The Sampler – A Holy Kiss

by Guest Contributor

sampler-main-180-pix.jpg5 Minutes for Mom brings you exclusive samplings from the best mom blogs in our weekly column, The Sampler, hosted by 5 Minutes for Mom contributing editor Shera, from A Frog In My Soup.

Today I’d like you all to meet Angela Nazworth of Becoming Me! Angela is the mother of a four-year-spunky little girl and an 11-month-old boy. She and her husband Napp, a professor of political science, have been married for 8 ½ years and reside in South Carolina. A former award-winning public relations professional, Angela uses her writing as a ministry. In her new blog, Becoming Me, she shares personal stories and insights about God’s working in her life.

A Holy Kiss

Bad news. As far as I’m concerned it comes in three categories. Minor. Such news is easily remedied like discovering Pumpkindoodle’s latest chalk masterpiece drawn on the backdoor, or learning that my favorite T.V. show has been canceled (unless the show is Lost because that nugget of bad news would befit the next category). Major. Bad news of the major variety invokes temporary calamity and requires an exhaustive solution. Breaking an arm or discovering a rat colony in the basement fall under major. Cataclysmic. This is the doozy of all pandemonium inductive bad news with rippling consequences. Losing a job or learning that a loved one acquired a life-limiting illness crash into the realm of cataclysmic.

A few weeks ago, the Professor came home with bad news…in the post Columbine, 9/11, Katrina world in which we live in the news fell under a category two. In my selfish small familial worldview the news hit level three. His contract will not be renewed; another move, our ninth in nine years, eminent. As I grappled with a decision made by a magisterial administrator, I recognized a familiar ache. A foggy feeling that I have known but its identity escaped recognition.

Sadness weighted my heart as if the blood were drained and replaced with sand, sinking the vital organ low enough to burden my lungs. My breathing labored, my stomach churned, and with my head pressed against my palms, and fingernails firmly massaging my scalp I sobbed. Suddenly, the dust bunnies that cluttered my mind were swept away and that heavy feeling categorized. It was a shattered dream, an unmet expectation, a love unrequited. In short… a broken heart.

When the Professor and I moved to South Carolina last August hope abounded. Leaving our friends in Texas sliced to the marrow, but we believed that this move was a permanent one. The position … tenure track; the university … staffed with Christians; the odds … in our favor. Less than a year after we dug a hole, fertilized the soil with hard work and prayer, and planted our roots, we learned that those roots were to be exhumed once more. A promise was betrayed, trust severed, hope stunted. Ah yes, a broken heart indeed.

Once I understood the nature of the hurt, the mending began. Collapsing on my knees, face down, hands held upward, and with tears and raw emotion flowing I prayed. “Lord, I hurt. I hurt for my husband, I hurt for my family. I hurt. Thank you for being with me now and always Lord. Thank you for letting me come undone in your presence. Father, heal my heart. Do not let bitterness live here, do not let an unforgiving spirit dwell within me. You can make this good. You will make this good Lord. To that truth I cling.”

The healing process may vary from person to person, but the first step should always be the same…present the wound to the Father. When I hold up my bruised soul and invite His holy lips to kiss the boo-boo, healing surges; and the only one who can prevent this wonderment from prevailing is me.

The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.
Psalm 34:18

~ Written by Angela Nazworth of Becoming Me

A note from Angela about her blog:

Each person accumulates stories from life experiences. Some stories tell of blistering, bitter, frightening seasons when emotional fires, droughts, or floods brought devastation to a heart. Other stories derive from adrenaline enhancing joy and blissful happiness from seasons decorated with wonderment and adventure. And then there are stories that may not carry emotion but still garner enough weight to impact life. The creator of the universe is both the author of and lead character in my life story. With every experience I learn more about who I am in Christ…more about becoming me…the mature me God designed to be completed in Heaven.

If you would like to be considered for The Sampler please review The Sampler Guidelines.

