A Time to Wean…

by Janice

Can I tell you a secret baby girl?

I didn’t mind your night feedings. In fact, I loved them. They were my favorite time with you.

Every night, when the house was quiet and your brother and daddy were fast asleep, I would be working away at my computer downstairs when I would hear you stir. As you cried your urgent, frantic tears, I would call out, “Mommy’s coming,” and run up the stairs, two at a time, to get to you.

When I opened the door, I would see you sitting up, the back of your tiny hand rubbing your eyes. You looked so small and helpless, sitting there in the middle of the bed. I would scoop you up and you would instantly stop crying. “Mommy’s here. Mommy’s here.”

Then I would grab a diaper and head downstairs for our nursing ritual, cooing to you as we went. We would get cozy on the couch and I would nurse you. Mommy and baby together while the rest of the world slept. It was bliss for both of us.

But it is time to wean…

After seven bouts of mastitis, including recurrent mastitis that has ravaged my body for almost two months, I have pumped both you and me with endless rounds of antibiotics. Even now, I am on a double dose of extra strong antibiotics. When I try to decrease to a normal dose, the infection returns. It seems my body is screaming, “I am done!” even though I have tried for months to ignore it.

Two nights ago, as I nursed you, I knew it was probably the last time. I have been weaning you slowly, dropping one feed at a time. And it was time to say goodbye to our night feed as well.

As you nursed, I wished that someone were there to take some pictures for me – a picture of your feet crossed, a picture of your eyes closed as you drank, a picture of your fingers tangled in my hair. I don’t want to forget any of it. I can feel the memories slipping away already.

I hate to wean you so soon. You are not yet sixteen months old. I had planned to nurse until you were at least two. But I know it is time. I must let go.

Tonight as I rocked you to sleep, your arms wrapped around my neck, your body hugging me like a baby koala, I knew that as we end our mother-baby bond of nursing, we will replace it with other forms of bonding. There will be hugs and cuddles and kisses that magically heal. There will be snuggles at bedtime and long talks after lights out. There will be stories and secrets and giggles.

And one day, I pray, I will be there with you as you learn to nurse your baby. I will promise you the pain will end and the bliss will come – those early days aren’t easy. I will burp and diaper so you can rest.

And when it comes time for you to wean, I will take photographs so you can remember.



Email Author    |    Website About Janice

Janice is co-founder of 5 Minutes For Mom. She's been working online since 2003 and is thankful her days are full of social media, writing and photography. You can see more of her photos at janicecrozephotography.com.

View all articles by

{ 125 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Cjristy January 16, 2009 at 7:41 am

I’m weeping now. Your sentiments really touched me. I completely regret not taking many photos if my daughter when she was nursing, especially since we weaned so fast.

That being said, I am glad that you are listening to your body. I know that you’ve been very ill. I certainly hope that your mastitis clears up quickly.

Reply

2 Jennifer, Snapshot January 16, 2009 at 7:42 am

That’s so sweet, Janice. I’m glad that you are at peace with the fact that it’s time.

I didn’t mind night feedings too much either — although both of my kids were good sleepers, so they didn’t last much longer than 5 or 6 months. It is the sweet privilege of a mom to do that.

Reply

3 Amber Stevens January 16, 2009 at 8:04 am

That was very touching….makes me think about how hard (and also freeing) it was for me to give up nursing and wean!

Reply

4 Upstatemom January 16, 2009 at 8:47 am

That made me cry. Baby Sister is only four months old now but I can already feel how sad it will be when days like the one you described come around. I think I will go get some extra snuggle time in with her.

Reply

5 Mom24 January 16, 2009 at 9:16 am

That really brought back memories that made me want to cry. I’m sorry that you did not get to choose your time, but what a wonderful time (with the exception of all that nasty mastitis ;) ) you’ve had. You certainly fought the good fight. I too wish I has pictures of nursing my precious babies. {{{hugs}}}

Reply

6 christieo January 16, 2009 at 9:17 am

Beautiful post Janice, as always I so love your writing. I know just how you feel about those final days of nursing and the picture you painted of those beautiful nursing moments brought back so many memories for me. So precious.

Reply

7 Jessica at PUDGET January 16, 2009 at 9:31 am

What a beautiful post. I felt the same way when weaning my girls. It’s so hard.

Reply

8 Christine January 16, 2009 at 9:44 am

Oh, this has me bawling! My little girl just turned a year old, and I know we need to start weaning. There is part of me that’s ready, because we have a lot of sleeping challenges, due largely to her dependence on nursing and after a year of horrible sleep, I’m at my wit’s end! But, there is also part of me that’s not ready at all. Not ready to let go of our special time together, when it’s just me and her, sharing what no one else can. I will cherish whatever time we have left with nursing. I will miss it when it’s done, despite it being so frustrating at times.

