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5 Minutes for Books — The Suicide Index

August 4, 2008 by Jennifer Donovan

This post may contain affiliate links. Read my disclosure policy here.

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If you love books, be sure to check out our Books site. We have reviews for novels, children’s books, babies’ books, and informational non-fiction.

I know, I know, “Suicide”–right in the title. But stick with me for a few paragraphs before you turn away to think about something less depressing.

Looking at the full title gives a more accurate description of what the book is about. The Suicide Index: Putting my Father’s Death in Order is a memoir by Joan Wickersham in which she attempts to do what she says in the title. Sixteen years ago, when Wickersham was married and raising a family of her own, her father inexplicably pulled the trigger to end his own life. There was no note, there had been no threats, it just happened.

In her determination to find out why, she delves into what made her father who he was. She uncovered his abusive upbringing, business failings and personal humiliations, the intricacies of an aging marriage. This combination makes for an interesting read: part biography of her father and part memoir of her responses to him.

The chapters are short and varied in style and tone and point of view, each filed under a different index, such as “Suicide: day after, search warrant,” and “Suicide: other people’s stories concerning.”

This book would certainly be a help to someone whose experienced the death of a loved one in this manner, but for those of us who love memoir of any sort, it’s an illuminating look at family dynamics, before and after this tragic event.

After reading this book, I realized that it’s more common than I thought, and that as the author was trying to get across, suicide doesn’t completely invalidate all you thought of that person before.

If you’d like to win one of two copies (U.S. shipping addresses only), leave a comment and we’ll draw a winner and post it in next week’s column.

The winners of last week’s book The Moon in the Mango Tree are #120 Janet F and #58 Tonya Froemel.

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About Jennifer Donovan

Jennifer Donovan has been a part of the 5 Minutes for Mom team since 2007. She writes product reviews, covers events, and manages the 5 Minutes for Books weekly column and website. She lives in Houston and blogs at Snapshot about life with her family.

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115 Comments

  1. Audrey Okaneko says

    August 14, 2008 at 5:23 pm

    I love reading all kinds of books. Thanks!

    Reply
  2. Lily Kwan says

    August 11, 2008 at 1:07 am

    Please enter me into the contest. Thanks!

    Reply
  3. Timothy Sternberg says

    August 11, 2008 at 12:05 am

    Sounds like an interesting book.

    Reply
  4. Nora Scott-Platt says

    August 10, 2008 at 8:49 pm

    I would love to read this book and also would love to put in our library in the mental health section, so others could read this too.

    Reply
  5. Kobi Hendrix says

    August 10, 2008 at 8:36 pm

    Sounds like a great read!!

    Reply
  6. Elsie Sutton says

    August 10, 2008 at 7:49 pm

    soundslike a greatbook

    Reply
  7. kathy pease says

    August 10, 2008 at 7:18 pm

    my daughter ashley took her own life february.14,2004 7 days before her 19th birthday.it was so devastating to all of us and all the unanswered questions. here is my daughters web page
    mikepease.tripod.com

    i tried to post earlier but i dont think it went through

    Reply
  8. Kathleen Luman says

    August 10, 2008 at 11:00 am

    This sounds like a really good book I would enjoy reading.

    Reply
  9. Nick says

    August 10, 2008 at 10:32 am

    Thank you for this contest.

    Reply
  10. Tammy says

    August 10, 2008 at 10:14 am

    Thanks for the chance.

    Reply
  11. A. Ashley says

    August 10, 2008 at 8:14 am

    This book looks interesting because of the process of uncovering the past and learning and because it’s a memoir, which is my favorite genre.
    Thank you for the contest.

    Reply
  12. Jo says

    August 10, 2008 at 7:47 am

    I am a true story junkie and would love this book
    [email protected]

    Reply
  13. Samantha Miller says

    August 10, 2008 at 1:35 am

    This sounds like a good, interesting read. Thanks for the contest!

    Reply
  14. Chrysa says

    August 10, 2008 at 1:18 am

    This looks really interesting.

    Reply
  15. romero says

    August 9, 2008 at 8:16 pm

    would love to be entered.

