Date Night?!?

by Janice

Tonight, I am ACTUALLY going on a “date night” with my husband.

iStock_000002766524XSmallAround here, nights out with my hubby happen very rarely. I don’t have anyone to look after my kids!

You see, babysitting my kids isn’t a simple task. In fact — I need a tag team of two sitters!

Jackson has trouble with anxiety and won’t stay at home with a babysitter at night.

In order for us to go out, I need to either send Jackson to Susan’s house and get my nanny to babysit and put Olivia to bed, or have my nanny babysit until bedtime and then have Susan’s husband come and stay with Jackson.

Plus, after working during the day, even though I work from home, I feel bad leaving my kids in the evening.So, nights out just don’t happen for us often at all.

But tonight, I have had enough! We need to go out!

My nanny will babysit Olivia and put her to bed and my MIL will take Jackson to basketball and then come home and stay with the kids till we get home.

WOOHOO!!!

I feel like a liberated woman.

So, while I quickly scan the movie listings and try to find something that my hubby and I can agree on, you tell me, “Do you and your mate have regular date nights? Who looks after your kids?”



Email Author    |    Website About Janice

Janice is co-founder of 5 Minutes For Mom. She's been working online since 2003 and is thankful her days are full of social media, writing and photography. You can see more of her photos at janicecrozephotography.com.

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{ 49 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Kerrie January 15, 2010 at 9:17 pm

Congratulations!

(We’re going out tomorrow, too. CAN’T WAIT!)

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2 MaryBeth January 15, 2010 at 9:18 pm

We have a small army of people that we can call on to babysit our girls, so date nights happen pretty regularly for us. Even if we don’t go out, at least once a week my hubby and I eat dinner together after the girls have all gone to bed. It is a nice, simple way to have a date without having to get someone else to look after the kids.

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3 Susie's Homemade January 15, 2010 at 9:19 pm

Have a great time! It is important to get back to the basics:-)

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4 Kristen January 15, 2010 at 9:22 pm

we rarely EVER get a chance to go for a date night. We just have no one to watch our kids. We finally found a local 17 yr old girl that we used once over the holidays but we came home to the house being a disaster and food left out all over the counter so I just can’t bring myself to call her again. Oh well, one day one of the kids will be old enough to be the “grown up” while mom & dad go on a date!

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5 Philippa January 15, 2010 at 9:46 pm

I am sad to say that since our son was born almost five months ago we haven’t had a real date night yet. But we are working on it. Nothing fancy, just dinner.

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6 Erica Mueller January 15, 2010 at 9:50 pm

We have a great sitter, unfortunately for us, she’s a basketball player and this time of year it’s almost impossible to find an evening she’s not practicing or playing!

Grandma will watch him, but I hate asking a lot. She already keeps him two afternoons a week while I work at the family business.

However, we’re determined to go on a date at least twice a month. We even added it (including movie and babysitter fees) to our budget.

Tomorrow is date night!!

Sandy Jenny has a great post up today about Date Nights!!
http://www.organizewithsandy.com/chatwithsandy/2010/01/15/date-night/

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7 Blessed January 15, 2010 at 9:54 pm

Date Night? What’s that?

Hubby is resistant (he’d just as soon stay home and have me fix dinner… I guess I should be flattered, but…) I’m working on him, hopefully one of these days!

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8 Jessica January 15, 2010 at 10:36 pm

Awww – how fun!! Enjoy your date night!! :)

My sister is currently living with us for 5 months. It is amazing to have her here, both to have the company and help during the day, but also because we now have a trusted babysitter!! Love it!

Prior to her being here we didn’t do many dates. Our kids have a 6pm bedtime, so we did date nights at home frequently, and as much as we enjoyed it, it’s not quite the same as going out!! :)

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9 Amanda Tinney January 15, 2010 at 10:36 pm

Date night is essential to our marriage. We have one about once a week or at least once every two weeks.

Our babysitter is either my mother or my mother-in-law and it works out well as both Grandmas love to have our daughter and our daughter loves to go to Grandmas.

You moms out there that don’t have a sitter…I commend you. I don’t know if I could do it.

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10 Heather January 15, 2010 at 10:47 pm

We have date nights on Wednesday evenings while our daughter is at Awana. This has been a real blessing for us since we don’t have family around. As she gets older, I’m sure we’ll be able to have other date nights, but for now, this works.

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11 Tarasview January 15, 2010 at 11:06 pm

we barely ever have date nights and pretty much for the same reason as you… my kids just don’t handle it well. My mom will come over and watch them after I put my sons to bed but my daughter stays up late. She will be happy with grandma for a couple hours at most.

