Walking on Eggshells is a new book by Jane Isay exploring the delicate relationship between adult children and parents. Whether you are the child or the parent, there have probably been times when you felt like you were walking on eggshells in that relationship.
This book is primarily aimed at the parents of adult children, but the children can learn a lot about why we still react so strongly to a parent’s unsolicited advice or tone of voice.
The book is divided into chapters with stories from grown children and parents that will strike a chord with many in regards to
- distance created by stress or a misunderstanding
- the good and the bad of physical distance
- surviving the wounds of parental mistakes or children’s disappointing choices
- the added layer of in-law and step-relationships
Jane Isay is a keen observer of human nature, and her interviews of more than 75 parents, grandparents, and grown children helped her uncover the universal truth that these relationships are difficult for most people. But Isay is not just a detached analyst of events. Because she herself is the parent of grown children, seeking to learn and understand, she shares her personal insights and experiences throughout the book. She also inserts herself into the telling of each person’s story, which serves as connective tissue for the book.
Marty and Pete get along best when they are together in Montana. Here’s why.
“I’ve always been very interested in guns, but never had any. But as his place, you can sit out on the front porch and shoot,” Marty explains.
“And you love it,” I say.
“I love it, and he loves that I love it.”
Bingo. If there are words from a parent that characterize a solid relationship, it’s that sentence. Here’s a father and son whose values are diametrically opposed. But Marty loves sitting on the front porch with his son, shooting guns.
You can find out more about the book and the author at Jane Isay’s website. You can also sign up to be interviewed for her next book which explores adult siblings’ relationships.
If you’d like to win a copy of Walking on Eggshells for yourself (to possibly share and discuss with your parent or child), leave a comment here. The Reader’s Guide provides a great way to explore these issues with your peers, and possibly raise them with your parents or children.
We have up to five copies available. For the first 75 comments we get, we will give out three copies. If we get more than that, we’ll draw two more names. The winners will be announced in next week’s column.
The winner of The Sky Isn’t Visible From Here is #54 Reluctant Housewife.
This book sounds like exactly what i need. I think it might be my last resort to be sane again. It sounds great. I would love to win this book. I have a live with my father situation, it has become extrememly difficult.
Sincerely, Diana
Thanks for throwing such a great party and invite such a wonderfully entertaining crowd 🙂
I would have to have “Walking on Eggshells” I bet I am too late though.
I would love to read this!
I need this one!
This I could really use…
Count me in!!
I’d love to read this. Please pick me!
I feel like I would benefit from this book, as I have an adult daughter with children who lives in a different state than I. We kind of had a disagreement the other week, and I could feel the coldness across the miles!
I’d love to win this… thanks!
love to win
I was just looking at this book in the store. I would love to read it.
I wish for this book
I would love this book!
sounds interesting!
I could use this after my toddler’s temper tantrums!
this sounds like a really great book!
This would be great!
Mommie
http://www.mommieshome.net
as the mother of a senior in highschool, I would love to start reding and get a handle on things before they happen. Nothings better than doing it right the first time.
yeah I definitely need this to help understand my adopted mom, then I’ll pass it on to her! thanks!
I could use this book when dealing with my mother and my oldest step-daughter. Please enter me.
sounds like a great book
We all have stories to tell & songs to sing. It’s a wonderful thing to share & learn from each other. Count me in for this splendid giveaway!
Please consider me.
Please enter me:-)
I would love to read this one!
My entry is in!
count me in. thanks
fabulous!
Sounds like a great book
Nice book. Please enter me.
our eldest son has just “left home” at eighteen to go to university (college)… we have a fab friendship, but i guess i’m starting to think about the ineveitable change in our relationship over the next few years in his life.
love X
I need this book. My son and I live a state apart, and I walk on eggshells around him constantly. If I don’t win it, I will order this. Thanks for showing it to us!
this looks so good I can also pass it along to my sisters after I read it and My mom too!
yeah can’t wait to get it!
Warmly,
Stacy~Creativemuse
http://www.etsy.com/shop.php?user_id=5023227
http://www.flickr.com/photos/52895107@N00/
This is a book that is really needed. I would love to win a copy.
It’s so nice to be out in blogland and find out you don’t live in the only dysfunctional family in the world. This book sounds fantastic. If I don’t win one (puh-leez let me win one), I’m going to buy one (horrors). If I win, you can contact me at dmj53(at)hotmail(dot)com
Nice find. I wonder if this book covers the relationship of single parents of adult children. specifically, does it cover a relationship when there is only one surviving parent after a death of the spouse?
PS. I would love to get a copy 😉
This sounds like an excellent read!
I Would love a copy of this book!
Thanks for the contest 🙂
We are living this book! We moved here to be by our two daughters and grandkids. We try to live our own life and let them do the same. Even trying to stay out of their way backfires with comments on “not seeing the grandkids enough” or seeing this one more than that one etc. etc. etc. I need to get that book. I just don’t know if there is a point of balance.
Looking forward to reading it. Thanks for posting on it.
