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5 Minutes for Books–The Other Mother

August 27, 2007 by Jennifer Donovan

This post may contain affiliate links. Read my disclosure policy here.

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The Other Mother by Gwendolen Gross is a must-read novel for moms. This book is the perfect combination of skillful writing, dramatic suspense, and a thought-provoking topic. Ms. Gross manages to write a book that does not take sides on the unwinnable Mommy Wars. Sometimes the women’s actions are noble and sometimes they are detestable or debatable, yet most mothers will identify with the motivation that the opposing characters share: to give all you have to your children without losing yourself.

In The Other Mother, we meet Andrea, a first-time mom who plans to return to work shortly after the birth of her daughter; and Thea, a seasoned mom of three, who bakes brownies and tends her garden with an enviable air of contentment about her. Andrea and Thea are brought together by the suburban New Jersey neighborhood into which Andrea and her husband have just moved. Gwendolen Gross’ page-turning novel is driven by the tension and attraction between these two women. The novel is written in sections which alternate point-of-view between Andrea and Thea. The women’s thoughts and actions speak for themselves in the first-person telling. “You are more complicated than you seem. But you gave up your own life for this,” Andrea observes to Thea other-mother.jpgand immediately claps her hand over her mouth trying to erase the words that hang in the air. This is the comment that neither woman can forget, because at the core of the choice that each woman makes in regard to her children is the issue of what others think of our decision. The author rightly observes that others judge not only our choice to care for our children full-time or to balance full-time work with a family, but our choice of clothing and even things which we don’t necessarily choose, such as our body type and confidence level, and the actions of our husbands.

The story of a woman’s choice cannot be accurately told without the backdrop of a mother’s love. She perfectly captures this complex reality, from the beauty of a newborn baby to the tender release of your firstborn into adulthood and everything in between. These excerpts of dialogue illustrate the descriptive writing and dead-on understanding of women that you will find in this book:

It hurt to love someone like this, someone who was letting me go every time she walked away.

This was my new normal: juggling guilt and longing. Perhaps the women who stayed home just had more guilt in the mix and succumbed to it, women like Thea, who clearly had talents other than wiping noses and making suppers.

Sometimes, when they were all in the car. . . I forgot, for a guilty, delicious moment or two, that I was a mother of three, on errands, the person in charge.

This is a story about women. The men exist only as seen or recalled through their wives’ memories or interpretations: “I was right from the start, right to fall in love with him. He knew how to pay attention, he wanted to know people. He wanted to know me, even if usually the conversations we had now were about braces for Carra and something new and cute Iris said, about Oliver’s dietary habits instead of about our deepest desires and needs.”

Because of the neutral tone and the way this book addresses the issues that all moms face, this would be a great book club selection, or a book to read and pass around amongst friends. I rate this a strong PG-13 for some thematic elements and occasional use of strong language (Check out my rating info in my profile).

Click here to read more of my thoughts on this book and an interview with the author. Find out more information about Gwendolen Gross and her books on her author site. You are also invited to participate in her free writing workshop blog, “The Other Mother–for Moms Who Want to Write.”

The author has donated two copies that can ship in the U.S. or Canada, so if you would like to win, please leave a comment here. We will announce the winners Monday in our next column.

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About Jennifer Donovan

Jennifer Donovan has been a part of the 5 Minutes for Mom team since 2007. She writes product reviews, covers events, and manages the 5 Minutes for Books weekly column and website. She lives in Houston and blogs at Snapshot about life with her family.

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97 Comments

  1. Trina Matthews says

    November 7, 2007 at 8:22 pm

    I love a good book!

    Reply
  2. Gwendolen Gross says

    October 10, 2007 at 2:21 pm

    Wow–so much interest, thank you! And thank you for such a thoughtful review!
    Best wishes,
    Gwendolen Gross
    http://www.the-other-mother.com

    Reply
  3. Bonnie says

    September 2, 2007 at 12:58 am

    Sign me up…sounds good.

    Reply
  4. Jenna says

    August 31, 2007 at 11:08 pm

    I’m always up for a free book!

    Reply
  5. Kelli says

    August 30, 2007 at 2:58 pm

    Sounds like a great book! Thanks for the review.

