Rebecca from Mom’s Mustard Seeds has a fabulous parenting lesson for us all to help us teach our children to stop complaining.
So often, it is easy to fall into the complaining game.
Life never seems fair and the grass may always seem ‘greener’ on the other side. It’s easy to start complaining and thinking we don’t have things as well as others or think that other people are not doing what they are supposed to be doing. BUT, it is not a path we need to go down, nor is it a path we should encourage our children to follow.
What can you do, as a parent to help alleviate the…..complaining cycle.
Fight it…with every ounce that you have.
- First, don’t complain about a problem
- Identify an issue.
- Don’t leave it open-ended
- Identify a solution
- Do not leave the implementation of the solution up to another person or group
- Join in…and take part in that solution.
Here is an example:
A few days ago, I was on a nature walk with our children. Â We came upon an area that had been used as a ‘camping ground’. Â It was obvious someone had been there. Â The ground had remnants of a camp fire….and trash littered the ground. I made note of it…and admittedly,the first thing I wanted to do was complain about someone else not picking up their trash. But, I did not. Â I held my tongue, and waited. After a few minutes, one of my children noted the trash and how sad it was.
That opened the door….
“What can we do about it?” I asked
“Maybe we should call around and find out who did it”…. Â “Maybe we should post a picture”….
“Do you think…if they left it here, they would admit to it? Â Do you think they would feel ‘loved’ by us calling and asking or posting a picture?” Â I asked
“NO” was the response I received.
So, I asked again: Â “What can we do about it?”
“I have an idea, let’s set a good example and pick it up!” (be.still.my.mommy.heart) that was the answer I was looking for!
And so we did.
We picked up the trash and discussed how we can set a good example, not complain and not worry about whether or not anyone ever notices we made the right choice!
How are you teaching your children to do something, rather than sitting back and complaining about problems?
Rebecca is a child of God, married to the love of her life, and the mother of three children. She writes about faith, life, nutrition and homeschooling at Mom’s Mustard Seeds.
I missed the linky yesterday! Here’s mine: 5 Ways I Stay Organized Each Week: Weekly Review http://alifeinbalance.net/5-ways-stay-organized-week-weekly-review/
I have the complaining problem a lot with my 9 year old son. I suggest to him that he can find something good and positive in just about everything. It’s important that kids appreciate what they DO have.
Here is my tackle of the week:
http://outsidetheboxmom.com/2012/06/05/3-must-dos-at-the-end-of-the-school-year/
Really precious- Matilda my daughter is only 14 months so I have a small way to go before we have conversations 🙂 But I can’t wait to share moments like these. I tell my husband all the time she will learn what to do in life by watching so we need to make sure we set good examples for her to see- Great post.
Well said.
My daughter is 17 months old. I am putting this in my arsenal for when she’s a little bit older. For now, mama is going to work on the art of not complaining. It just drains energy and brain power that should be used for finding solutions.
Nicole,
Complaining is draining (oh my, that rhymed!) Look for solutions…it makes life much better!
Rebecca @MomsMustardSeeds did a great job with this article! I love that – I try to set an example for my children – and we are always out in nature so this is a terrific example for me to follow! thank you!
Kelli, Thank you!
Hope I’ll remember to say this when an opportunity arises with my son. He’s 2. But he understands a lot. We’re still tackling cleaning up his own messes!
OH, the best way to say it is to show it. I’m sure you are already showing him…just keep it up!
Here is my tackle of the week:
http://snailpacetransformations.com/2012/06/02/shopping-saturdaysgoodwill-part-2-the-dressing-room/
I also am finding the linky list not working. Here’s my link!
http://structureinanunstructuredlife.com/2012/06/05/my-old-blue-chair/
Great post. It’s so true that we need to give them an opportunity to do the right thing and by holding our tongue it makes it a lot easier.
Rebecca, I can completely relate to how life never seems fair and people don’t seem to be doing what they are supposed to do…ugh! I love how you came up with a solution, something tangible to show not that you are a better person, but how to make a situation better. Great post!
Theresa,exactly! No use in crying over spilled milk, grab a towel, clean it up and identify why it spilled. Then, move on!
Looks like the linky from last week is up instead. Thanks for hosting though. Here was what I was going to share.
http://bacontimewiththehungryhypo.blogspot.com/2012/06/large-teapot-ring-displayorganizer.html
A fun way to organize your rings or display them for craft shows.
Rebecca, I LOVE this post! I am also a big believer in not just complaining about a problem, but DOING something about it…that’s why we’re homeschooling 🙂 Excellent advice for passing this on to our children! Thanks!
Susan, Thank you! I do not believe in it, either. My thought is….if you have something to complain about, you have a great opportunity to do something to help others….and/or yourself!
I am not sure why the linky is closed? Here is my tackle:
http://susieshomemade.blogspot.com/2012/06/before-and-after.html
I am so honored to be the guest post today! Thank you! Now, to read through all of those amazing link-ups! Tons to share!