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*** Monthly Feature Column ***
Positively Speaking
Building Assets in your Kids
Soccer Sidelines — Set a Good Example
by Kelly Curtis.
Soccer season is here and with it comes mega-miles in minivans, and busy nights at practices and games. Many soccer leagues offer opportunities for experienced players to assist in lower level tournaments. It’s also a chance for parents to role model positive sideline behavior.
Search Institute has identified “Adult Role Models” as one of the 40 Developmental Assets, which means research shows it’s a characteristic of healthy, caring, resilient kids. The more assets youth have, the more likely they’ll resist risky behaviors in the future. Search defines “Adult Role Models” as: “Parents and other adults in the child’s family, as well as nonfamily adults, model positive, responsible behavior.”
Youth soccer games are critical places for adults to demonstrate positive behavior, like respectful interaction, support of players, and appreciation for adult coaches and referees. There are many other adults and youth in attendance, and they can learn from us. Yet in the excitement of the game, many parents do the exact opposite.
To address this, the Mid New Jersey Youth Soccer Association created a program called “S.A.G.E.” — an acronym for “Set A Good Example.” The program includes a sportsmanship pledge signed by players, parents and coaches. The pledge reminds all involved about the true purpose of youth sports — for kids to have fun! It also outlines expected sportsmanlike behavior. Signing the pledge is a condition of participation in the league. Here’s an excerpt:
“Whether I am a player or an adult, I will not be critical of players, referees, coaches or spectators. As an adult, I should know that failing to show respect for people who are doing the best they can sets a bad example for our children and can result in expulsion from the site, suspension from future attendance, and even barring a child from playing.”
We’re all guilty of getting wound up in the game once in a while, and sometimes we’re frustrated about the outcome or player performance. But we need to remember how loudly our actions speak. The way we interact with other parents, coaches and referees, as well as players on either side of the field, creates a climate.
So set a good example. Your kids will be glad you did.
Thanks for joining in to build assets in your kids! I look forward to seeing you again next month for Positively Speaking.
For more sportsmanship resources, please visit Kindness Counts.
by Kelly Curtis
Pass the Torch
Tammy :):):) says
I agree that some parents go overboard. However, even a good thing can be taken too far! When my twins were in soccer (a YMCA league) we were called to participate in a “Silent Saturday”. Apparently they couldn’t make the parents refrain from sad behavior, so they were just going to have everybody be quiet. It didn’t go over well and I don’t know that they adopted the practice. It just floored me that someone thought this would be a good idea.
Kristen says
I must say, with two boys that are heavily into sports, I do get so caught up in the emotion of their games. It takes everything I have, at times, to keep my tongue in check at those games. I just wish that the adult players at the professional level could act like role models for our kids.
Jennifer, Snapshot says
This is a great reminder. It’s always so easy to pick out those parents who are not enjoying the experience and not allowing their children to enjoy it either, but it’s not quite as easy to see when our own behaviors or attitudes are crossing the line.
Pass the Torch says
Thanks Janice! It’s a good reminder for myself as well. I want to be a good role model, so the websites I reference are great guides for anyone trying to set a good example.
Janice says
So true Kelly! It is so disappointing when parents let their emotions over a game ruin things for their kids and hurt others. Thanks for this post!