This column is Hosted by Shera. She can be found at A Frog In My Soup



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{ 12 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Amy April 18, 2008 at 2:04 am

Wow – I can so relate. This has been on my mind all day – the hurts that we must lay before our Saviour. He alone is our healer. He allows the hurt to further our growth and dependence on Him. Knowing that He does not desire hurt for me but will use it in my life and my family is another key factor to working through the emotion for me.

Thank you for sharing!

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2 Sarah April 18, 2008 at 8:46 am

Beautifully put.

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3 nfmn April 18, 2008 at 12:08 pm

Thank you for beng so candid. Your words really spoke to me today and reminded me to keep life’s interruptions in perspective.

I’m tagging you for Fabulous Father Friday at Notes From My Nest…notesfrommynest.blogspot.com
Join me if you have a few moments to spare!

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4 Julie Todd April 18, 2008 at 3:08 pm

As usual your writing stirs deeply. I love visiting your blog and discovering the sweet touches of Papa in your life. I love that you bring your broken heart to Him…like your little children with their boo-boo’s for a kiss.

Your heart is radiant and beautiful….

Thank you for allowing me to read it.

Love to you this day,
Julie

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5 Linda April 18, 2008 at 6:09 pm

My heart aches for you, but what a precious gift to God as you lift your hurt to Him. I love the imagery of a Holy Kiss on our boo-boos.

Sweet blessings to you, my friend.
Linda

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6 Susan April 19, 2008 at 12:11 pm

Angela, thank you so very much for sharing this heart wrenching yet inspiring post with us.

It’s timely that you should write about the heart ache of moving. Just the other day my friend and I were lamenting her impending move. She lives across the street and we both have 3 yr old girls and 6 month old baby girls. We visit and the girls play almost every day. But now she is likely going to move to a new neighborhood… it’s only a 30 minute drive away, but it won’t be the same as across the street.

She is especially torn by the move because as an army brat she’s spent her entire life being ripped away from friends.

On the other hand, I spent my entire childhood in one home. I’ve moved only 4 times in 34 years. I can’t even imagine how hard it would be to move from State to State. To me, it seems impossible to survive… but you’re right… when we turn to God we will survive and thrive.

After reading your post, it certainly puts my friends move into perspective. Comparatively, it really only belongs in the Minor (maybe a bit Major to me) category. I will try to focus on thanking God that this family lived near us so that we could meet them in the first place and now we’ll just have to put in a bit more effort to drive over and visit every week.

Thank you again Angela! What a moving post. Oh no… I didn’t intend that pun… but LOL… I’ll leave it in.

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7 ExtraordinaryMommy April 19, 2008 at 3:08 pm

Angela~

What a beautiful post. I can feel your pain. I have moved 8 times in the last 12 years, and it appears another move may be in our future. I have always tried to look at the moves as an adventure, but it has gotten harder to move away and re-establish ourselves. Best of luck!

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8 Madison Richards April 20, 2008 at 4:34 pm

Angela,

Thank you so much for sharing your heart. It’s so important for us to learn the art of relationship, and it begins with transparency. In order to build intimacy, someone has to take a risk.

You’ve risked your heart in a beautiful way.
May you draw nearer to Him through this difficult time…

Madison Richards

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9 Gretchen April 20, 2008 at 11:17 pm

Lean on him, Angela. He’s waiting with open arms. Praying for your family as you come to mind.

xxxooogretchen

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10 accordingtokelly April 25, 2008 at 12:38 am

angela you have such a gift…. you are so wonderfully open & honest. each time i read a post you have written i feel so uplifted. thank you for this.

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11 MoneyMom April 25, 2008 at 10:19 pm

Great website ..

If any of you Mom’s needs some tips on making a little extra cash … great ideas below.

http://freedollars.wordpress.com/

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12 Robin (the pensieve one) May 1, 2008 at 2:42 pm

Poignant, emotionally-charged, God-glorifying. Imagery I can almost feel and see and taste and hear.

Masterfully written…I have a feeling The Sampler will take me to interesting places.

Great idea! Thanks!

:)

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