Reply

9 FireMom January 16, 2009 at 9:50 am

Sending hugs. Weaning is an emotional time for most. It sounds like you’re going into it with a good attitude. Sending all the best!

Reply

10 SarahHub January 16, 2009 at 9:51 am

Oh, it’s hard to type through my tears.

I weaned Evie when she was 19 months, and I still miss it. Her little body curled into mine…

This was such a beautiful post that perfectly captured a mom’s feelings on weaning.

Reply

11 Erica January 16, 2009 at 10:10 am

Oh Janice, you brought tears to my eyes. This was so beautifully written.

Reply

12 MommyNamedApril January 16, 2009 at 10:13 am

oh, honey, you just totally made me cry. you should nurse at least once more to get your picture!

Reply

13 Heather January 16, 2009 at 10:36 am

Oh Janice, your words are so touching. You really took me back to my time nursing my own babies and the bittersweet process of weaning. Hugs hon, I hope the mastitis goes away soon!!

Reply

14 Mandi January 16, 2009 at 10:56 am

Ok, add me to the saps – I’m so choked up! My boys weaned themselves too early and it broke my heart! I hope that this clears up your mastitis (I’ve had it and BOY oh BOY is it not fun!!!!) and I’m sorry it’s taking this kind of sacrifice to take care of it.

I agree that you should plan one more nursing and have someone photograph it.

Reply

15 Cat January 16, 2009 at 10:57 am

You just broke my heart. :-( My daughter weaning a few months ago and I still miss our time together.

Reply

16 Megan January 16, 2009 at 11:00 am

What a beautiful post. This mama is weeping. Bub was weaned earlier than I would have wanted when he went on a nursing strike that I couldn’t get him back from. I wish I had been nearly this eloquent then, rather than a hormonal mess. Thanks for your incredible post.

Reply

17 K Storm January 16, 2009 at 11:14 am

There is nothing more precious in my memories than seeing that nursing baby.

Reply

18 Kama January 16, 2009 at 11:39 am

That was such a touching post. My son is 4 months old and I just love those night feedings…unless there are more than 2 of them! :) It truly is such a sweet time and I’m so glad that we have it. I can’t imagine not getting up every night with him and being one-on-one, but I know that day will come…

Reply

19 Christine January 16, 2009 at 11:48 am

Wow, that brought memories back to me. My sons were 22 months and 18 months when I weaned them… both a little sooner than I would have liked to. I still miss those nursing days. **sigh** There are other great and wonderful bonding experiences to have, but honestly nothing is like that of nursing. Thank you for sharing this beautiful post!

Reply

20 Bri January 16, 2009 at 12:01 pm

Thanks for the touching post, Janice. In a couple weeks my first breastfeeding experience will be coming, and I have to admit that while looking forward to it I’m just a touch nervous. But, it’s all part of the initial adjustment!

Reply

21 Susan January 16, 2009 at 12:12 pm

Janice, I’m so sorry I wasn’t there to take the photo. (As you know, we didn’t expect you all to fall sick with such a bad flu that would keep us away.)

Reply

22 Virginia January 16, 2009 at 12:14 pm

That was beautiful. Oh, how I miss those sweet moments. It brings such a sense of purpose in life. But, you’re right, those bonding moments will be replaced with others just as precious.

Reply

23 Courtney from Mommie Blogs January 16, 2009 at 12:14 pm

oh I just teared up! This was such a beautiful post.

Reply

24 Amy January 16, 2009 at 12:53 pm

Awww…beautiful post!

Reply

25 Melissa January 16, 2009 at 1:04 pm

What a lovely letter to your daughter. Thank you for sharing it and reminding those of us still nursing how blessed we truly are. :o)
Hope the weaning goes well.

Reply

26 Renée aka Mekhismom January 16, 2009 at 1:12 pm

This is so beautiful. I remember the days of nursing and I miss them.

Reply

27 Paper Bridges January 16, 2009 at 1:13 pm

I’m so sorry. :( I loved nursing too.

Reply

28 Marlo January 16, 2009 at 1:14 pm

Sending virtual ((hugs)) your way. I went through this with my third (and last) child about 2 weeks ago. A beautiful post.

Reply

29 Candace January 16, 2009 at 1:15 pm

So bittersweet– I know that exact feeling of trying to take the mental photograph. My first weaned at 18 mos by herself…I was ready, but also not.

