The Lies He Tells…

by Janice

A conversation between my six year old son and his babysitter:

“One day my mom ate a chocolate with alcohol in it and then she didn’t feed me.”

“What Jackson?!?”

“One day my mom ate a chocolate with alcohol in it and then she didn’t feed me.”

“Oh. Okay.”

Ten minutes pass.

“You know what I said about my mom and the alcohol?”


“I was lying. You shouldn’t believe me.”

Wow – I sure am glad I was exonerated on that charge! And for the record – I ate those chocolates after he was fed and put to bed. And yes – they tasted good!

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Janice is co-founder of 5 Minutes For Mom. She's been working online since 2003 and is thankful her days are full of social media, writing and photography. You can see more of her photos at

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{ 27 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Janice January 21, 2008 at 11:00 pm

one other funny thing about those chocolates – since i am nursing i was worried about eating them. so i took a bite, dumped out the alcohol inside and then ate the chocolate. lol. after two or three like that, i gave up and ate two – alcohol and all. i wonder if olivia got any in her system from those chocolates!


2 Ginny January 21, 2008 at 11:17 pm

Don’t you love the stories kids can tell, lol


3 Adventures In Babywearing January 21, 2008 at 11:17 pm

Oh too funny! And where can I get some of those chocolates? : )



4 The Wooden Porch January 21, 2008 at 11:25 pm

I want some too! Lots of them… or maybe just skip the chocolate. I just cleaned up puke.

This made me laugh. Very cute!


5 Wendy January 22, 2008 at 1:44 am

I’m still nursing, but I’d be willing to give them a try. Maybe I could get Sarah to bed a little earlier that way. LOL


6 Melody from ~Pennies In My Pocket~ January 22, 2008 at 3:30 am

I just did the ugly snort laugh and then woke up my husband … You know what I said about waking my husband? …I was lying, but I did snort laugh! LOL

ROTFL — this was hilarious!



7 The Other Elle January 22, 2008 at 4:26 am

Ha. At least it was only chocolate! When my daughter was in 2nd grade, a police officer came to her school to teach the kids about the Evils of Alcohol.

We dined in a Mexican restaurant a few weeks later and I ordered a margarita.

Let me tell you, that child drew TEARS from several people in the restaurant. There she was in her little ruffled pink sundress, with her blonde hair waving down her back and her blue eyes brimming, on her knees with her hands clasped imploringly, begging me to “PLEASE stop drinking, Mommy, PLEASE! I don’t want you to di-i-i-i-ie!”

It was the little hiccup in her voice that was the crowning touch.

I drew stares, glares, and looks of haughty distaste and condemnation from everyone in the restaurant. Even the waitress had contempt in her voice a little while later when she asked, “Do you want ANOTHER one?” Um, no. Just the check. And maybe a bag to put over my head.

Sigh. We never drank at home, so the poor kid wasn’t used to seeing us with alcoholic drinks. And the policeman told some mighty scary stories. But, explain that to the people who were muttering about “some people don’t deserve to have children”…? Right.

You need a thick skin to be a parent, sometimes!


8 mama k January 22, 2008 at 8:55 am

Sorry, but that is too funny! Kids come up with the strangest stuff.


9 Pamela Kramer January 22, 2008 at 9:30 am



10 Katrina (Callapidder Days) January 22, 2008 at 11:20 am

Oh, that’s too funny. You just never know what’s going to come out of our kids’ mouths!


11 Jenny January 22, 2008 at 11:50 am

LMFAO!! that is funny, but so so wrong.


12 Melissa Markham January 22, 2008 at 12:01 pm

Yikes! Kids do say the strangest things!


13 Laura January 22, 2008 at 12:26 pm

Oh mercy! Good thing he fessed up.


14 Andrea January 22, 2008 at 12:33 pm

This is too funny! Did you tell him that kids get taken away from their parents for lies like that? Sure it’s a scare tactic, but it’s also true.


15 Emma January 22, 2008 at 2:09 pm

I’m glad fessed up. I would like to tyr those chocolates too!


16 Tiffany January 22, 2008 at 3:23 pm

Bwahahahahaha! Gotta love 6 year olds. And btw…what chocolates did you have and where can I get some! *smile*


17 Christine January 22, 2008 at 3:32 pm

LOL :)

Hey, at least you don’t “sleep until after lunch,” and make your oldest son hold the baby “all day”!!

The things kids say!


18 jen January 22, 2008 at 5:14 pm

LOL kids :)

those chocs do sound yummy


19 Stephanie January 22, 2008 at 5:43 pm

Oh, the things kids say!


20 Rachel January 22, 2008 at 6:48 pm

I know that shouldn’t be funny, but it really is :-) At least he fessed up without prompting!


21 Shera - A Frog In My Soup January 22, 2008 at 8:52 pm

LOL! That is a great story! I am 100% behind the put them to bed and have a little treat idea!


22 Natalie January 22, 2008 at 9:40 pm

Oh, now that’s just too funny!


23 Jill January 22, 2008 at 9:48 pm



24 Shelba Lanham January 23, 2008 at 1:50 am

I use to think they were cute but now-a-days a child can’t be a child, if they go to school and tell their cute little stories you could have the police and D.S.S. knockin at your door. I have read alot of horrow stories about things like this. I had a friend that her husband bought rolling tobacco to roll cigarettes when money got tight and he couldn’t afford a pack of smokes. His daughter went to school and was rolling pretend cigarettes at playtime for her classmates they were playing house. Yep you guessed it the teach assumed father was rolling joints in front of the child and the next thing ya know D.S.S. is at the door. Nothing came of it because luckly the tobacco and rollin papers were there to show the worker but this kind of thing happens alot from cute lil stories kids can tell.


25 melody is slurping life January 23, 2008 at 3:44 am

OH! Just LOL…you drunken woman. :)


26 Christine January 24, 2008 at 1:51 am

you go girl! now I know why my mother gave those chocolates to me for xmas!


27 Colleen Palat January 24, 2008 at 9:47 pm

Aren’t kids just too funny!?!


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