Most of the time it doesn’t bother me… but occasionally you definitely need a date night out!

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12 Amy January 16, 2010 at 12:35 am

We don’t have any family close…and have yet to even look for a sitter.
Our neighbor LOVES our daughter and the Madpie does well with her, but we hate to ask.
Usually our date night includes taking our daughter to our favorite mexican restaurant (that serves alcohol)and coming home, putting her to bed and us “retiring” to our bedroom. It works for us. I don’t see this working when we have a second child in high chair.

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13 Merry120 January 16, 2010 at 1:01 am

We go out often enough I guess but it’s rarely “date” night. It’s often a work function (we both work at the same company) or dinner with friends. We rarely go out just us.

We are lucky that we have a live in Nannny that Evan adores. On the nights that we go out, she watches Evan.

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14 Debra January 16, 2010 at 1:06 am

Oh, it’s rare….I mean rare. We lost my mom the year before I got pregnant…..she would have been my go-to babysitter. So, it’s quite difficult right now with other family too far away. It would be hard to trust anyone else….but one day we’ll have to I guess.

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15 Maryanne January 16, 2010 at 1:35 am

Congrats on having a date night. Our son is almost 14 months old and we have yet to have a date out by ourselves. Oh we’ve had a short 5 minute car ride to ourselves-that’s all my BIL will do (actually he’ll watch him for like 45 min. at most). If my MIL lived closer then we’d probably have date night out more often (my husband trusts his parents the most).
We have committed to having an at home date night weekly though and are going to try a babysitter every other month. New Years goal.
I’m going to start asking around for a good baby-sitter and we’ll probably try a date around our son’s naptime.

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16 Laura January 16, 2010 at 1:39 am

Congrats! That IS liberating.

Sadly, no *official* date night for us yet. We don’t live near any family, and all our friends have their hands full with their own kids. For now, we create a movie-night-in. Once our little one is in bed on Friday night we sit down and enjoy a late dinner, a movie and a big bowl of popcorn. It isn’t much, but it is a nice way to do SOMETHING! Perhaps we will locate a babysitter near by soon.

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17 Brandy January 16, 2010 at 5:05 am

No never. We haven’t been out on a date in over a year. we don’t really know anyoneout here and in-laws are to stubborn. The best date night we’ve got was watching a movie in the living roo, while kids are sleeping.

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18 Wendy January 16, 2010 at 7:28 am

Congrats on your date night! We usually only get one date night a year, for our anniversary, but now that we’ve moved out to the country I’m not sure we’re even going to be able to swing that. At this point, I’d be glad even to have just a lunch date!

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19 Michelle Cox January 16, 2010 at 7:37 am

With three kids, ages 14, 11 and 2, date nights are hard but so important. We used to go out every weekend when our oldest two were younger, but it’s just too expensive to do that now — even though our oldest is a built-in sitter. We try not take advantage of that too often, but we probably have a date every otner month or so, and we’re always glad we did it, even if it’s just for a quick dinner or a movie.

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20 alexis January 16, 2010 at 8:27 am

we are lucky…we have date night every Monday when our son (7) is in theatre class. Its only dinner, but that ONE MEAL together is wonderful.

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21 Valerie January 16, 2010 at 8:29 am

Congrats!! I hope you had a great time out with your hubby.
Date nights never happen for us. My husband is only home 3-5 days a month so he wants to spend time with all of us. On top of that my large family all live in Michigan and the only ones here that could watch the kids are his parents that are not in good enough health to watch my 4 and my oldest isn’t responsible enough. I wouldn’t trust her with the 2 little boys..(2.5 and 1), but we will survive and some day when they are a bit older we will get date nights again. :-D

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22 Kari January 16, 2010 at 8:58 am

AWESOME!! You guys TOTALLY need that!! My hubby and I don’t go out on “regular” dates but we have every Tuesday as both of our days OFF and we spend every one together! It’s LOVELY!!! :)

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23 Sandy January 16, 2010 at 9:41 am

How funny we both had the date night posts. It is important and you do have a harder time taking one than I do. My hubby has the triplets, so when we were dating and they were only 3-4 years old if we went out on a night we had them (rarely) he would have to get 2 sitters. It was usually a teenage girl and either her older sister or mom…they were friends of theirs.
It can almost be impossible for other families with special needs kids…and in those cases they have to improvise, but our relationships with our husbands NEED to be nurtured too. Thanks!