Reply

30 Jennie January 16, 2009 at 1:20 pm

Wow, you made me cry. I,too, miss the closeness of nursing. My daughter’s been weaned for close to 3 years now and your post took me back immediately to those quiet night feedings. I’m proud of you for taking care of yourself, though, even if this isn’t what you wanted to do.

Reply

31 Annie January 16, 2009 at 1:21 pm

((Hugs))

Definitely take those pictures! I had some professional nursing pictures taken (in addition to the ones we have taken ourselves) and I will cherish them for years to come.

One of them is posted here: http://phdinparenting.com/2008/08/01/happy-world-breastfeeding-week/

Reply

32 Jus Shar Designs January 16, 2009 at 1:22 pm

You have been through so much in your attempts to not have to wean her. I understand your feelings of loss, but you will definately find other ways to bond.

My DD will be 13 next month, and she’ll still crawl into bed with momma to snuggle. :-) Bonds don’t have to be broken.

I really hope that you can finally get rid of your mastitis once-and-for-all. I’ve never heard of anyone having such a bad time of it.

Reply

33 T with Honey January 16, 2009 at 1:23 pm

I was so squeamish about breastfeeding I wouldn’t let anyone take a picture. One day when my mom was visiting I was nursing Princess on our deck. My mom snuck the camera out in her pocket and quietly took a picture of us.

It is the only picture I have of me feeding Princess and although my hair looks awful, my eyes rimmed with dark bags I treasure it dearly.

Reply

34 Lawanda January 16, 2009 at 1:24 pm

OH! Niagra Falls!! haha

Reply

35 katie January 16, 2009 at 1:44 pm

tears… I’m nursing my third and want more babies to nurse, I love nursing.

Reply

36 Heather January 16, 2009 at 1:45 pm

I’m crying and I felt my heart lurch as I read these words. Kudos to you for persevering through so much.

I don’t know what else to say. I can’t stop crying… {{Hugs}}

Reply

37 MK January 16, 2009 at 1:47 pm

Wonderful post! It brought tears to my eyes and reminded me how wonderful nursing was. Although it’s been a decade since I weaned my daughter, that beautiful feeling of oneness with her came rushing back.

Reply

38 Laura January 16, 2009 at 1:57 pm

Beautifully written! My daughter will be one next month, but I am not completely ready to give nursing up! Im so sorry you had to wean her before you wanted to.

Reply

39 Victoria January 16, 2009 at 2:04 pm

Oh, that brought tears to my eyes! Weaning is such a mixture of emotions! I am so sorry you had to deal with so much while nursing and had to give it up before you were ready! But, it is true, now your relationship will change and there will be other forms of bonding that are so special in their own ways!

Reply

40 Krista January 16, 2009 at 2:10 pm

You made me cry, and I’m not a crier! I nursed my DD for the last time on November 23. I wish for a photo of the memory too.

Reply

41 Christie January 16, 2009 at 2:54 pm

Phew, I thought I would be the only one crying. Beautiful post and I am sure you will find another way to be close to your daughter. Off to find the kleenex …

Reply

42 casual friday everyday January 16, 2009 at 3:16 pm

As with every one else I’m now weeping. I know this has to be very sad for you. Even though you know it’s best for your body it has to be rough to say goodbye.

My little guy is only two weeks old and we’ve faced so many problems from thrush to clogged ducts to nipple confusion to lazy eating and a tongue tie … even with all of that I so desperately want to make this work.

There’s just something about that bond. You’ve been so blessed to have it for as long as you have :)

HUGS.

Nell

Reply

43 Ryanon January 16, 2009 at 3:18 pm

oh my gosh that made me cry. just thinking about when i’m gonna have to wean my little guy- he’s only 15 months. I’m going to have to share that w/ my husband, it describes all of the wonderful feelings i feel, despite some of the hard times and frustrations. i too think about helping my baby when she is a mommy to experience this wonderful relationship. thank you for sharing!!

Reply

44 Elita January 16, 2009 at 3:30 pm

This is so sweet! My son is 13 motnhs old and I hope to nurse until age 2 as well. We still nurse in the morning and at night and it is such a nice part of my day. Just me and my boy.

Reply

45 Tina January 16, 2009 at 3:31 pm

How beautiful and sad at the same time :( I really wish someone could have taken some pictures for you.

Reply

46 susieshomemade January 16, 2009 at 3:37 pm

What a darling post.

Reply

47 Carrie January 16, 2009 at 3:37 pm

I must be a sap because I am crying. My daughter is almost 5 months and I dread the day.

Reply

48 Laura W January 16, 2009 at 3:52 pm

*sigh* I am struggling right now because I have to start a medication for my eyes that I don’t think I can nurse while taking. I am stalling the medicine that I badly need since I’m not ready to wean my 5 month old. :( Not fair choices. Sniff. Very well put.

