The Sampler – There’s Reality in My Motherhood

by Janice

sampler-main-180-pix.jpg5 Minutes for Mom brings you exclusive samplings from the best mom blogs…

Welcome to the first week of The Sampler. In case you missed our introduction to The Sampler last week, The Sampler is a new weekly column here at 5 Minutes for Mom.

Designed to showcase different mom bloggers and their writing style, each week The Sampler will feature an original post by a mom blogger so you can have a taste of what she has to offer. If it suits you, then click over to her blog and maybe even add her to your daily reads.

(If you would like to be one of our featured bloggers, please read The Sampler Guidelines. We will be featuring a variety of mom bloggers, both new and experienced. We are looking for unpublished, family-friendly content that represents your writing style.)

Hosting The Sampler, is Shera, from A Frog in My Soup. Shera will write occasional posts for The Sampler as well as manage and edit all submissions.

Today we are starting off the column with a post written by Shera. Hope you enjoy.

There’s Reality in My Motherhood

You remember the commercials “You got peanut butter on my chocolate” . . . Well, most of you remember the commercials, right???

I personally believe it is the best combination ever! But not all combinations seem very appealing at first. In fact, some seem downright disgusting! So, when I found reality getting all mixed up in my life as a mother and the ideals I had planned out for motherhood, I was not at all thrilled.

This was my life, my dream. I knew exactly what being a mother was all about and how great a mom I was going to be . . . until I had a baby!

I didn’t expect bonding with my first son to take several months, I thought it was automatic and there was something wrong with me. I didn’t expect that he would have moments where cuddling and rocking couldn’t calm his cries. I didn’t know that boys don’t always experience the terrible two’s until they are three! I didn’t know that twins actually equal more work than any of my other 4 children combined.

Three year old boys definitely have a very particular knack for letting you know all the things you never thought you’d need to know! It honestly never occurred to me that they would try to flush a shower puff down the toilet, or dump an entire bottle of contact solution down the drain, or be obsessed with filling everything up with water – not to mention the locations they decide should be “marked” territory, (but we won’t go there.)

There have been many times throughout my experience as a mom where I suddenly found myself with reality all over my ideals for motherhood. Such as, when I found out I was pregnant 6 months after having my second son, and again, many years later, when I found out I was pregnant with twins only a few months after we moved into a tiny little house with our already large family.

I know, I know, there’s clearly a pattern there, (and there are so many other examples,) but either way, as I look back I realize that I hadn’t learned yet that I needed to let go of my preconceived notions and listen for direction for each child’s care. I’m still not great at it.

So when reality gets a little overwhelming, I have a choice to make . . . panic and react, or pray and relax. There is a very significant difference between the two and the results of each choice I make are, frankly, very obvious.

My first baby is now a 12 year old young man and I still forget sometimes that I need to lean on God for direction! It’s too easy to try and solve it all myself, yet that never really works out! So, here I am 6 children later with reality all over my idea of motherhood, but learning more and more how to succeed each day . . . by letting go and enjoying the unusual combinations life gives me!

- Written by Shera from A Frog in my Soup

If you would like to be considered for The Sampler, please read The Sampler Guidelines.



Email Author    |    Website About Janice

Janice is co-founder of 5 Minutes For Mom. She's been working online since 2003 and is thankful her days are full of social media, writing and photography. You can see more of her photos at janicecrozephotography.com.

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{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Monica - Paper Bridges March 28, 2008 at 7:16 am

oh, boy, can I relate. I honestly thought I’d ruined my life during those first few weeks of first-time motherhood. Then we got into a groove and life was good again.

I once had a baby snapping turtle in my kitchen.

Yup, thanks to one of my boys.

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2 Amber Stevens March 28, 2008 at 8:21 am

Beautifully written. I also expecting bonding with my DD to take place immediately and it didn’t. I then felt like I had maybe made a mistake in choosing to become a mom…Then I felt horribly selfish and guilty for having these thoughts. But, thank God, these feelings didn’t last too long. He was the only one that I could confess them to. I felt like no one else would understand. How do people make if without Him?

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3 Tara March 28, 2008 at 10:42 am

that was great!

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4 Christine March 28, 2008 at 1:03 pm

I love that Shera. It’s so sweet…and why is it making me think about peanut butter cups? LOL! :)

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5 Becoming Me March 28, 2008 at 1:31 pm

Wonderful article Shera! I love it and so relate. I had such high hopes for motherhood and thought that I had to have been the very worst mother in the world soon after my daughter was born. I had high expectations of not only her but of myself. It wasn’t until recently that I learned that perfect and excellent are so very different. Thanks for the encouragement. I love your blog and love that you are hosting this great new section on 5m4m. Angela

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6 Susan March 28, 2008 at 2:02 pm

Shera, you are soooo right. Reality definitely seems to mess up all our picture perfect parenting plans. Sigh.

Thanks for the laugh and the inspiration!

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7 Pamela Kramer March 29, 2008 at 9:01 am

WOW What a cool idea! Great post Shera. :)

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8 Robin (the pensieve one) May 1, 2008 at 3:12 pm

Shera, I had to smile as I read this because I can so relate! SOOooo many of my words (and thoughts) came back to “haunt” me after my children were born. Oh! The best laid plans………..!

I hate to admit how many times I’ve panicked or reacted when I NEEDED to pray and (gulp) relax!

…until I had a baby (**snickers!**)

:)

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