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Every parent wants their children to do well at school… and we also hope they will enjoy school. But what if your child HATES school?
I’ll tell you what — life becomes very difficult and emotional for you and your child.
My oldest daughter is 10 years old.
And yes, she HATES school.
It’s heartbreaking to watch and exhausting to experience.
I’m not an expert, but I’d assume there are many reasons kids don’t like school and it ranges from mild dislike to extreme hatred and anxiety. But there are two very clear and logical reasons some kids don’t want to go to school.
Two Possible Reasons Why a Child Hates School
Obviously, one major reason would be bullying. If a child is being bullied, that’s got to be the most powerful force to make a child fear and hate school.
Then, there’s the other major reason… they struggle academically possibly because of learning differences or ADHD.
Both of these situations are brutal for children and parents.
My daughter is part of the second group. She hates school because she has ADHD and struggles to pay attention and learn through the typical teaching methods at school.
It breaks my heart because I know that if I had the money to send her to some type of specialized private school that could teach her the way she needs to learn that she’d likely flourish and perhaps even love school.
But I don’t have any means to replace her public education.
Homeschooling isn’t a good option for us… I’m not confident I can teach her since I struggle to even help her with homework and I’m a single mom who needs to work during the day to support us.
Some parents can successfully homeschool in these situations, but what are the rest of us to do?
There aren’t any easy answers, but I’m still going to ask…
- Do you have any experience as a parent or an educator helping kids who hate school?
- Have you blogged about this before? I’d love to read your posts.
- Have you shared your journey? It helps to know we’re not alone.
- Do you have resources or ideas?
I know each child’s situation is unique, but I’m hoping we can pull together a variety of resources to help parents like myself who are struggling with how to help our kids better enjoy and learn at school.
In our particular case, my daughter has been getting learning assistance at school for the last few years, but it’s not helping enough. While she is at a very good public school and has had nice teachers, for which I’m grateful, it’s still not enough.
I need to find more ways to help her at home and to encourage her.
Please leave me your comments…
I will review and then update this post with ideas that I find so that other parents can also find help for their children.
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Written by Susan Carraretto, co-founder of 5 Minutes for Mom
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Maureen @Raising The Capable Student says
First, don’t assume that you can’t afford private school. The best private schools are usually in a position to offer financial aid. It can’t hurt to meet with a school and ask questions, and you could be pleasantly surprised.
Second, if you do have a private school in your area that specializes in students with ADHD, then I would go there and ask for tutor recommendations from them. A tutor who works at an excellent private school will at least give your daughter a different perspective and the specialized help she needs part of the time. That same specialized private school probably offers excellent summer camps for students like your daughter, and this is another way you can give your daughter some special help and a different perspective about school for a fraction of the cost of sending her to private school during the school year.
Finally, you are not alone. Many parents are frustrated with how their kids are doing in school, and either don’t know how to help or feel overwhelmed at the prospect. I am a mom who is also a tutor and a school librarian. I started my blog http://www.thecapablestudent.com/ because I realized that I was treating the students I tutored better than I was treating my own kids at homework time. My blog shows how I went from being a homework nag to my kids tutor and restored our happy family life in the process. I hope you will come visit me there.
Best of luck to you and your daughter.
Kim says
If your child hates school you must listen to your child and take them seriously! Depending on their age they may not even fully understand themselves but no child naturally hates school. Do not be embarrassed to ask questions of your child’s teachers and principal. Demand as many meetings and reports as you want until you feel satisfied you have an answer and direction. If you don’t get anywhere take it to the Board of Education or you schools Superintendent. Seriously. You are your child’s advocate and you should never apologize of feel badly. Education has changed and we as parents must be fully aware of what is going on in today’s classrooms.
Yolanda Coleman says
This post resonated with me so much. As an educator, founder & educational director of Team Tutor. I speak with so many parents that deal with this very issue. It is so sad to see any child struggling in school no matter the reason. There are many things you can do to help support your child. I would suggest speaking with your child to learn exactly why they are feeling this way and learn what she likes about school (if any). You should also work with the classroom teacher and discuss ways to partner together in helping your child. Many students who struggle academically benefit from working with a tutor to help build their confidence, improve academic skills and to learn helpful learning strategies. Finding a tutor that understands your child’s learning needs and can connect with them is vitally important to the success of the tutor- student partnership. If hiring a tutor is not an option, there are many ways that you can motivate and help find the passion for learning. I offer free resources on my blog (www.yourteamtutor.com/blog) to help empower parents to support their children. I wish you luck and hope your child finds the joy and passion for learning and school.