Reply

49 Casey January 16, 2009 at 4:07 pm

What a beautiful post. I’m so sorry that you had to make such a hard choice before you were ready.

Reply

50 Stephanie V January 16, 2009 at 4:34 pm

Very little brings a tear down my cheek but your post just did. The time to wean my little boy is approaching too fast and mummy is having a hard time wrapping her mind around the concept. Sometimes we just can’t control what our body needs. I am currently putting off a dose of antibiotics my body needs because it is not compatible with breatfeeding. (long sigh) Wishing you long cuddles and many kisses from your little one!

Reply

51 molly January 16, 2009 at 4:35 pm

My last baby is now 17 mos old and I love how you described this experience. I was thinking about night-weaning but now think I will continue just to cherish these last moments I have with my final baby. After reading this it makes me sad to think of the last time we would share this. Thank you for putting my feelings into words!

Reply

52 Maria (Conversations with Moms) January 16, 2009 at 4:52 pm

Wow! Amazing. I never appreciated the night feedings until I saw it the way you see it in your eyes. It gives me motivation to go on as long as possible.

Good luck with your health. I am sure you will find many other ways to bond with your baby.

Reply

53 April E January 16, 2009 at 5:14 pm

I am in line with all of the others who has tears in thier eyes. The last time I nursed my daughter was Dec 31 She will be 2yrs old next week. And it is still breaking my heart, I could have nursed her easily for another 6 months. But my husband and his family said I had to stop, and she was not sleeping well due to dependance. When I became engorged I felt like my body was torturing me for not giving my baby the one thing she wanted most. She is now sleeping through the night but she still asks to kiss the Lechia(as she calls them)every once in awhile. I am still heartbroken and I hope it will heal over time. I have a few pics but I know if I look at them I will start to cry agian. I was not ready, but my little girl is growing up and I am so proud of her. Thanks for the post.

Reply

54 Dara January 16, 2009 at 5:16 pm

Wow…it’s been a long time for me (my baby girl’s almost a teenager), but your post took me right back.

I miss those sweet baby days — night feedings and all!

Reply

55 Amys Blah, Blah, Blogging January 16, 2009 at 6:23 pm

Oh, goodness, I suppose I needed a good cry today. I know exactly how you feel as I felt that way with my first daughter. I didn’t really want to wean yet but I wanted to start ovulating again so I gave it up at 14 months. It was so hard as I loved that time together with her. Now I have it again with my one month old and, what a joy it is. Just such an intimacy that can’t be had any other way. It’s lovely.

Reply

56 punkinmama January 16, 2009 at 6:29 pm

Sweet, sweet post. Thank you for sharing.

Reply

57 Musings of a Housewife January 16, 2009 at 6:32 pm

16 months is GREAT. I weaned my last at 15. It was the earliest I weaned any of them. It was hard, but it was time. I sympathize with your agony. It is the end of an era, for sure. ((HUG))

Reply

58 Shannon H January 16, 2009 at 6:47 pm

I had to wean my son earlier than I’d planned to, so I related to this post very much. Thanks for sharing. (((HUGS)))

Reply

59 oh amanda January 16, 2009 at 7:07 pm

Beautiful post! I’ve got tears in my eyes. Praying this process is easier than you think and your body bounces back!

a

Reply

60 Renee January 16, 2009 at 7:33 pm

oh this is the sweetest post ever!!!1 you made me cry

Reply

61 crystal January 16, 2009 at 7:42 pm

I am crying my eyes out. That was beautiful. It brought back so many memories of my babies and the special times we had. I wish I had known you wanted pics, I would have been there for you.
You have entered a new stage with little sweet Olivia and you will cherish this as you did that. Every moment is a blessing, even the times you think it isn’t. Olivia and you have a special mother daughter bond that no one can take from you:)

Reply

62 Heather January 16, 2009 at 9:17 pm

Simply beautiful. Your last line did me in.

Reply

63 Angie January 16, 2009 at 10:04 pm

Oh, Janice. I am sitting here with tears streaming down my face. That was so beautifully written. I have a 3 month old who refuses to take a bottle. While sometimes I wish I could get a break, I secretly love that he wants only me. He is my last baby, and I want to enjoy every single second I have nursing him. Thank you for sharing such a beautiful post with us. You should print it out and place it in your baby’s Baby Book. In the years to come, I know it will become incredibly special to her.

Reply

64 Phyllis January 16, 2009 at 10:49 pm

So sweet…Made me wish (only for a very split second though) for another baby.

