This week I am featuring a post submitted by Karon Goodman who blogs at Receiving Grace, Reflecting God. Karon is a writer, speaker and “more-gray-hair-than-I-want” mom in Alabama. Her blog is an outlet for her to share about grace in all aspects of our lives, including motherhood.
When he was a toddler climbing out of his bed, I was there to steady the descent. When he was eight and swinging from a tree limb, I was there with outstretched arms just in case. When I talked to him the other day, I was powerless in my pajamas miles and miles away.
I’ve learned that age — his or mine — has nothing to do with overcoming that need to wrap and rescue. My son will graduate from college in a few weeks, and if he doesn’t drop any more unexpected words on me, maybe I’ll be there to see it.
I try not to bother him and call very often. You know how it is. Usually it takes fifteen calls from me before he finally — miracle of miracles — answers, or wisdom prevails and he returns the call. He called me back almost instantly the other day. Oh goody! I thought when his name showed up on the little square screen. He must have been thinking about me.
“Hey, whatcha doin’?” I ask so simply.
And with just as much fanfare, he replies, “Uh, we’re just doing this sky-diving thing.”
Exxx–cuuuuse me, what did he say??
“Hmmm, that sounds . . . safe,” I hear the words coming out of my mouth and see all sorts of unsavory visions in my head.
It’s a school thing, he says, no big deal. I hear clanging metal and whishing wind but choose to focus on his benign explanation. He’s gotta go, will see me sometime, love you too, bye.
I’m left to imagine in my jammies, praying God’s watching where I can’t see, ready to soften his landing from any stumbles that come his way. Today those stumbles, I fear, are more often emotional than physical as he navigates the landmine path of young adulthood, far out of my let-me-do-this-for-you reach. My plea for God’s presence, protection and guidance for him is a continuous one. It’s often all I can do.
God must have set aside oodles of motherhood grace, because it’s a deep and daily need for me as I wonder what my son will have to graduate from for me to easily release my grasp. I can’t come up with an answer. Maybe the Father who loves me so understands and reaches for me a little quicker when the “sky-diving things” come upon me too, unable to completely let me go, desperate to guide my landing.
I’ll hold on to that, and remind my son he can always hold on to me.
~ Written by Karon Goodman of Receiving Grace, Reflecting God.
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