    Reply
  6. Jessica says

    August 29, 2007 at 8:17 pm

    I’m definitely intrigued!

    Reply
  7. Tricia says

    August 29, 2007 at 8:02 pm

    Sounds like a book I would love.

    Reply
  8. Kelly says

    August 29, 2007 at 3:41 pm

    Sounds interesting. Thanks for the opportunity.

    Reply
  9. Ashley says

    August 29, 2007 at 12:35 pm

    love to read and would love to read this!

    Reply
  10. Brandy says

    August 29, 2007 at 11:26 am

    Ooo, I just love books!

    Reply
  11. Amy says

    August 29, 2007 at 10:10 am

    Looks like an interesting book. Please enter me into your drawing.~Amy

    Reply
  12. Heather says

    August 28, 2007 at 11:01 pm

    Sounds good. Enter me please!

    Reply
  13. Jen says

    August 28, 2007 at 12:20 pm

    Sounds like an awesome idea for a book! I’d love one!

    Reply
  14. Angela says

    August 28, 2007 at 12:17 pm

    I’d be interested in having a copy to read.

    Reply
  15. peppylady says

    August 28, 2007 at 11:55 am

    I hope I’m not to late to add my name to the hat.

    For some reason this book cover got my attention plus you did a great write up on it.

    Reply
  16. Emily S says

    August 28, 2007 at 11:43 am

    Sounds like a good book!!!
    Count me in

    Reply
  17. Karla Meachem (Empowering Christian Women) says

    August 28, 2007 at 10:53 am

    Thank you for another awesome review!

    You’ve done it again -another great read to my list of “Books I Need To Read.”

    Please enter my name too. 🙂

    Reply
  18. Amy A. says

    August 28, 2007 at 9:27 am

    Great review. You have me hooked.

    Reply
  19. T with Honey says

    August 28, 2007 at 9:12 am

    Sounds like something that could help me with my own internal struggle on whether to keep working or let go and be home with my daughter.

    Reply
  20. Carrie says

    August 28, 2007 at 9:11 am

    Sounds very interesting. I would love to win it too. 🙂

    Reply
  21. Ashley Rutherford says

    August 28, 2007 at 2:43 am

    I would love to win a copy of this. Sounds interesting!

    Reply
  22. Dawn says

    August 28, 2007 at 12:50 am

    This sounds really good.

    Reply
  23. Michelle says

    August 27, 2007 at 11:36 pm

    Sounds interesting!

    Reply
  24. JewelsHud says

    August 27, 2007 at 10:46 pm

    Whether I win or not – this sounds very interesting. It is always such a process to find out what it means to be a “mom”. I am blessed to be a mom and don’t want to judge anyone.

    Reply
  25. Caryn says

    August 27, 2007 at 10:45 pm

    I really want to read this. I just had a baby 9 weeks ago.

    Reply
  26. Tammy says

    August 27, 2007 at 10:32 pm

    Would love this opportunity to win this book. Thanks for the contest.

    Reply
  27. Tammy Ortman says

    August 27, 2007 at 10:32 pm

    New book is always interesting to someone who doesn’t have alot of time for reading! Thanks for the contest.

    Reply
  28. Myrna says

    August 27, 2007 at 10:26 pm

    Me too!

    Reply
  29. Jen in MS says

    August 27, 2007 at 10:21 pm

    Please count me in! Thanks!

    Reply
  30. Susanne says

    August 27, 2007 at 9:51 pm

    I would love to win this book, Jennifer. Please add me.

    Reply
  31. Jessica says

    August 27, 2007 at 9:50 pm

    Love to read! count me in

    Reply
  32. Jill says

    August 27, 2007 at 9:28 pm

    Always love a good book!

    Reply
  33. Jodi says

    August 27, 2007 at 9:19 pm

    Looks like a good book, count me in!!

    Reply
  34. Holly says

    August 27, 2007 at 8:54 pm

    Sounds very poignant. Please include me in the drawing. Thanks!

    Reply
  35. Jana (sidetrack'd) says

    August 27, 2007 at 8:43 pm

    Sounds like a great read. Thanks!