Then I remembered potty training. Thanks, I’ll pass.

Reply

65 DesignHER Momma January 16, 2009 at 11:07 pm

I feel so many people have said this to you already…but this is just beautiful, I and I feel your pain. That why we are all still friends right

Reply

66 Lisa January 16, 2009 at 11:08 pm

Oh my goodness, the tears! I’ve been battling over weaning my newly 2 year old, since I’m tandem feeding her and my 3 month old son. This hit me hard!

Reply

67 Finestbabygifts January 16, 2009 at 11:17 pm

I weaned my son off when he was 14 months and I was so not ready to do it. He is 19 months now and I still miss it with all my heart. I know we will learn to bond in other ways as you mentioned, but thats one of the first bonds a mother has with her child. I hope you feel better soon..and thank you for sharing this post with us. It was very touching..

Reply

68 Dominique January 16, 2009 at 11:17 pm

My 2nd son is 24mths and I am still in the process of weaning him. I really enjoy the bonding through breastfeeding him but it is time to move on so we can start planning for #3.

Reply

69 Erin January 16, 2009 at 11:25 pm

I weaned my son at 14 months, because I was pregnant with number two and having a lot of contractions. I knew it was time. And I DID take a few pictures, just for myself. Every once in awhile when he is sad and I’m rocking him I wish I could still nurse him and make it all better!

Reply

70 Carla January 16, 2009 at 11:34 pm

I’ve got tears dripping down my face! I’m still nursing DD & am 23 wks pregnant. Thinking about the day she will wean makes my heart quiver. And you are so right when you say how great it would be to have a photographer around for those intimate moments. I don’t have a single BFing shot w/DD. I think it’s time to change that. Thank u for sharing this w/us.

Reply

71 Lisa January 16, 2009 at 11:41 pm

Thank you for sharing, that was beautiful.

Reply

72 Carrie January 16, 2009 at 11:42 pm

This was a really sweet post.

I wanted to mention for the benefit of others who may be reading this, that antibiotics are not appropriate for mastitis and probably led to a yeast infection.

In fact I suspect that what is really going on with you is a yeast infection of the breast, not mastitis at all, which is quite common when a nursing mom takes antibitics, and is not going to go away now that you have weaned. Yeast can be a real bear but can be treated successfully.

Reply

73 Antonette January 17, 2009 at 12:14 am

Ahhh, I had to wean when my son was two due to antibiotics I was taking. (not related to mastitis) I loved the late night feedings as well. My little guy would make fists and hold them under his chin when he nursed. I only have a few pictures of his face while nursing, but I have ones of his crossed feet and other parts of him that are especially dear to me. It’s one of the things I miss the most about that time, since he’s definitely NOT a cuddler now. Thanks for sharing. I may have to post about this now…

Reply

74 Christy January 17, 2009 at 12:32 am

I made it through the post, but couldn’t see by the time I hit the comments, so those I left unread (fumbling through leaving a comment). My favorite newborn moments of my son were those when I nursed him. There was a lot I didn’t know, there were concerns about supply, the doctor suggested supplementing and no matter how much I wanted it to go longer, we were completely through by 5 months, even though leading up to that was getting less and less often. Thankfully, I know more now and will fight harder for a nursing relationship if/when we have another child. Those were such precious moments.

The amount of time, though less than you hoped for, was still very awesome. Your words to your daughter, from your heart, were so sweet and touching. I cried at the rawness and the strength of that love between mother and child. And I cried remembering as the nursing relationship I had with my son slipped away.

Thank you so much for sharing such beautiful, yet heart rendering emotions. Consider yourself hugged. :)

Reply

75 Fit Mommy January 17, 2009 at 12:43 am

Wonderful. So true. We all feel that way, just haven’t expressed it.

Reply

76 Damselfly January 17, 2009 at 1:15 am

Aw, I’m sorry recurring mastitis is bringing an end to something so beautiful for you. I know how heart-wrenching weaning can be. Blessings to you….

Reply

77 Heather January 17, 2009 at 1:28 am

This whole post was just lovely. But it was that last line that brought on the tears.

Reply

78 Cheryl January 17, 2009 at 1:36 am

Aw, your post inspired me to keep breastfeeding my son a little longer. Soon he will grow big and strong and I know its because of the wonderful start I gave him. I love the closeness we have, but I do not like the pumping! Good luck to you, I know this is a difficult time.