    Reply
  16. Delores says

    August 9, 2008 at 8:16 pm

    please enter me!

    Reply
  17. Angie P says

    August 9, 2008 at 7:58 pm

    I’ve lost people to suicide…this looks like a wonderful read.

    Reply
  18. JoAnn says

    August 9, 2008 at 7:43 pm

    I would love to read this. I lost my son to suicide almost 7 years ago. Thanks for the contest

    Reply
  19. philip halter says

    August 9, 2008 at 6:18 pm

    enter me please

    Reply
  20. Jaime C. says

    August 9, 2008 at 6:08 pm

    I would like to read this.

    Reply
  21. Ed Nemmers says

    August 9, 2008 at 5:06 pm

    Challenging read!

    Reply
  22. Cindi says

    August 9, 2008 at 1:30 pm

    Hi, I have suffered from anxiety/depression off and on from childhood. I would really enjoy reading her book about her father’s suicide. There is still such a stigma associated with mental illness! People need to realize, that it is no different than having any other illness. Thanks, Cindi

    Reply
  23. Kathy Music says

    August 9, 2008 at 8:10 am

    So sad,but all to real.God help these families.

    Reply
  24. Jenn says

    August 9, 2008 at 3:44 am

    My father killed himself. It is a very traumatic experience to go throguh..

    Reply
  25. Laurie says

    August 9, 2008 at 2:10 am

    A very interesting but difficult subject that most people don’t want to touch! I think most people just want to know “why”, and how can it be prevented or how to pick up on the signs before it happens. Its just really hard to understand looking from the outside.

    Reply
  26. Megan B. says

    August 9, 2008 at 12:27 am

    I’d love to read this book. I lost a loved one inexplicably to suicide as well and this sounds like a fascinating read, and something that will really resonate with me. Thanks for the giveaway!

    Reply
  27. Cassandra says

    August 8, 2008 at 11:55 pm

    This sounds like a very intricate and emotional memoir–I’m sure it will provide some real insight into this reality that faces many families.

    Reply
  28. Bryce siddons says

    August 8, 2008 at 10:51 pm

    thanks for the entry. i really really want this book

    Reply
  29. Dara Nix says

    August 8, 2008 at 7:51 pm

    I know a few people who have succeeded at committing suicide and some who have come VERY close (including myself). I would love to win a copy of this to get another person’s perspective on this!

    Thanks for a great giveaway!

    Reply
  30. Sheila Pepe says

    August 8, 2008 at 6:37 pm

    This book sounds interesting.

    Reply
  31. Niki Moyer says

    August 8, 2008 at 5:58 pm

    Looks like an interesting read

    Reply
  32. CHERYL A FRANCISCO says

    August 8, 2008 at 5:47 pm

    commenting for entry
    [email protected]

    Reply
  33. Ginny says

    August 8, 2008 at 5:16 pm

    I wanted to be a psychologist, so I like books like this. Looks interesting.

    Reply
  34. JORDAN says

    August 8, 2008 at 2:34 pm

    This is definitly a great giveaway. It stays on a serious topic, but it looks like a very interesting read. Suicide has been part of my life with myself, friends and family for many years. I have read alot about it and have learned some things I hadn’t known before, and one of things that I felt most closet to was what other people, the ones who committed suicide and the ones they left behind, had to go threw before and after it happened. The documentary The Bridge, a bit graphic at times, but it offers that.

    Reply
  35. Alyce says

    August 8, 2008 at 12:51 pm

    Thanks for the entry.

    Reply
  36. Anthony Hedden says

    August 8, 2008 at 12:30 pm

    enter me

    Reply
  37. Joan Koczon says

    August 8, 2008 at 10:38 am

    I really would love to win this.
    It sounds like a topic close to me.

    Reply
  38. Charlotte Padgett says

    August 8, 2008 at 7:51 am

    I just want a chance to win.

    Reply
  39. Felicia Lockamy says

    August 8, 2008 at 2:26 am

    Thank you for an interesting read.