I would love to read this book,count me in please
Need, need, Need this book1!!!
I’d love to read this book – thanks for the opportunity to win it!
I would have loved to had this book while my mother was still alive. Now I need it for interactions with my adult children. Thanks for giving me a chance to win this book.
Too cool!
Sounds like a very useful book for parents.
Sounds useful for a few people that I know!
Thanks
This is just what I need. I constanly feel as though I’m walking on eggshells
This sounds like an interesting book. Thanks for the chance to win!
Hi, This books sounds fantastic. I have read many good things about it. I am going to be in the “empty
nest” syndrome in not too long of a time. I know this book would help me immensely! Please enter me in your drawing. I appreciate it…..Cindi
I’d love to win this book–It sounds wonderful! thanks.
sherry
I have trouble getting along with both of my parents (I actually like my in-laws better!) so maybe this would help out some…
nifferjeno at gmail dot com
I really need this for dealing with my mother…
Sign me up! Always looking for ways to improve the relationships with my parents, my in-laws, and my children. I know if I can build a great foundation with my children when they are still little, it may help keep that bond strong as they become adults.
Please enter me!
:)Thanks,
Kat
Oh my I could so use a copy of that!
Thanks for the excellent giveaway! Hope I win…
I want to win this for my parents. I think they would get a lot out of it.
Sounds great–count me in please. Thanks!
please, count me in.
I would love to read this book, please add me to your drawing.
Would love a copy of this one, Thanks
Why is it that once kids get to a certain age, usually right after puberty they just seem to be in a world all of their own? I see this actually with all my children, they are not quite ready to leave the nest, but have grown out in so many ways. I can’t understand it at times, my youngest is the worse, she is fifeteen and soon turn sixteen, in a month actually. But she is difiant, and bossy, and when she dosen’t like something, she makes no fuss to share it with who ever may be around. It is one thing to say, “I don’t like something” and another to be obnoxious about it. She has her sweet moments, which seem to go far for her, my other daughter is 21, she wants out of the house at this time, which is really understandable, but the rents are sky high for these kids, they are still thinking in the fun mode, she goes out with friends and partys and then, it’s Monday and the week starts all over again for her. She loves what she does, but I just would think at this point it’s juat a matter of time, before the proverbial bough is going to break. Oh well, what ever decision they make, it is our job as parents to support them, right? None of my kids like going to church, they seldom help out around the house, but they still come back home each night after a hard days work. I can only hope, they would think before leaving the family home, and know how to act in a responsible way.
I do not think there is any more complex relationship than the one between me and my mother. This sounds really awesome. Your site rocks! Wow, you must work hard-girl!
AS I get ready to push that last chickie out of the nest, I could really use some insight as to what lies ahead. Maybe I can prevent myself from making a few mistakes…..
This does sound like a great book. I’d love to read it, then share it with my mom and my sister (who walk on eggshells around each other much more than I do with them!)
considering my non-existent relationship with my father, I would love to read this book. Thanks!
I would love to win this book. The relationship between my husband and I with his parents is a difficult one. We have a 3-year-old daughter who is the only grandchild and I would love to gain some insight and possibly learn how to have a better relationship with them so she knows her grandparents. Otherwise if things don’t improve I’m afraid we will lose all connection to his family. Please help me by letting me win a copy of this book. Thank you!
I’m interested!
This sounds right up my ally, please count me in!
This sounds like a great book that everyone should have.
This subject really hits home. My mom and I are planning a trip together this year (first one ever) and this book would be great to have.
this book sounds like one I need to read, please enter me, thanks!
Sounds like a good book to think about relationships.
Sounds interesting.
Sounds like a very interesting book!
I love to read & would enjoy this book.
Thanks! Count me in!
Definitely count me in. I need this book.
Sounds interesting. Please enter me.
I would love to win a copy to read. Thanks.
Sounds like a wonderful book. I didn’t realize that someone out there actually tackled this difficult issue.
would love to read this book 🙂
oh i know my sister would love this book so I’m entering for her and I guess also me…thanks
love them at 57 i think id love them
My oldest daughter is 16, I suppose I will need this book soon. If nothing else, to help me with my relationship with my own parents!
Wonderful giveaway!
I’d love to win!
I think that I need to read this book! It sure is difficult navigating the relationship between myself and my parents now that I am an adult. I would love to win.
I WOULD LIKE TO WIN THIS IS SOUNDS GREAT
This book sounds like an excellent read. Count me in!
I would love to win this book- it sounds fascinating.
Wow–I was just chatting with my sister-in-law about the drama with our husband’s parents. There are three boys in the family and the relationships have gotten so complicated that even though we are in the same state, we only get together at major holidays. Which only makes the drama of being together worse. In the two and a half years we’ve been married, I’ve been desperately trying to improve relationships. I’ve been frustrated that most discussions of parent/child relationships focus on the child under the age of 18. From talking with my married friends, I know our problems with parent/adult child are not unique. I am so glad to hear of a book about the topic.
(Sorry to gush … this is just a big deal in our house)