Reply

79 Billy January 17, 2009 at 3:59 am

:’(

Reply

80 Amy January 17, 2009 at 7:12 am

aww this made me cry. I’m nursing my two year old right now and know, as I’ve known for a while that its time. I get horrible migraines and in order to function during the day as my husband works nights I need to start the beta blocker and the Effexor. I put it off for years before I conceived, hating the idea of any medicine building itself up in my system, eating away at my liver. I was about to give in when my little miracle arrived on the scene…and I don’t have time for natural remedies, or laying down in a dark room…as my biggest triggers are scent, changes in air pressure and light disturbances, its difficult to avoid triggers…

It was hard for me to start nursing – the first like seven or eight months it felt more like broken glass was being passed then milk but, like you, I knew it was best for him, and bonding for us both. I tell myself now, there will be other opportunities to bond, other ways to sooth away pain or stress…

Reply

81 Heidi January 17, 2009 at 10:33 am

What an amazingly sweet post. I was a bit sad when my oldest weaned, but I knew that I was allowing for him to do so in his own time instead of some standard set by others, and that really is my preferred way of weaning. I was not as happy to have to cut my younger son off so early, just because pumping was so difficult.

That being said, I am very happy that there are good formulas out there to fall back on.

Reply

82 lipsticktocrayons January 17, 2009 at 10:38 am

Now I’m bawling. It’s so bittersweet, isn’t? I weaned my 4th baby the week before my hysterectomy. I knew she was the last baby I would have and that would be the last time I would ever have that experience.

Reply

83 Peanut Butter and Jelly Boats January 17, 2009 at 11:07 am

Ugh, I’ve been thinking about weaning my little one lately. It’s a tough decision. And by tough I mean rip your heart out gut wrenching. Great Post!

Reply

84 The Gang's All Here! January 17, 2009 at 11:52 am

Love this post. I felt the same way each time one of my kids weaned themselves. I could feel it happening, and I kept grasping at the air trying to pull it back to no avail. But your words are so true – each child comes wired for their own fave method of bonding and attaching that can become your “thing” together. For some it’s story time, others it’s cuddle time, etc. The challenge and the intrigue of parenting is figuring out what ministers the most to each child!

Reply

85 Angela Anderson January 17, 2009 at 12:32 pm

That was incredibly beautiful, my breasts are aching and longing for that special bond again, my youngest is now 8 and I weened him 7 years ago. I am so touched by the sentiments you share with your sweet little one, I hope you are doing a scrapbook page with that in it. I wish that I wouldve been a scrapbooker back then……

I keep a journal to my children though, I have a journal for each of them, where I document my thoughts and tell them stories behind the scenes, things that I dont want them to know now, but would be good for them to know later, when they are older, when they can fully comprehend the choices that we sometimes have to make as parents.

Reply

86 Sarah C. January 17, 2009 at 3:18 pm

Thank you so much for sharing! With or without a photograph, you will always have those beautiful images, and that special feeling of together time when it feels like it’s only you two in the world. I loved that time, and I feel lucky and honored that I’m about to embark on another nursing relationship. Best wishes to you as you navigate the next great stage in your relationship with baby!

Reply

87 willowsprite January 17, 2009 at 5:03 pm

Oh, you just made me cry…

Reply

88 Kristen January 17, 2009 at 11:03 pm

You made me cry! We are getting ready to wean my almost 2 year old was we start making way for #2. I am so saddened by the end of this special time together.

Reply

89 Amy (from Gracobaby) January 17, 2009 at 11:29 pm

What a wonderful post. I stopped breastfeeding back in September and had almost forgotten how much I enjoyed it. I think I’m going to go up and stare at my little girl sleeping right now :-)

Reply

90 Grace January 18, 2009 at 12:40 am

I had a hard time weaning when my daughter was 20 months old. She would wake up in the middle of the night, touch my breasts, bury her face on them and sob. It was heartbreaking for me but I almost lost a nipple when she bit me (while she was sleeping, dreaming maybe) so that was the deciding factor to wean!

Reply

91 Grace January 18, 2009 at 12:41 am

I forgot to say, the post is very sweet. All the best to you Janice.

Reply

92 Madeleine January 18, 2009 at 10:54 pm

You write beautifully, Janice.

I also love the night feeds the most, and my daughter is also about to turn 16 months. :)

Sorry to hear you have to stop nursing due to mastitis. But what a fantastic job you’ve done.

The beautiful description of your daughter nursing IS the memory you’ll never lose. It’s more powerful and indelible than any photograph.

Your post relates to something I just wrote on my blog about the normalcy of so-called “extended breastfeeding.” Would it be OK with you if I reproduced your post on my blog?

Thanks Janice, and I hope to hear from you!

Reply

93 Rebecca C January 19, 2009 at 5:24 am

This made me burst into tears :( My daughter weaned about a year ago. I didn’t even know it was the last time, she decided she was done. It just came along and I realized she hadn’t nursed for a day, then a week, then two weeks, etc.

