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Earlier today, Susan posted about “What If Mommy Loses Her Temper.”
And in case any of you felt like you wanted to lose your temper (or burst in to tears) just reading about a mom who hadn’t yet yelled at her three year old, I thought I would chime in and make you feel better.
(That is one of the great things about reading a blog written by twins – you get two points of view.)
I must admit that I regularly lose my temper with my six year old son. I wish I could say I didn’t. I wish I could say that I have been able to hold it in and calmly and masterfully parent my monkey of a boy.
But I can’t. I raise my voice. I break my own rules. I mess up. Regularly.
Far too often, I have to say to my son, “I am sorry I got angry and raised my voice.”
It drives me crazy that I let my short fuse get the better of me. When I stay calm and make the right parenting moves everything runs so much more smoothly.
But you know what happens when Mommy loses her temper?
Mommy learns to have a whole lot more patience when her son loses his temper. Because if I can’t handle my emotions correctly all the time, (and I have had a lot of time to practice,) then how impossible is it for a little child to keep cool and collected when life doesn’t go his way.
Caroline says
Wow – that’s some wisdom. If we ‘big kids’ have trouble handling our emotions to the extent that we lose our temper with our precious children, how tough it must be for them, at whatever young age, to control theirs. I find when I try to think of why Lucy’s behaving the way she is it’s often much easier to deal with the, at times, unwanted behavior with parenting I can really feel great about.
Thanks for the inspiration. I’ll surely pass it on.
Caroline Rosengarden
Certified Life Coach
CarolineRosengarden.com
Carolyn says
I lost my temper WAY early with JJ and have been struggling with that a lot lately having my 3 under 3… I love that you say sorry… I think that is one of the most important things!
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Alexia says
I always said that I was going to be like my mom and not yell….yeah, didn’t happen. My first happened to be exactly.like.me which makes me lose my temper alot bc he stubbornly holds onto his opinion and I mine and he’s only two LOL
Maybe it’s the boy thing…perhaps they know how to get to our tempers faster!
Colleen says
It’s nice to hear I’m not the only one who struggles to keep her cool. I have a son too, and as hard as I try, sometimes I loose it and yell. But like you, I apologize afterward. As much as I wish I wouldn’t get angery, seeing mommy humble herself and apologize when when she makes a mistake is something he can learn from.
bethn says
I’m glad I’m not the only one who looses my cool. Just yesterday I had to appologize to my 6 yr old for yelling at him. I’m doing better, but I’m definitely still a work in progress.
Susan Callahan says
This raising your voice thing is huge and becomes such a vicious cycle for me. The big problem is – just wehn I think I have my self under control after raising my voice…I do it again the next day. And, then just when I make all these agreements and promises…I do it again. Clearly there is something deeper going on when I do raise my voice – it is surely not about the cheerios on the floor – I need to be able to tap into what is going on – before I lose my cool!
kelleythejewelrylady says
Everyone looses their cool….even the mommy!
We are not perfect. Its as good a lesson as never raising your voice. It shows that we make mistakes too…can apologize and learn to move on. It is a good lesson as well.
Christieo says
i wish i could say that i haven’t yelled at my 2 1/2 year old boy either but (feeling some shame here) i have. i must say that i don’t have to very often, but i do break and let that fuse get the better of me sometimes.
Nodins Nest says
How great is it that both parenting styles still work out in the end! Until he was three, I never felt pushed beyond my limit, but now it happens once or twice a day. My poor dog takes the brunt of it and he’s a very good sport!
Stephanie says
How nice that we get to hear from both of you on this topic. It’s refreshing to get two different perspectives…
Adventures In Babywearing says
I raise my voice far too often…
Steph
We are THAT family says
I think I relate more to yours. I have a twin blogging sister too and I’ll have to ask her which one she relates to more. We usually have *different* opinions!
Nicole says
Boys x 3 = me REGULARLY loosing my temper or freaking out (although sometimes when Im yelling it is to be heard over the decibels of boyhood). But I have found that it isn’t as important IF I loose my temper but to apologize when I DO loose my temper. I think you are so right. Kids are so forgiving and they don’t need to think you’re perfect, they just need to see that you do your best and love them. That’s real relationship… That’s my two cents! 🙂
Kara says
Oh good, if you’d said you have never lost your temper too, I’d really feel like a horrible mom lol. And it really makes me stop and think about my own temper when my little one gets mad at me for something.
Dawn says
Good point!