This post may contain affiliate links. Read my disclosure policy here.
*** Monthly Feature Column ***
Positively Speaking
Building Assets in your Kids
by Kelly Curtis, M.S. from Pass the Torch
As I haul out from storage the shorts and tank tops I wore last summer, I’m acutely aware of the pounds I’ve accumulated since I wore them last. So when I was asked to review the teen book, Picture Perfect: What You Need to Feel Better About Your Body
, (giveaway here) I thought the timing was impeccable. If adults feel these insecurities, surely girls do as well – especially those in the midst of puberty and all the changes that go with it.
Search Institute has identified Self Esteem as one of the 40 Developmental Assets, which means research shows it’s a characteristic of healthy, caring, resilient kids. The more assets youth have, the more likely they’ll resist risky behaviors in the future.
Author Jill Zimmerman addresses the many self-conscious feelings experienced by preteen and teenage girls. Chapters are based on case studies from her work as a psychotherapist, and real conversations with girls learning to deal with body-image issues. She also offers suggestions for the self-talk that can help girls to redefine perfection and focus on what they like about themselves, rather than focusing on the flaws that are simply a part of everyone’s life.
She encourages girls to create their own personal statements that help themselves to refocus their thoughts toward purposeful and positive thinking. Some of the personal statements adopted by girls featured in the book include:
• One step at a time – I like my nails.
• I’m a creative chick, not a carbon copy.
• Size is just a number.
As mothers, identifying our own personal statements models the behavior for our daughters. My blog’s tagline states, “The better me I can be, the better mom I can be.” And seldom has this been truer than in consideration of this topic.
So what do you love about yourself? What’s your personal statement? I’ll start:
I have an eye for photography. And I like my nose.
Thanks for joining in to build assets in your kids! I look forward to seeing you again next month for Positively Speaking.
Kelly Curtis is a Wisconsin school counselor and author of Empowering Youth: How to Encourage Young Leaders to Do Great Things. To read more about Kelly, please visit her Weblog, Pass the Torch.
Kelly says
Excellent personal statement, Cathy!!
Cathy | Mommy Motivation says
I just read this post and saw the links to this monthly feature. This is soooo great. Now I have some reading to do! Although part of me is afraid of what I’ll find. I am not the mother that I thought I would be. And I hang my head in shame some days. Helpful advice is good. And small goals are good. But the guilt I don’t need. Anyway, I digress… what I’m good at?
To refocus my thoughts is usually the serenity prayer: in a quick version I’ll repeat like this (silently): Control what I can. Let go of what I can’t. God help! THat definitely helps redirect my thoughts. When I start to get down on myself, I often start to see – oh! I have my statement:
I can recognize my negative thinking, and sometimes even turn it around!
hoot! 🙂
Kelly says
Well done Kelly and Candeelady – it’s not so easy to give yourself kudos, is it!
Candeelady says
It’s hard for women to do this as they are always complimenting others. I use to have an awful time accepting a compliment without joking. I have to mentally concentrate to just say “thankyou”and enjoy the attention.
COME ON LADIES – YOU’VE EARNED SOME SELF CREDIT!!!
Candeelady says
I love my curly hair and I have nice calves and I love how creative I can be with home projects and kid crafts
Kelly's Krazy Kids says
I thought this would be easy, but it’s harder than I thought! Let me try…
I truly care for others, and I like my feet. 🙂
Kelly says
I love that personal statement, Jennifer! I’m always striving for balance, but still haven’t quite found the right mix.
Jennifer, Snapshot says
Good point. I’ve managed to escape body issues myself. I mean, I wished I looked better (and sometimes I think that a little self-loathing would motivate me to shed those eternal extra 5 lbs), so I think that’s a good thing about me.
I like your tagline. I agree. I’m good about taking time for myself as well, because I know it’s crucial for me. So my statement would be “I appreciate balance, and I’m good at maintaining it.”