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I wish I could go back in time and never let my kids have sugar or drink juice. And start flossing their teeth as soon as they broke through!!!
Okay, I know that’s not practical and I likely never could have achieved it… but I do feel mad at myself that I was more slack with my second child than my first about sugar intake.
It’s so easy with your first born to limit sugar, TV and other evils of childhood. Julia barely tasted candy until she was almost a preschooler and thought the only thing on TV was Signing Time and the Wiggles.
But with the second, it’s not so easy to shelter them. And your will is broken… “Okay, fine… have a cookie for breakfast… just let me sleep another 5 minutes.”
I may be joking a little… but the truth is my second child ate far more sugar than my first. And she was also much more difficult when I was trying to brush and floss her teeth.
So I blame myself for her recent cavities and the headaches they’ve caused me.
Sophia is 6 years old and recently had to have 7 fillings and a baby crown! I can’t tell you how guilty I felt and how much I’ve beaten myself up over it. Since she’ll barely open her mouth at the dentist, we didn’t get far trying to have them fixed in the dental office. She had to have a general anaesthetic… and I was sooooo stressed out about it. But it went well, she got them filled and got her new “silver tooth”.
That was about a month ago.
And now we have more tooth drama… a major toothache!!! It started last week and she woke in the night crying in pain. I gave her Tylenol and she went back to sleep. The pain was gone the next day and I thought we were in the clear. We got her checked at the dentist, just to be safe, but all looked okay.
But it wasn’t. The pain came back the next day. Since it was the weekend, the doctor prescribed antibiotics and now we’ll be heading back to the dentist today for an X-Ray.
I’m so stressed out about this darn little tooth of hers and all the pain it’s causing her and the money it’s costing me!!!
I don’t know what will happen in today’s appointment… the drama of trying to even get the X-Ray will be brutal enough… I can’t imagine how they are going to fix whatever is wrong.
UPDATE: We just came home from the dentist… and basically are still in wait-and-see mode. Sophia wouldn’t stay still during the X-Ray, so we didn’t get a great picture – only part of the root was shown in the picture. The tooth doesn’t look infected from what the dentist could see, so she said to finish the antibiotics and see if it keeps hurting. We’re trying to avoid an extraction as it’s an important tooth and a spacer would need to be put in.
SECOND UPDATE: There was no choice. The tooth had to be extracted! She now has a spacer holding a spot for the new tooth.
So tell me, have you had a similar experience? Did your kids have cavities, crowns or toothaches? How did you handle it?
Justine says
Yup my son just had surgery today and 4 crowns. He’s almost six. I’ve never had crowns In my life I feel like a shit*** of a mother. I know the teeth will fall out sooner than later but still feeling awful
Susan says
Don’t feel bad… this really does happen to a lot of kids these days. It can be tough on us as moms.
Erin harrington says
Dealing tight now with my three year old. She nursed and a third child . I Fe so horrible. She’s having her teeth fixed right now.
Dr. Johnson says
I hope her teeth have been better since you wrote this! For what it’s worth, it’s not necessarily your fault – some kids just have “bad teeth” and will have tooth problems no matter how vigilant you are with brushing and their sugar intake. And judging by the fact that she needed 7 fillings, I would think this is probably the case!
Paul Thompson says
I am sorry to hear the story. I can only imagine how painful and distressing that is, for your daughter. But you don’t have to blame yourself for what happened. We all know that children love sweets, they really do. So I think, the only solution here is to train them with their brushing-teeth-assignment.
Richard says
We have been there before with our kids. Our first didn’t have any issues when it came to cavities or dental problems but our next too have both had cavities! I have a feeling the food must have changed over the years and now is much more harmful to young kids teeth. All we can do is keep up with their brushing and flossing and make sure we all visit our dentist at least two times a year.
Anna says
Oh I know exactly how you feel. We are not great about limiting sugars for either of our kids. They both had the same diet and habits with bottles & sippy cups as babies yet my son has had to have 7 fillings, 2 or 3 teeth extracted and spacers placed because his teeth were so bad.
Susan says
Isn’t it strange how kids’ teeth can be so different. Some kids just have such weak teeth. Funny thing is Janice and my teeth have been different from each other’s too. I’ve always had so many more cavities than Janice… I always joke that she stole all the calcium in the womb.
