Often it is easy – sometimes too easy.
But to a woman going through infertility or a miscarriage, becoming a Mom can be a cruel and elusive dream.
My twin sister Susan and I have both had our taste of the pain of infertility and loss. (Susan was infertile for three years before miraculously becoming pregnant with Julia. I got pregnant easily with Jackson, but since have had one miscarriage and I have not yet conceived again.)
When we started 5 Minutes for Mom we were acutely aware of the vast numbers of women who are excluded from this world of motherhood or who are struggling with miscarriages and secondary infertility.
In fact Susan wrote in this post, Mothers and Others Join Us:
“5 Minutes for Mom” is really for everyone… not just moms.
We want to give a HUGE welcome to all women (and men too) whether or not you have children.
We use the term “Mom” to include everyone who loves children and is interested in the types of things that generally interest moms.
We especially want to include moms-to-be and women struggling to become moms.
I had to wait over 3 years to finally become a mom and it hurt terribly to feel excluded from the club. For two of those years, I worked at home and was part of the work at home mom community. I called myself a “work at home mom-to-be full-time aunt”.
I found that all of the mom sites were very welcoming when I told them I wanted to join in the community even though I was not yet a mom.
So I understand that it can be hard when everyone uses the term “mom”. Please accept our apologies… we use the word “mom” because it is generally the easiest way to group together women who have many common interests.
But tonight I stumbled on this fantastic blog Stirrup Queens.
“For anyone who has ever had a miscarriage, struggled with pregnancy, and all things infertile… there is a movement upon us that you might want to join. It’s rather simple actually: a discreet ribbon on your right wrist to signal to others that they are not alone in their struggles.”
As Susan and I joyfully show off the two children God has given us (and prayerfully hope for more children in the future,) our thoughts and prayers go out to the many women who have not yet had the chance to be called “Mom.”
We hope that all those working on growing their families whether through treatments like IVF, gestational surrogacy, fostering, and/or adoption, that they’ll all be blessed with children to love.