    Reply
  36. Marybeth Whalen says

    August 27, 2007 at 8:41 pm

    I would love to win this book– as this sounds like a book I would actually read!

    Reply
  37. Robin H says

    August 27, 2007 at 8:40 pm

    This book sounds wonderful! It sounds like the story goes to the very core of every mother’s “fears” and questions about their own choice in motherhood. Thanks for the review!

    Reply
  38. Amy says

    August 27, 2007 at 8:10 pm

    Please enter me…sounds like a really good book!

    Reply
  39. Stephanie says

    August 27, 2007 at 6:49 pm

    I have heard so much about this book – and I’d love to own a copy. Please sign me up!

    Reply
  40. Jen says

    August 27, 2007 at 6:22 pm

    I’d love to have a copy!

    Reply
  41. Thea says

    August 27, 2007 at 4:37 pm

    I want this book if for no other reason than one of the characters is named THEA!! Count me in, please.

    Reply
  42. Amy W says

    August 27, 2007 at 3:58 pm

    Always looking for a good read!

    Reply
  43. Sarah says

    August 27, 2007 at 3:57 pm

    Please enter me. Thanks.

    Reply
  44. bee says

    August 27, 2007 at 3:05 pm

    Sounds great!

    Reply
  45. Connie says

    August 27, 2007 at 2:58 pm

    This book is a great idea! Please, please, please enter me!

    Reply
  46. Melinda says

    August 27, 2007 at 2:40 pm

    Interesting. I know I would pass it on.

    Reply
  47. Shauna says

    August 27, 2007 at 2:31 pm

    I’ve played both roles as well and it sounds like an interesting book!

    Reply
  48. Ramie says

    August 27, 2007 at 1:47 pm

    I’d love to win! IN the mean time, I’m adding it to my “to be read” list….so I can request it at our local library!

    Thanks!
    Ramie

    Reply
  49. Alexia says

    August 27, 2007 at 1:32 pm

    This sounds like a good book, please enter me!

    Reply
  50. TheAngelForever says

    August 27, 2007 at 1:32 pm

    Please count me in. The subject of this book is a very hot topic these days and sounds like an amazing read.

    Reply
  51. Sarah says

    August 27, 2007 at 1:29 pm

    Sounds like a really great read. Count me in.

    Reply
  52. lisa says

    August 27, 2007 at 1:22 pm

    Please sign me up, it sounds like a great book! thanks!

    Reply
  53. Teresa says

    August 27, 2007 at 12:56 pm

    sounds like a really neat book, count me in on the drawing!

    Reply
  54. jenna says

    August 27, 2007 at 12:38 pm

    Enter me please.

    Reply
  55. Ginny says

    August 27, 2007 at 12:37 pm

    Enter me 🙂

    Reply
  56. Beth says

    August 27, 2007 at 12:36 pm

    hi! would love to be entered in this contest; i have given the thought of becoming a writer one day some serious thought as of lately…

    Reply
  57. oh amanda says

    August 27, 2007 at 12:21 pm

    I’m intrigued!

    Reply
  58. Greenstylemom says

    August 27, 2007 at 11:53 am

    I need a new book to read!

    Reply
  59. Saph -Walk With Me says

    August 27, 2007 at 11:39 am

    Sounds like a really great book!! Count me in!

    Reply
  60. Lori says

    August 27, 2007 at 10:16 am

    Beth,
    This sounds like me and another mother I know. I would love to read this book.

    Reply
  61. Beth says

    August 27, 2007 at 9:59 am

    sounds like a great book! I’d love to have a copy!

    Reply
  62. Sara says

    August 27, 2007 at 9:51 am

    This looks like a great read! Thanks for the review.

    Reply
  63. Mama Zen says

    August 27, 2007 at 9:50 am

    I would love to win this book!

    Reply
  64. CPA Mom and Soccer Mom Angela says

    August 27, 2007 at 9:48 am

    I really, really want to read this book. Hope I win!

    Reply
  65. Adventures In Babywearing says

    August 27, 2007 at 9:41 am

    I can’t wait to read this book! Please don’t enter me as I am pretty sure I have one on the way to me already!

