I’m reading Coleman Scott Larson’s carepages update and I’m choking on a lump in my throat as tears well up…
You might be one of the thousands who have been following Coleman’s journey on carepages.com, or you might remember Coleman from our Blogs Can Change Lives campaign, or this might be the first time you’ve seen his photo… regardless of how long each of us have known Coleman, he has a message for us:
“Coleman would NOT want you to be mad at God.”
I do not know how Coleman’s mother can write with such courage… it must be God’s strength within her.
Here are some excerpts from her recent post called “Tears filled with Hope”.
“Coleman said long ago, “Some day I won’t need NO more meds or pokes, wight mommy?”
No more sweetie. You are free.
Coleman was an amazing child of God and we were so honored to be chosen as his parents.
He left this world at 10:45 last night- he fought HARD until the very end, not wanting to give up, but finally letting go. He was a warrior and a hero our hearts will forever miss. We had the most glorious five years together- a gift we will never forget.”
Coleman’s mother tells this profound story… you MUST read this…
“One day Coleman heard someone say they were mad at God. He didn’t say a word, but later came to me with this complete look of disbelief on his face and asked, “mommy? did you hear them say they were mad at DOD? WHY would they say that?” He couldn’t even fathom the thought. Then he raised his little eyebrows and said, “well, I hope they don’t say that in PUB-WIC (public)!” and walked away. He knew there were some things he could not change, but HIS faith never wavered.
Lots of people have mentioned their anger toward God …how can He let this happen when so many people have been praying for Coleman? Why didn’t he answer our prayers?
I just can’t be angry at Our God who sent Coleman to us in the first place. Coleman was a child of God, WE were chosen to be his parents- and how blessed we were. Maybe my feelings will change, but like Coleman, I can’t imagine being angry at God. Would we have loved to have had more time with Coleman? YES! I want him back right now, but I know that’s the selfish part of me talking. I know I will hurt more than I can ever imagine in missing him… and I know I will have MANY days of heartache and anger, but my anger is over the fact we live in a world where we can do so much, but still do not have a cure for this horrific disease. Children are paying the price for that. More on that will come-
I guess what I’m saying is I know for a fact, Coleman would NOT want us to be mad at God. He taught us so much in his time here. His lessons will go on for a very long time. He knew where he came from and he knew where he was going. My heart aches for more time, but I’m SO thankful for the time we got with him, and we know we WILL be with him again. God doesn’t always answer our prayers in the way we want him to…HIS ways are not ours, and that’s hard to accept, but true. It doesn’t mean I don’t question it- it’s hard to understand, but one day we WILL know.
Many people have asked how Caden is doing. Now that’s a long story, but we have assured him that we love him. He is dealing the best way he can- just like us.
I turned my desk Praying Parent calendar today, and thought I’d share what it said…
“We are dependent on God to enable us to raise our child properly, and He will see to it that our child’s life is blessed.” One thing I have learned is that I should not try to force my own will on my child in prayer. I have found it is better to pray more along the lines of “Lord show me how to pray for this child. Help me to raise him Your way, and may Your will be done in his life.”
I believe God’s will was done through Coleman. I know it.”
The family is asking that instead of flowers, please send donations in Coleman’s memory to either: