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5 Minutes for Books — The Suicide Index

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I know, I know, “Suicide”–right in the title. But stick with me for a few paragraphs before you turn away to think about something less depressing.

Looking at the full title gives a more accurate description of what the book is about. The Suicide Index: Putting my Father’s Death in Order is a memoir by Joan Wickersham in which she attempts to do what she says in the title. Sixteen years ago, when Wickersham was married and raising a family of her own, her father inexplicably pulled the trigger to end his own life. There was no note, there had been no threats, it just happened.

In her determination to find out why, she delves into what made her father who he was. She uncovered his abusive upbringing, business failings and personal humiliations, the intricacies of an aging marriage. This combination makes for an interesting read: part biography of her father and part memoir of her responses to him.

The chapters are short and varied in style and tone and point of view, each filed under a different index, such as “Suicide: day after, search warrant,” and “Suicide: other people’s stories concerning.”

This book would certainly be a help to someone whose experienced the death of a loved one in this manner, but for those of us who love memoir of any sort, it’s an illuminating look at family dynamics, before and after this tragic event.

After reading this book, I realized that it’s more common than I thought, and that as the author was trying to get across, suicide doesn’t completely invalidate all you thought of that person before.

If you’d like to win one of two copies (U.S. shipping addresses only), leave a comment and we’ll draw a winner and post it in next week’s column.

The winners of last week’s book The Moon in the Mango Tree are #120 Janet F and #58 Tonya Froemel.

Reader Interactions


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115 Comments

  4. I would love to read this book and also would love to put in our library in the mental health section, so others could read this too.

    Reply

  7. my daughter ashley took her own life february.14,2004 7 days before her 19th birthday.it was so devastating to all of us and all the unanswered questions. here is my daughters web page
    mikepease.tripod.com

    i tried to post earlier but i dont think it went through

    Reply

  11. This book looks interesting because of the process of uncovering the past and learning and because it’s a memoir, which is my favorite genre.
    Thank you for the contest.

    Reply

  22. Hi, I have suffered from anxiety/depression off and on from childhood. I would really enjoy reading her book about her father’s suicide. There is still such a stigma associated with mental illness! People need to realize, that it is no different than having any other illness. Thanks, Cindi

    Reply

  25. A very interesting but difficult subject that most people don’t want to touch! I think most people just want to know “why”, and how can it be prevented or how to pick up on the signs before it happens. Its just really hard to understand looking from the outside.

    Reply

  26. I’d love to read this book. I lost a loved one inexplicably to suicide as well and this sounds like a fascinating read, and something that will really resonate with me. Thanks for the giveaway!

    Reply

  27. This sounds like a very intricate and emotional memoir–I’m sure it will provide some real insight into this reality that faces many families.

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  29. I know a few people who have succeeded at committing suicide and some who have come VERY close (including myself). I would love to win a copy of this to get another person’s perspective on this!

    Thanks for a great giveaway!

    Reply

  34. This is definitly a great giveaway. It stays on a serious topic, but it looks like a very interesting read. Suicide has been part of my life with myself, friends and family for many years. I have read alot about it and have learned some things I hadn’t known before, and one of things that I felt most closet to was what other people, the ones who committed suicide and the ones they left behind, had to go threw before and after it happened. The documentary The Bridge, a bit graphic at times, but it offers that.

    Reply

  44. This would be a great book that I could give to a friend of mine who is directly dealing with this! Thanks,
    Angie

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  47. I hope that I do not need this but with teenagers in the house I think that it would be worthwhile reading. Please and thank you.

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  50. This sounds like a very good book and I would love to read it. To try to find out what led to someone wanting to end their own life sounds very compelling. Thank you so much!

    Reply

  52. I’d love to win this and donate it to the Survivors of Suicide subgroup of the local Young Widows and Widowers (YWOW) group that I was a member of when my husband died. Thanks so much for the chance!

    Reply

  71. Wow, this is probably something I wouldn’t have picked up on my own, so thank you so much for the review. I find them highly valuable. That old adage is true: Don’t judge a book by it’s cover. Thanks for the opportunity to win a copy!

    Reply

  84. Wow, it sounds hard to read but something that everyone should probably read. Suicide has such a stigma that most people don’t want to think or talk about it with their loved ones.

    Reply

  87. if I don’t win sounds a book I need to share with my family, my aunt took her life and her husbands 1 1/2 years ago. obviously really shook the whole family up.
    this book sounds like a little therapy.

    thanks for leading me to it.

    Reply

  89. I would love to win a copy of this book! I love memiors and after I finish reading it, I can pass it on to my dad who is a grief counselor. I am sure it would be very helpful to him in his counseling of families.

    Thanks for the awesome give away and for turning me on to a new book that I will definitely go out and buy if I don’t win it. 🙂

    Reply

  93. everytime i hear about suicide it makes me so depressed/sad. I dont understand why people want to do it. life is to precious, once youve commited suicide thiers no changing your mind…
    I feel so sorry for the familys too. if you know someone who is suicidel please get them help.

    Reply

  94. My uncle committed suicide 2 years ago. His boys are still coping (as the rest of the family tries to deal with it)

    I’ve not totally grieved properly and have avoided reading anything because of the raw emotions that spew from memories. Maybe it’s time.

    Reply

  96. Sounds like an interesting read. I know two people who’ve had suicides in their own families, but thankfully I’ve never dealt with this myself.

    Reply

  99. I’ve suffered from depression since my teens, and suicidal periods have always been a part of that. It’s so very hard to explain to others why, when you’re in the depths of despair, taking your life doesn’t seem selfish, but a gift. Sounds like Joan Wickersham discovered this in coming to terms with her dad’s death.

    Reply

  102. My college boyfriend committed suicide my sophomore year. It was devastating. He had so much going for him – he was handsome, fun, stylish. He was so good to me. But he was tormented with things I can’t comprehend. It still breaks my heart…

    I would love to read another perspective on this topic.

    Reply

  103. This book sounds very interesting. I would like to know what makes a person go from just thinking about suicide to actually doing it, and also the impact on the persons family.

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  105. Unfortunately my family has experienced more than it’s share of suicides and this is a book I plan to read.

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  107. I didn’t realize how common suicide is, either. This sounds like a very interesting read. Thanks for the review!

    Reply

  109. It hurts me that sometimes the people we love so much have so much going on inside of them that we never know about, sometimes until it’s too late. Our tiny town of 300 was rocked this last summer when one of our high seniors committed suicide. And everyone felt a sense of shame when his father followed him in the same manner not 6 weeks later. We need to learn how to talk to people, while we were blind sided by the boy, we should have known to rally together for the father. I can’t even imagine the pain. We’re still trying to find ways to discuss this issue, I would be very interested in this woman’s PoV.

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  110. Two years ago when life was really, really bad for me suicide was something that I was planning out and actually was very lucky that I had an astute husband and friend who figured out what was happening and got me the help I needed. I now wake up every day and look at my three kids and I know that I did the right thing by NOT ending my life. Even if I don’t win, this will be going on my library read list.

    I also have a US address.

    Reply

  111. I’ve never experienced anything like this but it sounds like it is a good book to read to broaden my horizons.

    Reply