    Reply
  40. Lisa says

    August 7, 2008 at 4:24 pm

    I’d love to read this! Put me in the drawing, please.

    Reply
  41. Belinda Shaw says

    August 7, 2008 at 3:53 pm

    I’d really like to real this! I enjoy true stories.

    Reply
  42. Chris F says

    August 7, 2008 at 1:23 pm

    I would like to win this book!

    Reply
  43. pat a says

    August 7, 2008 at 10:13 am

    Very sad topic…but one that hits close to home..

    Reply
  44. angie says

    August 7, 2008 at 5:28 am

    This would be a great book that I could give to a friend of mine who is directly dealing with this! Thanks,
    Angie

    Reply
  45. Valerie Mitchell says

    August 7, 2008 at 12:04 am

    What a wonderful prize!

    Reply
  46. israel y says

    August 6, 2008 at 8:59 pm

    thanks for the chance to win this book

    Reply
  47. Steve Scott says

    August 6, 2008 at 6:58 pm

    I hope that I do not need this but with teenagers in the house I think that it would be worthwhile reading. Please and thank you.

    Reply
  48. Sharon Jones says

    August 6, 2008 at 4:09 pm

    Would really like to win this…thanks!!!

    Reply
  49. Ellen Cunningham says

    August 6, 2008 at 3:53 pm

    This sounds like a real good read.

    Reply
  50. judy brittle says

    August 6, 2008 at 2:02 pm

    This sounds like a very good book and I would love to read it. To try to find out what led to someone wanting to end their own life sounds very compelling. Thank you so much!

    Reply
  51. Kathy Conley says

    August 6, 2008 at 1:02 pm

    I would like to use this as a resource in dealing with troubled teens.

    Reply
  52. CPA Mom says

    August 6, 2008 at 12:06 pm

    I’d love to win this and donate it to the Survivors of Suicide subgroup of the local Young Widows and Widowers (YWOW) group that I was a member of when my husband died. Thanks so much for the chance!

    Reply
  53. Sarah says

    August 6, 2008 at 11:50 am

    enter me!

    Reply
  54. Deb Klein says

    August 5, 2008 at 7:43 pm

    Sounds like some kind of mystery that will keep my interest~Please enter me. Thanks!

    Reply
  55. Linda Moeller says

    August 5, 2008 at 7:15 pm

    A subject people generally avoid. I’ll bet it’s excellent.

    Reply
  56. Tonya Froemel says

    August 5, 2008 at 6:35 pm

    like to win this

    Reply
  57. A Melvin says

    August 5, 2008 at 6:34 pm

    Wow, the title gets you, doesn’t it? This sounds like a book I could devour in a weekend.

    Reply
  58. Mike Weisberg says

    August 5, 2008 at 5:00 pm

    I want to win

    Reply
  59. djp says

    August 5, 2008 at 4:59 pm

    what a good win

    Reply
  60. Laura Collins says

    August 5, 2008 at 4:00 pm

    Looks interesting.I have always wondered how the
    person who finds the body feel also.

    Reply
  61. Tarah says

    August 5, 2008 at 3:11 pm

    It sounds like an interesting read – a look into a situation I hope to never be in.

    Reply
  62. Susan says

    August 5, 2008 at 2:43 pm

    I had a cousin and an Aunt commit suicide so this book sounds interesting to me.

    Reply
  63. tim brown says

    August 5, 2008 at 1:12 pm

    THANK YOU GOD BLESS

    Reply
  64. Rachel Fox says

    August 5, 2008 at 12:57 pm

    Sounds like a great read! Thanks for the opportunity to win!

    Reply
  65. tobye says

    August 5, 2008 at 12:48 pm

    Sounds like an interesting read.

    Reply
  66. Angela J says

    August 5, 2008 at 12:25 pm

    This would be an interesting read.

    Reply
  67. Kari Follett says

    August 5, 2008 at 11:11 am

    Sounds very…interesting and heartfelt.

    Reply
  68. Lisa says

    August 5, 2008 at 10:02 am

    Sounds like an interesting book. Would love to win!

