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Since going from a full time working mom to a work at home mom six months ago, I have been on a quest to meet other local mothers. Sounds easy, right?
Not so much.
Meeting other moms is like dating, but without the free drinks. It is hard, but it is worth the effort. The relationships I have made with other mothers have been instrumental to my success as a mother (and in maintaining my sanity). Here are some tips that may make your journey to finding mom friends a little easier.
- Put yourself out there.
Sounds way easier than it actually is. If you see another mother with a child who is roughly your child’s age, go talk to her. It doesn’t matter where you are. Being moms, you already have something in common which is a great conversation starter. If she is in the supermarket looking at snacks, ask her for her favorites. Next time you see her around, chat again. After a few chance meetings, you can exchange information and set up your first play date.
- Take classes, of the kid variety.
Check out your local baby gym, music school or library. They often hold classes for kids, some of which are free. Once you get there though, refer back to tip number 1. You have to approach the other moms attending the class with their kids to chat.
- Be a joiner.
Look for local mom groups in your area. You can use Meetup or just google “mom group” and the area where you live. Or, if you are feeling really ambitious, start your own!
- Network.
This seems like a no brainer, but it took me months to think of it. Email or call your friends (whether they have kids or not) and ask them if they have friends with kids who live close to you. If someone new is moving to your town, offer to show them around.
- Be patient.
It won’t happen overnight. It took hard work for me to meet the great moms that I now call friends. Like dating, I had to kiss a lot of frogs to find the princesses out there. Not everyone you meet is going to become your bestie. But in time, you will be surprised at the number of phenomenal women you will meet. It is definitely worth the effort.
Your Turn
Now that you have read my list, what are your tips for meeting other moms? I’d love to hear your ideas, please share your suggestions in a comment below.
Written by Jamie Lieberman
Jamie is a mom, wife, lawyer, professor and writer. These days, you can find her either writing for her website www.twohappymamas.com, playing with her son or teaching writing at Seton Hall School of Law.
I created Mom Meet Mom because I had so much trouble staying social after becoming a mom!
What a great post!! I see moms all around my city enjoying brunch together with their kids and I always wonder how they became friends. This is a great list with some great ideas!!
I used to find it very easy when my kids were much younger. You could go to the park and just start talking with other moms Now that my kids are all in school I find it harder. I really need to put myself out there more.
I wish I wasn’t such a recluse, rejection really sucks.
I really needed this! Sometimes, you need other moms to talk to and understand!
Awesome article and I wish I read about this years ago! I actually had this problem for almost a year after being a work at home mom. Good thing my sister pushed me off the deep end and forced me to socialize. Now I feel more comfortable approaching other moms in school and church. I’m not able to spend as much time as I want with my “mommy” friends but at least I know I can talk to them when I need to and they can completely relate to what I’m going through.
Great list. It can be tough after having a baby for sure. I know a lot of women, including myself, really appreciate online communities so we feel socially connected even when we have to be home a lot. Meetup is awesome too.
Finding mom friends is SO important! As a military spouse we moved constantly and I was always in a new place, needing new friends. I got very good at adapting by looking for groups through meetup and http://www.mops.org if you’re a family of faith (or willing/looking to be) churches are usually a wonderful place to meet fellow moms as well and often have great, free kids programs and events!
Thanks so much for these great suggestions! I will definitely check out http://www.mops.org – that one is new to me.
You’re welcome–I really love to see moms connecting! MOPs was SUCH a huge help for me to find friends–they bring in speakers and give you child care–oh and breakfast! Such a great way to meet fellow moms without your child hanging off of you 🙂
These are such good tips, even for non-moms to meet new friends! When we move this summer I will definitely be using these strategies.
What a fun post! These are great tips. I made a lot of friends at our local YMCA. We are still good friends 4 years later but I did have to do a lot of these tips to make that happen.
I’ve found that I made most of my “mom” friends through my kids — either through their after school activities (dance class, music class, sports) and through Girl Scouts.
I was fortunate to have a close knit group of friends when I became a mom. We all married around the same time and all started having kids around the same time. I had a built-in support system already established which helped me navigate new motherhood. I am also part of a mom group at my church which connects me to other moms in various stages of life and find that having them has been valuable too.
So true–it is a lot like dating! These are some great tips, especially the last one. It can take some time to make friends when the only thing you know you have in common is reproduction!
I wish I’d read this back when I became a mom! It took me a while to realize I needed other moms (especially since I was the first among my friends to have a baby). YES, join classes! There are tons of great classes for new moms and babies or toddlers, including exercise (I did baby aquafit with my oldest and it was tons of fun).
Yes, Jamie’s advice in this post is the type of thing we all need to hear when we become a mom. I had the extra struggle of being soooo busy when I had my babies because of working at home at the same time that it was impossible for me to join mom groups.
My first year was lonely and really hard work juggling working at home (often late into the night) and mothering. I then met a couple of other moms in our townhouse complex and that really helped over the following few years.
Check out http://www.momsclub.org/ and find the group closest to you. I’m a bit of an introvert and had to bully myself into going to a meeting but it was the best mom thing that happened besides becoming a mom.
Great advice… joining a mom group is the best way to meet moms at the same stage of parenting and life as you are.
Love this! It’s a topic that is near and dear to my heart. Along the lines of “put yourself out there,” I’d say “Make the first move.” I always had many many casual “mom friends,” women I’d see at school or the occasional park date, but don’t be afraid to invite her and her husband out (with or without the kids), or invite her over for lunch. Chances are, she wants to connect more deeply with someone too.
So very true Jennifer… you do need to make the first move. It can be really hard to move those casual friendships to deeper ones… and I admit I am not very good at that.