It broke my heart because it always was our special time.

Reply

94 Bess January 19, 2009 at 10:42 pm

Wow…I’m sitting here with tears in my eyes. :( I felt the same exact way when I weaned my daughter 2 years ago. It was like the end of something so meaningful, so big…as if you were saying goodbye. I know it sounds cliche, but they truly grow up waaay to fast.

Reply

95 tanyetta January 20, 2009 at 11:14 pm

so sweet! so so sweet!

Reply

96 Grace January 21, 2009 at 12:13 am

Sometimes I’m a little slow at catching up on some blogs… I found this post today about weaning. It tugged at my heart. It’s been 9 years since I’ve nursed… the last baby stopped on her own… before I was ready. Ah… but what wonderful memories.

Reply

97 Belinda A. January 21, 2009 at 1:12 am

So beautifully written:) I reluctantly weaned my daughter at 21 months, but I know that if I had struggled with 7 bouts of mastitis she would have been weaned a whole lot sooner – you are a trooper!

Reply

98 Melissa January 21, 2009 at 8:42 pm

I haven’t read any of the above comments so I apologize if I’m repeating what others before me said-
I had to let you know that I was brought to tears reading this post. I too have had a few bouts of mastitis this go around so I can feel your pain. I hope that your pain subsides very soon.

Reply

99 Michelle Wyson January 24, 2009 at 1:19 am

That was beautiful. I’m just now starting to wean my baby, and that is exactly how I feel.

Reply

100 Stephanie January 27, 2009 at 6:37 pm

Absolutely beautiful. Exquisitely written. I remember wishing that someone was on-hand to photograph that last feeding as well. There’s something so bittersweet about the end of breastfeeding. In many ways, it signals the beginning of so many other things…

Reply

101 Steph February 3, 2009 at 9:23 am

Maybe it’s the extra hormones, but oh did this sweet post make me cry! My daughter and I are down to night feedings, and I am so going to miss the sweet cuddles when the time to wean comes. You are so right, though, they will be replaced with different loves and cuddles. So glad you got some last photos, sweet memories!

Hugs,
Steph

Reply

102 Sarah March 20, 2009 at 4:40 pm

I am sitting here with tears streaming down my face. As both a mom who breastfed my children and an IBCLC, I commend you for 16 months well spent. Congrats!

Reply

103 Jo March 20, 2009 at 11:40 pm

This was so beautiful…you had me in tears halfway through! I’m on the verge of weaning my almost one-year old boy. I’ve gone through nights where I was so done with night nursing, but at the same time my heart ached at the thought of never having those moments with him again. My little one crosses his feet too. :o)
Congratulations on successfully breastfeeding for 16 months. You should be so proud!

Reply

104 amber greene March 23, 2009 at 11:10 am

what a very pretty touching post!

Reply

105 Holly March 28, 2009 at 9:22 pm

You wrote the words that I have in my heart and my mind. I’m weaning my daughter from her last nursing session in a few weeks and although I look forward to it, I dread it at the same time. Your post had me sobbing, relating to each sentence you wrote. Thank you for sharing.

Reply

106 turnitupmom April 3, 2009 at 1:32 pm

I love how you wrote this to your daughter. It inspires me to do the same. It will be an amazing gift for her to read someday.

Reply

107 Lara April 8, 2009 at 9:35 pm

I am crying crying crying.. this is so sweet thank you for sharing your thoughts

Reply

108 AshAllman April 15, 2009 at 8:58 pm

Just read this, after the recent breastfeeding post. Brought tears to my eyes–very beautiful. And, I can relate on the recurring mastitis – kudos for your dedication.

Reply

109 kristin April 16, 2009 at 2:19 am

I’m in tears, seriously what a great reflection.

Reply

110 Dina April 16, 2009 at 2:35 pm

This is perhaps the sweetest thing I’ve read in a long time.

I feel the same way, though I have had it really easy. And, when my son finally gives it up, I will be heartbroken. It really is that special.

Reply

111 Erna April 18, 2009 at 9:56 am

Tears well in my eyes over this post. I’m still nursing my 16-month old and while I sometimes wish to wean him my tears show I’m not all that ready for it whether it be day or night weaning. I weaned earlier with my oldest but maybe I’m lingering more in case he’s my last.

