Making Time for Mom & Dad

by Jennifer Donovan

Jennifer Donovan, 5 Minutes for Books Editor, shares her thoughts on making time as a married couple after having children. This is the first post in a series inspired and sponsored by the new memoir from New York Times bestselling, author Melanie Shankle, “The Antelope in the Living Room“.

I got married fairly young, right out of college. For a variety of reasons, we waited five years before we got pregnant, so we were used to being two before we became three. Because of that, we had plenty of opportunities to go out with friends or take trips together or select restaurants that didn’t have kids’ menus.

Making time for mom and dad

Having only one child for another five years made it easy to make time for us. I know that some people struggle with those baby years, but for us, it was actually fairly easy handling one baby at a time. In fact, babies go to bed. Babies don’t fail tests or lie or argue. Babies didn’t really complicate things for us.

But now we have a teen halfway through high school and a tween who will be in middle school in a year and a half. For me, the challenges of adolescence made it much harder to make time for mom and dad. Meeting the challenge of two sets of activities requires a “divide and conquer” philosophy. The added stress of the unique issues of tweens and teens can create more stress in the home and even between parents.

Here are a few ideas that have helped us make time for Mom and Dad:

  1. Bedtimes
    Our kids have always had consistent bedtimes. From infancy up to about 3rd or 4th grade, the kids were in bed by 8:00 p.m. My 9 1/2 year old is still in bed by that time most nights, though it’s stretched to 8:30 at times. Even my high schooler is up in her room by 8:45 or so. This leaves time for adult interaction without distractions.
  2. Dates
    We never instituted the weekly date night as recommended, but we did make sure that date nights happened on occasion, at least every few months. One way we kept costs down was by using younger babysitters and not overpaying them (I’m amazed at what people pay my daughter to babysit). If they don’t think it’s enough, someone else will.
  3. Special outings and trips 
    One way we make time together special is by scheduling special overnight dates and trips. When my husband worked in New York City, I would find special hotel rates, and we’d make our date an overnighter by finding a friend to keep the kids or employing a college-aged sitter. We also try to take multi-night trips away at least once a year, and more frequently when we can.

Taking these steps not only shows your spouse that your marriage is important, but it shows your kids too. It’s important for your kids to know. Having parents who make time for themselves is important. It won’t scar them. It helps remind them they are children and that mom and dad have lives outside of them.

About the Book: Antelope in the Living Room

New York Times bestselling author Melanie Shankle comes through again with her hilarious memoir of married life. Read The Antelope in the Living Room!


Melanie reminds you of the joy that comes when couples learn to laugh together. Welcome to the real story of two people sharing one life.

Order a copy of Melanie’s book today.
Disclosure: This is the first post in a series inspired and sponsored by the new memoir from New York Times bestselling, author Melanie Shankle, “The Antelope in the Living Room“.

Written by Jennifer Donovan, 5 Minutes for Books Editor.

Email Author    |    Website About Jennifer Donovan

Jennifer Donovan has been a part of the 5 Minutes for Mom team since 2007. She writes product reviews, covers events, and manages the 5 Minutes for Books weekly column and website. She lives in Houston and blogs at Snapshot about life with her family.

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