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24 Annie January 16, 2010 at 9:46 am

My Hubs and I do not have a regular date night. We do get one every now and then. My mom can babysit, but I hate to ask her too often.

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25 Mom All Day - Robyn January 16, 2010 at 9:46 am

Have fun! We don’t do date night either but once a year on our anniversary. My mom lives next door… sounds great right! Well, it’s not b/c she watches grandkids all week pretty much so to ask her to watch them again at night is something I don’t do. Have a great time!

Robyn
Mom All Day

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26 Kelli January 16, 2010 at 11:09 am

What is this “date night” you speak of Janice?

OOoooh, after googling and dictionaries, I figured it out. What a novelty! You mean people with kids actually do this? AMAZING!

LOL! Seriously, I was REALLY hoping for date night tonight since we only get out a couple times a year AND Tuesday I will turn 30… YIKES! But, alas it doesn’t look as if it is going to happen. :-(

Have enough fun for both of us, then clue me in. :-)

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27 Lolli January 16, 2010 at 11:41 am

For years, date nights were both rare and expensive. Then my oldest daughter turned 12, the legal age for babysitting siblings in our state, and we are finally able to get out more often. We don’t do it very often, even now, because my husband is SO busy with our business, but at least the option is there! Now that my daughter is 13, we now have to compete with her social life and her other babysitting jobs. Grr.

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28 Rachel January 16, 2010 at 11:50 am

Date nights are awesome – we had one last night too!

We are very,very blessed that my parents a) are firm believers in the need for without-kids-alone-time and are very proactive in making sure that we get it, and b) adore having grandkids over and beg us to let Ali come spend the night at least every few weeks.

So we have dates every 2-4 weeks and Ali spends the night at my parents, so we get to sleep in and be lazy (which I’m being right now).

Since a lot of our friends aren’t as fortunate to have in-town or able grandparents, we try to “pay it forward” and have their kids come spend the night with us sometimes.

I hope y’all had an awesome time!!!

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29 Pamela M. Kramer January 16, 2010 at 1:39 pm

It’s official! You are my HERO. We get to go out once a year for our anniversary. We have three and our little guy has to be very careful because of his food allergies. My Mom won’t watch all three of them. We don’t have a sitter or nanny. To go out we would have to most likely separate all of them. Talk about an ordeal! By the time you drop them all off you lose an hour. Arg!

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30 Erin Hill January 16, 2010 at 1:51 pm

I have a 10 week old right now so date nights are just not feasible. I’m hoping at 6 months we can start doing the monthly or bi-monthly date nights we used to do. But, maybe we just need to get 2 sitters. That’s a thought…thanks for the idea!

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31 Tonya January 16, 2010 at 1:56 pm

We maybe get out once a month…and that is sometimes not happening. But we have 4 kids and so it is hard to find someone who can handle all four!

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32 sierra January 16, 2010 at 3:03 pm

We try to get together for lunch or dinner every other week – which can be challenging with 4 kids (7, 5, 3 and 3 mos).
It almost never happened before we had an au pair because trying to explain the night time routine was so exhausting, and getting someone the kids all liked was really hard too.
Our au pairs is a doll, though, and because she lives with us, its not a big deal for Nicole to do dinner, bath and bed and they LOVE it when she does because she generally does more stories.
Sierra

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33 Christine January 16, 2010 at 4:15 pm

We have one babysitter we pay and she’s now an hour away at college…dang those ambitious teens! She did babysit for us twice while she was home for the holidays though.

We also have parents in the area but they are getting older so we don’t use them too often. The good thing is that our boys are now 4 and 5 so no diaper issues and they can feed themselves, making the it physically easier for the g-parents to help.

All that said, it’s usually once a month or so that we get to go out. Not nearly enough, but so worth any headache or effort required!

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34 Jen January 16, 2010 at 4:44 pm

We love our date nights. With 3 kids they don’t happen as often as we’d like, but we do go fairly regularly. As for a babysitter, we usually use the 13 yr old girl from our church that lives 4 houses away from us…we’ve been using her since she was 11. My mom lives 30 min away and will babysit for us once in a while, but mostly during the day if I have a dr apt or something.

But I firmly believe in the importance of date nights. Everyone should make the effort to keep their marriage alive with regular date nights!

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35 Cassidy January 16, 2010 at 4:48 pm

We don’t go out for dates as much as we would like, but we have no family near by and have not found a good reliable babysitter yet. However, every Saturday night we have an at home date. We have a nice dinner together after the kids go to bed. It’s a great way for us to make sure we have some quality time together each week even if we can’t get a baby sitter or don’t have much extra to spend.

