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I am a weekly columnist over at Guideposts.com, but every time they choose to feature one of my posts in the main marquee on the home page I get excited.
There is something about seeing your face front and center on a major site — I grew up hoping I would one day write for Guideposts magazine — that makes you feel like maybe you actually are a “real” writer, that maybe you actually achieved your dream!
My featured article this week is a post I wrote about my son and my struggles with anxiety. We both battle worries, but for very different reasons:
“That day, I learned to look closer, listen harder and dig deeper. Our children can have all different kinds of worries that can hold them back.”
Here is an excerpt from my post. You can read the full post at Guideposts.com.
Worry Wart
My son got my hair color, and my anxiety. But we both learned to cope
My son inherited my tendency to worry.
The only difference is our anxieties come from completely different things.
I suffered from terrible separation anxiety as a child. Even now as an adult, I hate to be separated from the people I love.
I have to push down little pangs of panic when I have to travel without my children or when someone takes them in a car without me.
I feel anxious when my twin sister or my mom board a plane. And if my husband is late getting home, I start dialing his cell phone.
So when my son went through a difficult stage of crying for me during his first year at preschool, I assumed it was separation anxiety. But it wasn’t…
Click here to finish reading at Guideposts.com…
YOUR TURN: What about you??? Did your children inherit your challenges? Have any of your children struggled with anxiety?
Written by Janice.
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Amy says
I loved reading this article. A wonderful reminder of slowing down and being present in our children’s lives.
Brianne says
Your post gave me the chills because you remind me so much of myself. My husband and I went on a cruise when my daughter was almost two. I knew I would miss her but I was stricken with this anxiety that I did not know I had. I worried if she was ok, if she was happy, what if something happened to us? What would she think? Would she be messed up for life? I cried almost every night there. Will not do that again for a long time. But I also worry about the people I love. If my husband flies for business my stomach is in knots waiting for his phone call to say he landed. Luckily my daughter has not shown sign of this. She is quite the opposite of me. But my son who just turned two seems to have a lot more issues with seperation. So only time will tell how he will turn out! I hope my kids are more like my husband when it comes to stress and anxiety. He handles it much better then me. Thanks for posting that!
Brianne
Ms. Modern says
i’m actually reading a lot about this right now – about mother passing things to their children. it’s helping me understand myself and my mother. your article is great! keep up the great work!
Janice says
Ladies thank you sooo much for sharing your experiences too!
Genetics are so fascinating as we watch to see what our children did or didn’t inherit from us.
Angie says
First of all, congrats on Guideposts! I don’t think I ever made it over here to say that!
I subscribe to them so I read the articles OFTEN! (especially yours!)
I’m a person who has a hard time trusting and I worry alot. My daughter (who’s 10) inherited that from me. It’s hard…
TheAngelForever says
Janice, thank you for writing this. My six year old son is just like this. From doing a little digging my husband is quite similar. My son internalizes a lot of things and they become rationalized fears. We typically figure it out in the way of nightmares or behaviors. Before school started he was afraid of “The Smiths” and we could not figure out what this was and what it had to do with taking the bus. Last Thursday I finally got it. He thought they were saying “The Smiths” but it was “dismissed” and he was frightened about this unknown word. We have also found that our son’s anxieties increase when his body is fighting off an immune response (likely thanks to stresses on his body) and allergy increases. Good luck to you and your son.
Thena says
I remember anxieties in school because I was so shy and quiet. This will really touch my sister-in-law though. There’s times that she can’t leave her house or be around other people.
babies says
Janice, it is so touchable that I and my baby are just like this. It helped me to learn that his “love language” is touch, so if I hug him for a few minutes, it works wonders! Thanks so much for sharing.
Stephanie says
Congrats, Janice! I’m so happy for you. You definitely deserve “front page” status. 🙂
rachel-asouthernfairytale says
JAN ~ I MISS your face.
I miss your smile, your laugh.. you.
I’ve been so busy and I got gobsmacked with this beautiful post today in my reader and damn girlie. I miss you and I’m SO proud of you!
xoxo
Kasey says
Wow! You just explained my daughter and myself. She has the same issues as you son AND decided on her own one day that it was going to be ok and off she went in the door without me having to pull her off my neck screaming.
I have the same anxieties that you have. I really don’t want to pass this on to my daughter, but maybe it’s genetic since it seems she’s already taking some of it on.
Genny says
Congratulations, Janice! I’m sure your article will be helpful to so many moms. 🙂
For much of my life, I’ve been a people pleaser. And I do see those tendencies in my kids from time to time. (I’m realizing more and more that so much of their personalities are in their genes.)
living graciously says
My oldest unfortunately has my fear of being in situations that we may fail at or that will bring attention to ourselves. This fear has caused me to miss out on doing many things I would have enjoyed participating in. Because if that I tend to push M~~ex: she was afraid to try out for the competition team at her dance studio~~people looking at her/judging her. I made her (she made the team!!) I so not want her to look back on her life and say, “I wish I had…..”~~trying to find the fine line of encouraging, but not pushing:)
Tammy
Maddy says
All of mine struggle with different forms of anxiety and in different degrees. I have no idea where they got it from as neither of us are particularly anxious without cause.
Fortunately none of them have my freckles either.
Cheers
Casual Friday Every Day says
Janice, I am so excited for you! To have the opportunity to write for such a site is a huge honor, but then to have your posts featured is even more exciting.
Nell
Real Life Sarah says
Janice, I am just about in tears, because my daughter and I are just like this. I have had generalized anxiety since I had my first child. My middle daughter (6) had tremendous anxiety over making friends. She had a horrible bullying episode last year which made it worse. I know that when she irrationally loses control and goes into a crying spell, it’s probably not because she can’t have a lollipop. Usually she had an argument with a friend, or an authority figure reprimanded her (rightly so, mostly!).
It helped me to learn that her “love language” is touch, so if I hug her for a few minutes, it works wonders! Thanks so much for sharing.
It really helped