Linda Klonsky says
Ah, Susan. I know the trauma well – YOUR trauma! My daughter, at age 4 (yes, 4!) had to have 4 root canals and now, at the age of 9, has 6 silver crowns. She was “papoosed” (which is essentially a straight-jacket so that her arms & legs don’t flail) and she screamed & yelled and I cried and cried. In the midst of this, the dentist was angrily blaming ME because her teeth were so bad. We’ve since learned that all of the kids Lily was adopted with (she’s from China) have bad teeth because there was probably no prenatal care and the orphanages fed the kids rice milk which is low in calcium & high in sugar. Fortunately, she’s now drinking only fluoride water and her adult teeth are coming in MUCH better. But I remember the horror of those early dental visits & still get anxious whenever we have to go. My daughter, on the other hand, seems to have blocked the experiences out and how refers to going to the dentist as “relaxing.”
Susan says
Oh my goodness… that does sound terrible…. poor little tyke. And yes, it’s soooo hard on us moms. I know what you mean about the “papoose” – Sophia had that too but still refused to keep her mouth open.
Good to hear that her adult teeth are coming in better and that she seems to have forgotten the worst of it.
Sarah says
My son’s teeth are terrible. He broke the two front teeth almost as soon as he could walk, and chipped the two on either side. The front ones had to come out, and the other two are capped. He also ended up with a deep cavity that required a pulpotomy and a crown. Unbeknownst to me they put sealant on his bottom molars when they had him under fixing everything else, which now both have cavities blooming through the unnatural whiteness. Brushing his teeth was a screaming wrestling match the often ended with both if us in tears. The dentist wouldn’t ever actually admit that there is something wrong with his teeth (better to shame a mother who is doing everything she can, right?) but his doctor pediatrician says that he disagrees. I think perhaps medication and an overly restrictive diet affected how his teeth developed. Thanks for sharing your story. I really felt like I was alone!
Susan says
Oh my… what a difficult trial for you both!
I think you are likely right about the medication affecting his teeth. I’ve heard similar things before.
It’s brutal how much guilt we feel as mothers when things like this happen. But yes, the more I’ve talked to other parents about it, the better I feel.
Jennifer Donovan says
My son has all sorts of dental troubles, and yet he’s still a trooper! Because his mouth is so tiny and crowded, his baby teeth stopped falling out so his permanent teeth couldn’t come in. So when he was 7 1/2, he had 8 baby teeth pulled to make room!!
He just had his second filling put in last month, and we too had one of those baby crowns. I know for sure that I wasn’t as diligent with his teeth at all, and I also feel guilty. When my daughter was a preschooler, our water was fluoridated, and when he was a baby and preschooler, ours wasn’t, and I honestly didn’t think about it, but I think we’re paying the price now.
Susan says
Awwww… poor little guy! I also am a little worried that Sophia’s won’t fall out on schedule. So far she’s only lost her bottom front two and she’s almost 7.
Interesting about the difference in water. Ours is not flouridated either.
Jaimie says
I have been there! My oldest son has had 7 fillings and a mini root canal too. He had an infection a few months ago and the dentist said his tooth needed to be pulled and have a spacer put in. We took him for a 2nd opinion and that dentist said the same thing. He had the tooth pulled under general and felt everything – it was the hardest experience I have ever gone through with him. Next time (Lord willing it won’t happen again), we will definitely be putting him under. He was traumatized and so was I. I wish you guys the best and please keep us posted!
Susan says
Oh no Jaimie… yes, that’s likely what will end up happening to Sophia. We are still waiting to see if the extraction is going to be necessary… the dentist isn’t yet sure.
Lisa-The Domestic Life Stylist says
Thankfully I don’t have any experience with cavities with our children. They are still young though. We have been fortunate and started brushing and flossing from very early with our first. Our second only has 4 teeth so we wipe those and his gums with a clean washcloth. I had really bad experiences having several cavities, fillings and going to the dentist when I was a little girl. So bad that I told myself that I would try to do better when I became a parent. I hope that your daughter does well at her appointment today. Try to not beat yourself up with the “shoulda, woulda, couldas”. Make today a fresh and healthy start for your beautiful girls and their smiles will shine brightly.
Susan says
Thanks Lisa. Yes, we got much more careful with the girls – especially Sophia – after we found out about all the cavities. They both got a pretty big scare and take their teeth much more seriously.
olive says
may I know did she had her tooth remove? my son 6 is having the same problem. 3rd time taking antibiotics is no an answer. I am thinking to have it extract out.