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36 Jennifer, Snapshot January 16, 2010 at 7:10 pm

Hope you had fun.

We don’t have regular date nights, but we do get out when we can. We pay a teenager to babysit. I’m lucky, because my kids LOVE babysitters, but it’s still expensive.

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37 Megret January 16, 2010 at 7:53 pm

We try our best to have one weekly, but more often, it’s been every 2-3 weeks. My in-laws or my parents watch the kids. Sometimes the kids stay overnight at their house. We’ve been doing this since our first was about 6 months old — and even when money was tight, we’d at least cook a nice dinner at home and rent a romantic movie! :)

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38 Artist January 16, 2010 at 8:16 pm

It’s important to live the moment and to enjoy it. I like how you got creative to fulfill your wish.

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39 Joanne Sher January 16, 2010 at 8:45 pm

I have a very unique situation. My husband is home on disability, so we actually do “date mornings” every Tuesday while school is in session. The kids are in school (kindergarten and third grade), and we just go out to breakfast (because of budget, most weeks it’s McDonald’s – but every once in a while we do a “real restaurant”). We do our grocery shopping, together, right afterward, and generally finish up just in time to pick up my daughter from her half-day program. It is WON DER FUL.

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40 Mikki January 16, 2010 at 11:37 pm

Oh I LOVE date nights!
Now that our girls are teenagers, we get out a little more often and I love it.
When they were little, my mom was always great in telling us we had a ‘marriage’ before kids and we needed date nights.

Glad you had a great time (saw it on Twitter)!

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41 Margaret January 17, 2010 at 9:51 am

We try to once a month or so. My son is a certified sitter and is old enough to watch his sister for a few hours. Plus we have plenty if extended family around. I do wish we could go out more though.

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42 Megan January 17, 2010 at 9:53 am

I hope you had an amazing time! Date nights, I miss those. My husband and I haven’t had one in over a year. We don’t have a babysitter, so unfortunately, us going out without the kids doesn’t happen.

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43 Suzanne B. (Crunchy Green Mom) January 17, 2010 at 12:01 pm

The one thing that is great about a blended family, is scheduling.

If you can get ALL the children out of the house at the same time… it’s a blessing. (We have 7 kids between us)

Now we have no kids Fridays and Saturdays.

Date nights are thing we get every week, thankfully, because with seven kids, we could get lost easily.

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44 Amy January 17, 2010 at 9:30 pm

Date nights are rare around here too! We only have one person we trust with our daughter so it depends on her schedule. Plus, we just don’t like leaving our little girl either :-) we enjoy every moment with her and feel as though we may miss something! But, it is important to stay connected with your spouse. Reconnect! We enjoy our time out and I know you guys will too! Try not to worry about the kids too much ;-)

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45 Sally January 18, 2010 at 1:19 am

We try to have date nights at least monthly, but my goal this year is to have one every other week, bank account permitting.

We are so very lucky to have a drop off center near our home. The kids love to go there, and I’m lucky to have them. We didn’t have babysitters before.

Hopefully soon, we’ll get a night away to ourselves. My Dad usually comes and stays with the kids. I feel so guilty asking because I have three kids, and I feel it’s too much, but he’s such a good sport.

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46 FruSol January 18, 2010 at 3:29 am

In fact, date night is one of my New Year’s Resolutions! I love date night (don’t we all) and it seems as though this is the time to get out more often. The kids seems to sleep through almost every single night now, and my SIL has moved to town and doesn’t mind sitting for us! It is sooo good to get some time to get “re-aquainted” with my darlig husband. Most nights we are too tired to talk, we just go through the ropes and then unwind on separate computers… Date nights are just what we need to find back to the good stuff!

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47 SaraR January 18, 2010 at 1:02 pm

I wish we had a date night more than about once a year. It would be so nice to just get out. By the time we pay someone to watch the kids it get’s too expensive so we rely on friends or if my parents are in town (which isn’t often, like twice a year). Hopefully some day my parents will live closer and we’ll actually get to get out just the two of us more than once a year.

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48 hotpantsâ„¢ January 19, 2010 at 11:19 am

We had a date night on Sunday. We only have them every three or four months. I think it’s necessary to get out of the house. Moms and Dads need date nights to stay sane. I hope you had a great time.

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49 Nanny February 4, 2010 at 11:26 pm

If you have a great babysitter on hand, it makes life so much easier! Keeping your sanity makes you a better mom for your kids.

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