Reply

112 Trish April 29, 2009 at 9:33 am

As a nursing mom, reading this made me cry. I had some mastitis when I nursed my twins but was able to continue until they were 20 months. I’m at 12 months with baby #3 and I HATE that people ask and assume that I should stop now. I have only this small window of time that I can give this to her, a gift of good health and it means the world to me to care for her through nursing. I feel your sadness in ending that phase. I know it must be hard but the infections are bad. It’s like having the flu and painful. You did a great wonderful thing for 16 months ;)

Reply

113 Angela May 7, 2009 at 11:29 pm

Wow, this made tears stream down my face. I am nursing my fourth and probably final baby. He is 4 months old, I dread the day…

Reply

114 Sunshyne w/ Slingsmart May 10, 2009 at 1:14 am

I actually got choked up…my first is 3 yrs old and my current has quickly grown to 8 months…weaning comes too soon.

Reply

115 Theresa Walsh Giarrusso May 12, 2009 at 2:40 pm

OH that is so sweet. I am crying!! I nursed all three on mine about 18 months each and I was so sad to wean them. It was such a special bond, a special time. It is amazing that our milk can help the grow so big and strong! I did have photos taken of me nursing my son. A friend from college is a professional photographer and he came to the house to take picture of the whole family after my son was born. His wife was a big nurser so I knew he would be comfortable with it and he took the most beautiful photos of my son nursing in the sunlight in our big rocker. I am very glad I have those images forever.

I am a big attachment parenting person. I totally believe in the nursing, wearing and co-sleeping. I talk a lot about it on my mom blog in Atlanta but don’t have that many supporters there. The breastfeeding really seems to get people rankled! It can be such a divider among moms. Come see what the ladies in Atlanta are talking about at blogs.ajc.com/momania. They’re usually pretty feisty!

Reply

116 SavingQueen_com May 13, 2009 at 2:06 am

That was a beautiful poem. I nursed my sons until they were 13 and 17 months old. It is very hard emotionally to wean.

Maria
SavingQueen.com

Reply

117 Deepti May 15, 2009 at 9:32 am

That was so touching and one of the nest posts I have ever read. My little one is 11 months old and am on the process od weaning her off…This just reminded me to take few pictures cos the feeling of a life at ur bosom is something only a mom can feel and understand..its a bond which develops deep in the womb and follows throughout.. Warm regards :)

Reply

118 Anita June 22, 2009 at 12:33 pm

I love reading these previous comments — we’re all teary together! That was so beautiful. My little girl also loves holding my hair while she nurses. I will miss it.

Reply

119 Amy June 28, 2009 at 11:31 pm

Thank you for sharing that beautiful testimony of ‘the way it is’. I cried through the whole thing and several of the replies…in fact my LAP is even wet as well as everything inbetween…my #8 just weaned this week (and his favorite side is aching right now, wishing for some relief) I miss it more now that I have read a post like that…and my tears are also from the realization that this could be the last time I will nurse…maybe we are not ready…I pray for wisdom to know God’s best for baby. Again, thanks for the good cry!

Reply

120 Rhonda Brand August 21, 2009 at 4:00 pm

I had to wean at 3 months due to an RA diagnosis, so I know what you mean. Instead of turly enjoying the last feeding, I tried to take my own pictures. They are precious to me.

Reply

121 sandra September 23, 2009 at 10:01 am

your story’s just made me cry. I have started to night wean my 16 months old litle girl as well, as I need to start ovulating again and am 42, clock ticking and we want to give her a little brother or sister. It’s so hard, I keep remember all those months of asked for and happily given feedings. Keep telling myself there will be other ways, and I still have the morning and the evening feeds, hopefully it will be enough. But you’re right, there will be other things, there is other things already, love always finds a way.

Reply

122 Wani October 19, 2009 at 3:38 pm

That’s beautiful. It makes me look forward to another nursing experience as I am expecting my third in the spring.

Reply

123 Lauren November 19, 2009 at 3:12 am

Oh, I just came to your blog and clicked on this title, and it’s so beautiful and sad! You’ve so sweetly described the welcome you get when you go to your baby in the night. You did a remarkable job of keeping breastfeeding in the midst of challenges and weaning gently. I can’t even think about weaning right now — I just get too emotional about it! — but I like to hear beautiful stories like this one. Thank you!

Reply

124 tara December 18, 2009 at 11:52 pm

So beautiful **sniff, sniff. I’m in the process of weaning also, we still night nurse. I think she will be my last baby, so its so hard to end this special time. Thanks for sharing.

Reply

125 Alexandra February 15, 2010 at 4:43 pm

beautiful post! I felt the same way weaning my son. I try to remember even now the last time we nursed and can’t remember. It was all of a sudden a thing of the past. Hopefully with my daughter I can be more aware. Although right now she is only 6 months old so it feels like we will never stop ;)

Reply

Leave a Comment

CommentLuv badge

Previous post:

Next post: