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*** Monthly Feature Column ***
Positively Speaking
Building Assets in your Kids
July – Commitment to Learning
by Kelly Curtis.
“Is Whirlpool a good brand?”
“Is it made in China?”
“Do all things made in China have to be plastic?”
“What is plastic made out of?”
And so goes round 385 of my eight-year-old son asking me questions. This happens every day of his life – and mine. But moments before I Google automatic question-answering robot in search of some sort of relief, I’m reminded that just as the Socratic method utilizes questioning to teach, my son uses it to learn.
Search Institute has identified “Commitment to learning” as one of the eight Developmental Asset categories, which means research shows it’s a characteristic of healthy, caring, resilient kids. The more assets youth have, the more likely they’ll resist risky behaviors in the future. Commitment to learning is defined as developing a lifelong commitment to education and learning.
Young children have a natural tendency toward learning, and they accomplish it in very simple ways. Although the “Why” method that usually begins somewhere around age three may drive impatient parents to the brink of insanity, the elementary child usually branches out into the other question words — Who? What? When? Where? and How?
But have no fear — we needn’t actually answer the questions, in order for the child to learn. Simply responding with another question can be equally effective. For example, in absence of your rote knowledge of the number of krill eaten by a humpback whale in a month, a parent could answer, “Hmmmm, what do you think?” Helping the child to find answers to her or his own questions is a more useful skill anyway, and it demonstrates our own commitment to learning – possibly the greatest factor in a child’s continued interest.
In addition, make use of the resources available. Help her to find the answer in a dictionary, encyclopedia, Google, or Wikipedia (if you’re really desperate.) Better yet, for questions asked at a museum, or other field trip venue (we recently visited the Chicago Museum of Science and Industry), encourage her to ask a curator or volunteer. This is excellent assertiveness training, and your child will appreciate the fact that you’re learning right along with her.
Thanks for joining in to build assets in your kids! I look forward to seeing you again next month for Positively Speaking.
by Kelly Curtis
Pass the Torch
SusanGaille says
Yet another approach I confess to using with my kids is fighting back. That is, be sure to ask questions of your own! Not the “why didn’t you clean your room?” style of questions but the ones to encourage thought.
For instance, I asked my four-year-old son what his favourite word was and why. His answer “kitten, because it makes me feel all furry on the inside.” Or you could ask during the drive to school, “What other ways could we have come to school?”
melody is Slurping Life says
Teaching children HOW to learn is ultimately more important than WHAT they learn in my thinking. If they know how, they can teach themselves what they need to know throughout life.
Heidi says
Great column! I feel so wise, sometimes, when they find the answer on their own, yet think that I gave it to them, too!
Teaching how to think is so important.
My favorite question, still.. from 20+ years ago. My foster son brought me a handful of cotton batting. He asked “why is this in the phone?”
Karen says
Thanks for reminding me that I don’t have to have all the answers. My children 7,5,and 3 (thank goodness the littlest one can’t talk yet – she’s just turned 1) all ask LOTS of questions & on very different levels. I love helping my oldest look up things in the computer – we discover all kinds of neat stuff!
Pass the Torch says
Thank you all for your comments! I’m glad you enjoyed the column!
MorningSong says
Great info!! Sometimes it is the obvious answers that fail us! I LOVE asking the child ‘What do you think?’ I will DEFINITELY put that to use!! Thanks again! I enjoyed this column!
Jennifer, Snapshot says
I appreciate the positive spin on questions, because they can get irritating!! But I know that they are valuable, so I try not to get too irritated.
Jill says
This is a great column. I especially loved how you pointed out you don’t have to have all the answers, but that helping your child find the answers for himself is just as valuable. I’m all about helping my son learn to do things for himself and this is another great example of how I can do that. Thanks.