!

My Teeth Have A Low Self-Esteem

I found a new dentist for my kids. He’s nice and his office staff is friendly and helpful. It’s a family dentistry practice. So, he sees kids and adults.

There’s a small kids waiting room with video games and toys. I have to force my children to play.

My husband liked the office so much, he became a patient.

That’s nice. I wish I could.

Oh, I like everything about the dentist’s office. My husband has encouraged me to switch. But I can’t join the rest of THAT family in their fun dentistry adventures.


My teeth have a low self-esteem.

It’s true.

Now, they aren’t horrid. You might see me smile and think they even look nice. And, on the surface, you are right. But I have deep-seeded teeth issues.

As a child I was always the one who had a cavity. My siblings would get their photos posted on the bulletin board because they didn’t have any. Stupid bulletin board.

I also didn’t lose baby teeth. So, in order for the tooth fairy to visit me, I had to have my teeth pulled at the dentist’s office. I remember once I had 8 teeth pulled in one day. There must have been pull one, get one free deal. My mom made great mashed potatoes, though. Good thing.

I brushed, flossed. It didn’t matter. I got braces and went thru dental torture in my teen years. I wore a horrid head gear. Even then, I was THAT girl; you know the one who wears her headgear to jr. high. My mom did her best, really, she believed the orthodontist when he said where it 15 hours a day.

There was also too much of something in the water because my teeth came in splotchy. As a young adult, I had bonding put over them to trick people into thinking they were a beautiful shade of white. It’s all a lie.

So all of these factors probably contributed to my teeth feeling so inadequate.

I’d really like to change dentists. I mean, really.

But I won’t. I feel comfortable at my current dentist and that is saying a lot, considering my history.

His office is dingy. He is old and doesn’t have any of the new equipment. His office staff is rude. It’s inconvenient and it’s hard to get an appointment.

And, there’s a bonus.

He smokes. Yes, my dentist is a smoker. So, when he takes a peek at my pearly whites, and moves in for a close up, I get quite a whiff.

This makes me happy. I mean, my olfactory senses are offended, but my teeth? They feel right at home.

I scoured the city for a crummy dentist. I feel comfortable opening my mouth and revealing my giant fillings and my splotchy teeth. I know he won’t expect much when he takes a look because between you and me, his teeth are nasty.

We belong together.

The other day my hubby was raving about the ‘family dentist.’ Hello? Can he really be called the ‘family dentist’ when not all the family attends? He was nudging me to come over to the pearly white side. But I’ve seen his dentist. I’ve watched him work on my children’s teeth. He’s young. He’s handsome. And I’m pretty sure his glowing white teeth have been in toothpaste commercials.

When he sees me, he may even think (from afar), she has nice even teeth.

But upon closer inspection it would be, “My stars, (I’m pretty sure young, handsome dentist talk this way) your teeth are terrible.” And then I’d feel like such a tooth failure. And he would want to do lots and lots of dental work. Which of course, freaks me out, considering my history.

When my current dentist looks into my mouth, do you know what he says?
“It looks good, I don’t see a thing wrong,” and he means it. He doesn’t want to change a darn thing.

And this makes me feel terrific.

~ Written by Kristen Welch

Visit Kristen at:
Favorite Topic: THAT family

If you would like to be considered for The Sampler please review The Sampler Guidelines.

This column is Hosted by Shera. She can be found at A Frog In My Soup


  1. says

    I can completely understand the issue of your teeth. I had SERIOUS issues, still have part of them to take care of.

    One thing I can reassure you, my very handsome, witty dentist with his gleaming office was wonderful to me! Who knows, you just might like the pearly side of life!

  2. Trisha says


    Oh my, you are too funny. I nearly spit out 8 teeth reading this.

    BTW I headed over to your sight and the hilarity just keeps rolling. I will be back!

  3. says


    As always you are such a hoot. I love your ability to find humor in everyday life.

    I’m so glad the Sampler showed you off to the bloggy world. You were already a Supa-stahhh! :)

  4. says

    Mr. Bums knows exactly how you feel. At age 9 he had 8 or 9 teeth pulled. The only difference is he has not one cavity. Makes me sick. I think I have a broke tooth right now.

  5. says

    Wow! My family have horrible teeth. Mine have only starting ‘rotting’ since I had kids. Props to you. I wouldn’t move either. When you find a great place, you have to stay!

  6. Shannon H says

    Oh my gosh, can I relate to being THAT kid, as I too wore various orthodontic devices thru middle school and high school. Thanks for the laughs!

  7. says

    Congratulations Kristen! Saw your message on Twitter and came over to investigate your newfound stardom.

    My only question is why you weren’t discovered before this? You’re a gem, and your blog is one I would never miss (unless I’m sleeping all day… again).

    Hugs, Jane

  8. says

    I can soooooo relate. I’m so embarrassed by my filling-filled teeth. And I just switched to this fancy high-tech new dentist office where he shows you your teeth on the TV screen while you sit there.

    Talk about humiliating… seeing your teeth complete with cavities and fillings magnified on a TV screen is something else.

  9. says

    Very cute!

    This reminds me that I need a root canal…I’ve been putting it off for the past 2 months. I make the appointment, cancel and reschedule…repeat again. Okay…I’ll try again next week.

  10. says

    Ohhh….you are hilarious…I can relate. I have teeth issues too! I had a dentist I loved as a child (actually one of my first crushes if you can imagine that!) And then, a few years ago, I had a terrible dentist (so bad that when people hear I went to him, they say, ‘oh…I’m sorry’) He replaced a crown (directly in the front) in the WRONG color. Two weeks before my wedding. And then went on vacation for a week. Hated him. :)

  11. says

    I am so sorry I am so late getting here. Great post! It was funny and I so related. I had no clue until I was in my 20’s that I still had bunches or baby teeth. Long story short I am now 34 and wear braces. I use to cry before going to the dentist, not for fear of pain but fear of embarrassment. I love your blog btw.

  12. says

    I’m waaaaaaaaay later than Becoming Me! No matter–this is hee lair! Stinkin’ adorable (and I’m not talkin’ about your not-family old dentist!).

    Cute subject and I just had to read through to the end. Daggum…these Sampler posts are terrific!


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