    Steph

    Reply
  66. Jennifer says

    August 27, 2007 at 9:13 am

    Sounds like a really interesting read…I’m in, please! 🙂

    Reply
  67. lifeasamama says

    August 27, 2007 at 9:09 am

    oh i’d love a chance to win! that sounds like a great read…

    Reply
  68. corinne says

    August 27, 2007 at 9:06 am

    I’d love to win! Can’t wait to read this book!

    Reply
  69. Stephanie says

    August 27, 2007 at 9:02 am

    I would like a chance to win! 🙂

    Reply
  70. Donna says

    August 27, 2007 at 8:53 am

    Sounds like a great book!

    Reply
  71. stacey says

    August 27, 2007 at 8:47 am

    a good excuse to read an actual book!

    Reply
  72. Debi says

    August 27, 2007 at 8:42 am

    Wow…this sounds like a good one! Definitely adding to my TBR pile whether I win it or not!

    Reply
  73. stephanie says

    August 27, 2007 at 8:36 am

    Yes, please.

    Reply
  74. Michelle says

    August 27, 2007 at 8:29 am

    This sounds like a great book. I would love to be entered.

    Reply
  75. ktjrdn says

    August 27, 2007 at 8:21 am

    Sounds great. I’d love to win a copy

    Reply
  76. Ruth :) says

    August 27, 2007 at 8:19 am

    Sounds like a good read with a slightly different view of the traditional Mommy War stories. I would be interested in reading it and sure I would enjoy it very much!

    Reply
  77. motomom says

    August 27, 2007 at 8:12 am

    Sounds like a good read.

    Reply
  78. Liz says

    August 27, 2007 at 8:11 am

    Sounds very interesting. Count me in.

    Reply
  79. emily says

    August 27, 2007 at 7:17 am

    Sounds like a great read.

    Reply
  80. Melissa Markham says

    August 27, 2007 at 6:38 am

    This sounds like a great book! I would love to win a copy. Thanks!

    Reply
  81. Christelle says

    August 27, 2007 at 2:33 am

    Would LOVE it 🙂

    Reply
  82. Jo says

    August 27, 2007 at 1:59 am

    I’ve seen this book around and would love a chance to get my hands on one. Please enter me as well!

    Reply
  83. Bev says

    August 27, 2007 at 1:18 am

    Here is my entry.

    Reply
  84. Monya says

    August 27, 2007 at 1:16 am

    I’ve been looking for a good book to read – this sounds right up my alley!

    Reply
  85. Karen says

    August 27, 2007 at 12:50 am

    Wow, this sounds good, please count me in!

    Reply
  86. Laura says

    August 27, 2007 at 12:43 am

    I would love to win a copy of this. Sounds interesting!

    Reply
  87. melody is slurping life says

    August 27, 2007 at 12:43 am

    Jennifer, excellent review, thank you. Please include me in the drawing.

    Reply
  88. Nikki says

    August 27, 2007 at 12:41 am

    Hey. This seems like it would be a good ready! Count me in Please!!!

    Reply
  89. Christina says

    August 27, 2007 at 12:32 am

    I’m ready to dive into a good book, and this sounds like a great read! Thanks!

    Reply
  90. Laura says

    August 27, 2007 at 12:25 am

    Enter me please! Sounds interesting!

    Reply
  91. Kara says

    August 27, 2007 at 12:23 am

    Sounds like a really good book! I’m always looking for something new to read 🙂

    Reply
  92. Deb says

    August 27, 2007 at 12:23 am

    I’ve been on both sides of this issue – this sounds like a great book! 🙂

    Reply
  93. michelle says

    August 27, 2007 at 12:20 am

    Hi Ladies oh i can’t wait to read this book.thanks;-)

    Reply
  94. Laura says

    August 27, 2007 at 12:20 am

    Enter me please! Sounds interesting!

    Reply
  95. Wendy says

    August 27, 2007 at 12:19 am

    I’d love to see a book that can represent both sides of this issue without leaning towards one of the other. Please count me in!

    Reply
  96. Cole's Mama says

    August 27, 2007 at 12:11 am

    This sounds like a good read. Sign me up!

    Reply

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