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5 Minutes for Books–The Other Mother

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The Other Mother by Gwendolen Gross is a must-read novel for moms. This book is the perfect combination of skillful writing, dramatic suspense, and a thought-provoking topic. Ms. Gross manages to write a book that does not take sides on the unwinnable Mommy Wars. Sometimes the women’s actions are noble and sometimes they are detestable or debatable, yet most mothers will identify with the motivation that the opposing characters share: to give all you have to your children without losing yourself.

In The Other Mother, we meet Andrea, a first-time mom who plans to return to work shortly after the birth of her daughter; and Thea, a seasoned mom of three, who bakes brownies and tends her garden with an enviable air of contentment about her. Andrea and Thea are brought together by the suburban New Jersey neighborhood into which Andrea and her husband have just moved. Gwendolen Gross’ page-turning novel is driven by the tension and attraction between these two women. The novel is written in sections which alternate point-of-view between Andrea and Thea. The women’s thoughts and actions speak for themselves in the first-person telling. “You are more complicated than you seem. But you gave up your own life for this,” Andrea observes to Thea other-mother.jpgand immediately claps her hand over her mouth trying to erase the words that hang in the air. This is the comment that neither woman can forget, because at the core of the choice that each woman makes in regard to her children is the issue of what others think of our decision. The author rightly observes that others judge not only our choice to care for our children full-time or to balance full-time work with a family, but our choice of clothing and even things which we don’t necessarily choose, such as our body type and confidence level, and the actions of our husbands.

The story of a woman’s choice cannot be accurately told without the backdrop of a mother’s love. She perfectly captures this complex reality, from the beauty of a newborn baby to the tender release of your firstborn into adulthood and everything in between. These excerpts of dialogue illustrate the descriptive writing and dead-on understanding of women that you will find in this book:

It hurt to love someone like this, someone who was letting me go every time she walked away.

This was my new normal: juggling guilt and longing. Perhaps the women who stayed home just had more guilt in the mix and succumbed to it, women like Thea, who clearly had talents other than wiping noses and making suppers.

Sometimes, when they were all in the car. . . I forgot, for a guilty, delicious moment or two, that I was a mother of three, on errands, the person in charge.

This is a story about women. The men exist only as seen or recalled through their wives’ memories or interpretations: “I was right from the start, right to fall in love with him. He knew how to pay attention, he wanted to know people. He wanted to know me, even if usually the conversations we had now were about braces for Carra and something new and cute Iris said, about Oliver’s dietary habits instead of about our deepest desires and needs.”

Because of the neutral tone and the way this book addresses the issues that all moms face, this would be a great book club selection, or a book to read and pass around amongst friends. I rate this a strong PG-13 for some thematic elements and occasional use of strong language (Check out my rating info in my profile).

Click here to read more of my thoughts on this book and an interview with the author. Find out more information about Gwendolen Gross and her books on her author site. You are also invited to participate in her free writing workshop blog, “The Other Mother–for Moms Who Want to Write.”

The author has donated two copies that can ship in the U.S. or Canada, so if you would like to win, please leave a comment here. We will announce the winners Monday in our next column.

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97 Comments

  15. I hope I’m not to late to add my name to the hat.

    For some reason this book cover got my attention plus you did a great write up on it.

    Reply

  17. Thank you for another awesome review!

    You’ve done it again -another great read to my list of “Books I Need To Read.”

    Please enter my name too. 🙂

    Reply

  19. Sounds like something that could help me with my own internal struggle on whether to keep working or let go and be home with my daughter.

    Reply

  24. Whether I win or not – this sounds very interesting. It is always such a process to find out what it means to be a “mom”. I am blessed to be a mom and don’t want to judge anyone.

    Reply

  27. New book is always interesting to someone who doesn’t have alot of time for reading! Thanks for the contest.

    Reply

  37. This book sounds wonderful! It sounds like the story goes to the very core of every mother’s “fears” and questions about their own choice in motherhood. Thanks for the review!

    Reply

  48. I’d love to win! IN the mean time, I’m adding it to my “to be read” list….so I can request it at our local library!

    Thanks!
    Ramie

    Reply

  50. Please count me in. The subject of this book is a very hot topic these days and sounds like an amazing read.

    Reply

  56. hi! would love to be entered in this contest; i have given the thought of becoming a writer one day some serious thought as of lately…

    Reply

  65. I can’t wait to read this book! Please don’t enter me as I am pretty sure I have one on the way to me already!

    Steph

    Reply

  76. Sounds like a good read with a slightly different view of the traditional Mommy War stories. I would be interested in reading it and sure I would enjoy it very much!

    Reply

  95. I’d love to see a book that can represent both sides of this issue without leaning towards one of the other. Please count me in!

    Reply