    Reply
  69. Nikki says

    August 5, 2008 at 9:27 am

    Looks like a good book.

    Reply
  70. Go Amie says

    August 5, 2008 at 8:24 am

    I would like to read this; it sounds interesting and not *too* depressing.

    Reply
  71. Christin Slade says

    August 5, 2008 at 7:54 am

    Wow, this is probably something I wouldn’t have picked up on my own, so thank you so much for the review. I find them highly valuable. That old adage is true: Don’t judge a book by it’s cover. Thanks for the opportunity to win a copy!

    Reply
  72. DANIEL REOME says

    August 5, 2008 at 12:06 am

    WOULD LIKE TO WIN THIS!

    Reply
  73. Adrienne Gordon says

    August 4, 2008 at 7:50 pm

    sad book

    Reply
  74. Aimee says

    August 4, 2008 at 6:55 pm

    This book sounds both fascinating and necessary. Thank you for the chance to win it.

    Reply
  75. christopher h says

    August 4, 2008 at 6:41 pm

    sounds like a very necessary book

    Reply
  76. Kathy D says

    August 4, 2008 at 6:37 pm

    Sounds like a very interesting book…..

    Reply
  77. Gina Stratos says

    August 4, 2008 at 6:20 pm

    I’d love to read this book as I have seen the aftermath first hand.

    Reply
  78. Jenn S. says

    August 4, 2008 at 4:54 pm

    I would love to read this book.

    Reply
  79. susan varney says

    August 4, 2008 at 4:49 pm

    sounds all comsuming

    Reply
  80. Kathy Scott says

    August 4, 2008 at 4:04 pm

    My kids are teenagers so I would really like to read this book. Thanks for the chance.

    Reply
  81. DARIJAVAN says

    August 4, 2008 at 3:51 pm

    This sounds like a very interesting book. Count me in

    Reply
  82. Denise says

    August 4, 2008 at 3:48 pm

    Sounds very interesting.

    Reply
  83. charline s says

    August 4, 2008 at 3:47 pm

    Sounds interesting

    Reply
  84. Natalie says

    August 4, 2008 at 3:39 pm

    Wow, it sounds hard to read but something that everyone should probably read. Suicide has such a stigma that most people don’t want to think or talk about it with their loved ones.

    Reply
  85. Ann Fantom says

    August 4, 2008 at 3:14 pm

    This looks very interesting. Please enter me

    Reply
  86. tabitha says

    August 4, 2008 at 2:06 pm

    This looks like a fascinating read.

    Reply
  87. karissa says

    August 4, 2008 at 1:57 pm

    if I don’t win sounds a book I need to share with my family, my aunt took her life and her husbands 1 1/2 years ago. obviously really shook the whole family up.
    this book sounds like a little therapy.

    thanks for leading me to it.

    Reply
  88. Belinda A. says

    August 4, 2008 at 1:51 pm

    I love a memoir and this sounds thought-provoking to say the least.

    Reply
  89. Kimbrah says

    August 4, 2008 at 12:29 pm

    I would love to win a copy of this book! I love memiors and after I finish reading it, I can pass it on to my dad who is a grief counselor. I am sure it would be very helpful to him in his counseling of families.

    Thanks for the awesome give away and for turning me on to a new book that I will definitely go out and buy if I don’t win it. 🙂

    Reply
  90. cathy miller says

    August 4, 2008 at 12:27 pm

    I really hope to win this, it’s an excellent book

    Reply
  91. stephanie willis says

    August 4, 2008 at 12:13 pm

    sounds like an interesting read – always looking for something good to read.

    Reply
  92. Shannon H says

    August 4, 2008 at 12:11 pm

    I know someone who might benefit from this book. Thanks!

    Reply
  93. c. clemens says

    August 4, 2008 at 12:01 pm

    everytime i hear about suicide it makes me so depressed/sad. I dont understand why people want to do it. life is to precious, once youve commited suicide thiers no changing your mind…
    I feel so sorry for the familys too. if you know someone who is suicidel please get them help.

