Forgive that Blogger??? — Grace in the Internet

by Janice

Grace.

I LOVE that word. In fact, grace is my life word.

blogging-haters-blog-trollWhen I have finished my turn down here on this crazy planet, I want my life to have been about forgiveness and compassion.

Because as flawed as I am, and as hard as it is for me to forgive people who have hurt me or who have hurt others, there is nothing I love more in this world than the gift of forgiveness.

Really — forgiveness is incredible. And the most amazing part about offering grace is the gift it is to yourself to give it!

Yesterday, I published a post at Babble’s MomCrunch about Jonah Mowry, a thirteen year old who posted a YouTube video about the pain he was enduring from school bullying.

I expected some of his online haters to find the post and share their opinions about him. And as I responded to them, it reminded me about how the Internet is such an important place to practice forgiveness and compassion.

A place where you aren’t judge by how brand-named you are dressed, nor how you look.

It is so easy to sit behind a screen and judge someone. It is easy to hold on to that pain and some people even allow those emotions to become so overpowering that they use their time and energy to seek and destroy others online. Whether the “victims” are bloggers or kids posting YouTube videos, haters happen and the cyberbullying multiplies the suffering.

And I am amazed by it all — by the judgments being tossed around so easily.

As I said to one of the commenters at MomCrunch yesterday, I don’t care what a person has done — we are all guilty of crap!!! We have all said and done terrible things. Everyone hurts and I want to extend grace and compassion to everyone — because in the end, crap is crap and we all have tons of it in our own lives.

My job on this planet isn’t to judge other people. It is to be responsible for my own choices and for how I treat other people.

I want people to truly HEAR each other and see that inside we are all humans, hurting, broken and guilty.

So, to the blog trolls and the haters, and to all of us who feel those surges of anger and condemnation when we read stories or disagree with opinions, I suggest releasing those negative feelings. We don’t have to agree or even respect other people’s choices. But we don’t need to condemn them and own that negativity in our own lives.

Let it go. We are all human. And the wave of power and peace we experience when we offer grace and compassion is incredible.

Is this easy?!? NO! And I certainly have not mastered forgiving people! I never will. I am still a human being remember? ;)

But, I can strive towards it. I can remember that I will not find any peace by judging someone else.

And on the Internet, where people often bear their souls or shout their opinions, sometimes we need to remind ourselves of that over and over.

Have you had haters or blog trolls attack you online? How do you deal with your own feelings of judgment when you get angry with a blogger’s opinion or conduct?

P.S. And to the haters and trolls who are going to say, “What a pile of sanctimonious crap! Why doesn’t this author stop patting herself on the back and stop judging those who judge?” I say, “Sorry if this post sounds preachy — that is the last thing I want to do! I am the first person to say that I am a messed up, flawed person. And that is my point: I suck. So I am not going to judge you when you suck.”



Email Author    |    Website About Janice

Janice is co-founder of 5 Minutes For Mom. She's been working online since 2003 and is thankful her days are full of social media, writing and photography. You can see more of her photos at janicecrozephotography.com.

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{ 13 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Dominique December 8, 2011 at 4:06 am

I do the best and easiest thing to do- hit the delete button

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2 Janice December 8, 2011 at 6:30 am

Yes – delete is a great option! Too bad kids didn’t have that option at school, eh? :(

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3 Christina Gould December 8, 2011 at 4:17 am

Hi! I feel your pain. Yes, I’ve gotten nasty comments from blog readers. One went into great detail about how she imagines my vagina looks and feels–she didn’t paint a pretty picture–and another commented that I deserved my serious illness. Jeeminy, someone’s having a bad day!

Honestly, online antics don’t bother me anymore. They did when I was younger, but now I just laugh them off. The older you get, the less you care what others think or say, and the more you realize that it’s about them, not you. Happy people don’t feel the need to make others feel bad.

As for children, I’m glad that we as a nation are finally doing something about bullying in schools. It’s been going on since the dawn of time, and it’s ruined many a childhood, mine included.

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4 Janice December 8, 2011 at 6:31 am

Oh Christina I am so sorry that you have had to endure all that!

I am glad to hear that you are now able to deal with the negativity in a healthy way! HUGS!!!

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5 Rachel M Cotton December 8, 2011 at 8:50 am

“I want people to truly HEAR each other and see that inside we are all humans, hurting, broken and guilty”.

I love this line, and I love how you explored this subject in a full circle. Truth is about all sides of an issue, and you covered it well. Bravo!

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6 Amy Mueller December 8, 2011 at 9:11 am

Great post, Jan. I wish more of us would take a step back and realize we are all flawed and imperfect. We will always be a work in progress. As far as bullying at school is concerned, it’s our job to mold our children into respectable adults. My one wish is that more parents would take the time to help their kids understand that this is wrong. It is hard work but we’ve got to do it. They need to learn from somebody, after all. It should be us. <3

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7 Tarasview December 8, 2011 at 3:23 pm

hey, I suck too. And I’d be completely screwed without grace so I try to extend it to others as well.

love you!

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8 tracey - justanothermommy December 8, 2011 at 8:33 pm

Online trolls are such a new phenomenon. People feel as though the screen gives them a right to be as nasty as they want to be… that their words don’t carry as much punch as in person. But they DO. I just don’t understand the need to knock other people down. It TRULY doesn’t lift you up at ALL!

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9 Kate December 8, 2011 at 11:29 pm

Thanks so much for this post. Forgiveness is hard but it’s harder on you in the long run to not forgive and let bitterness fester. Praise the Lord for His faithfulness and grace that edures forever!

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10 Paige December 9, 2011 at 9:30 am

You don’t suck. You are human. You make mistakes like the rest of us and all you can do is try each day to be better than you were the day before. If you fail, apologize and move on. Breathe, let it go, and do better tomorrow.
Grace is a gift that we all can embrace. And if not, (blog haters),” Bless your heart you must be so tired from being so nasty all the time cause that takes so much energy. Perhaps, you just need a nap. You are never too old for naptime.”

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11 Ray December 10, 2011 at 1:35 am

Janice, I love that I can hear your passion while reading this and can feel your compassion!

Its awesome that at a young age, I learned that if you don’t like me, (it may hurt and I may need to talk it out), “that was not going to be my problem”. I made the decision that I would love myself and surround myself with people who also loved me.
Having worked with children for 15 years and now I have my own children, I have always wanted to pass onto to them, the great gift of confidence. Confidence, I believe comes from truely loving yourself and being surrounded by people who love you!.
It has become clear to me that no one wakes up one day and decides they want to ‘damage’ someone. Everyone one of those hurtful people out there is coming at you with hate and cruelty because they themselves are not feeling the love from him or herself and the people they are surrounded by! They are missing something very important POSITIVE SELF CONFIDENCE! So the next time, you or someone around you gets ‘damaged’ by another, stop and remind yourself that, that person needs LOVE. Take the focus off of what they “did” and focus on how sad it is that they don’t feel loved.

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12 Christyn December 10, 2011 at 3:28 pm

Forgive a nasty person?? Why, when I can just hunt them down and show them my kickboxing moves?? No, seriously, the world is full of unhappy people, opinionated people, angry people, people who are hurting and don’t know anything but how to return hurt…if you are different, stand out and stand apart and show compassion. Let it roll off your shoulder…maybe you’ll start a trend!

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13 Julia January 19, 2012 at 1:24 pm

I love this “My job on this planet isn’t to judge other people. It is to be responsible for my own choices and for how I treat other people.”

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