    Reply
  94. Michelle Pendergrass says

    August 4, 2008 at 11:38 am

    My uncle committed suicide 2 years ago. His boys are still coping (as the rest of the family tries to deal with it)

    I’ve not totally grieved properly and have avoided reading anything because of the raw emotions that spew from memories. Maybe it’s time.

    Reply
  95. M says

    August 4, 2008 at 11:33 am

    Sad…I have never felt so down that ending my life would occur to me. How painful for everyone involved.

    Reply
  96. Amy says

    August 4, 2008 at 11:29 am

    Sounds like an interesting read. I know two people who’ve had suicides in their own families, but thankfully I’ve never dealt with this myself.

    Reply
  97. Ren says

    August 4, 2008 at 11:25 am

    Sounds like an interesting read!

    Reply
  98. sandy says

    August 4, 2008 at 11:16 am

    such a taboo topic and would love to read this book and will pass it on –

    Reply
  99. Madam Pince says

    August 4, 2008 at 11:05 am

    I’ve suffered from depression since my teens, and suicidal periods have always been a part of that. It’s so very hard to explain to others why, when you’re in the depths of despair, taking your life doesn’t seem selfish, but a gift. Sounds like Joan Wickersham discovered this in coming to terms with her dad’s death.

    Reply
  100. Nodins Nest says

    August 4, 2008 at 10:20 am

    I would think this book could help a lot of people cope. Sounds like a good read.

    Reply
  101. Maja says

    August 4, 2008 at 9:36 am

    My uncle committed suicide long time ago and left behind a wife and 4 kids. Awful.

    Reply
  102. SarahHub says

    August 4, 2008 at 9:17 am

    My college boyfriend committed suicide my sophomore year. It was devastating. He had so much going for him – he was handsome, fun, stylish. He was so good to me. But he was tormented with things I can’t comprehend. It still breaks my heart…

    I would love to read another perspective on this topic.

    Reply
  103. Kim says

    August 4, 2008 at 8:57 am

    This book sounds very interesting. I would like to know what makes a person go from just thinking about suicide to actually doing it, and also the impact on the persons family.

    Reply
  104. James Jenkins says

    August 4, 2008 at 7:50 am

    wow

    Reply
  105. Jan says

    August 4, 2008 at 7:45 am

    Unfortunately my family has experienced more than it’s share of suicides and this is a book I plan to read.

    Reply
  106. Hil'Lesha says

    August 4, 2008 at 7:11 am

    Sounds interesting!

    Reply
  107. Heather Lessiter says

    August 4, 2008 at 6:35 am

    I didn’t realize how common suicide is, either. This sounds like a very interesting read. Thanks for the review!

    Reply
  108. Adrienne! says

    August 4, 2008 at 3:40 am

    Meeeee!!!

    Reply
  109. Eryn says

    August 4, 2008 at 3:22 am

    It hurts me that sometimes the people we love so much have so much going on inside of them that we never know about, sometimes until it’s too late. Our tiny town of 300 was rocked this last summer when one of our high seniors committed suicide. And everyone felt a sense of shame when his father followed him in the same manner not 6 weeks later. We need to learn how to talk to people, while we were blind sided by the boy, we should have known to rally together for the father. I can’t even imagine the pain. We’re still trying to find ways to discuss this issue, I would be very interested in this woman’s PoV.

    Reply
  110. Wendy T says

    August 4, 2008 at 12:48 am

    Two years ago when life was really, really bad for me suicide was something that I was planning out and actually was very lucky that I had an astute husband and friend who figured out what was happening and got me the help I needed. I now wake up every day and look at my three kids and I know that I did the right thing by NOT ending my life. Even if I don’t win, this will be going on my library read list.

    I also have a US address.

    Reply
  111. peggy lee says

    August 4, 2008 at 12:48 am

    I’ve never experienced anything like this but it sounds like it is a good book to read to broaden my horizons.

    Reply
  112. Mozi Esme's Mommy says

    August 4, 2008 at 12:37 am

    Sounds like an interesting book. My husband has recently been tackling the suicide topic (http://higherthoughtsofnuderealities.blogspot.com/)

    I do have a US address.

    Reply

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