Who I Am
This weekend, I took advantage of our state’s tax free shopping. The parking lots were full, the stores were beyond crowded, and the lines at the register were crazy long. It looked like Christmas Eve, but I couldn’t resist the sales along with not being taxed. Our new budget has me living as frugally as possible.
After dumping an array of clothing on the counter for my growing 10-year-old daughter, the store clerk went through the usual routine of ringing up the merchandise. I swiped my handy debit card, put in my PIN, and waited for the transaction to be processed. My left eyebrow arched when I noticed her calling the manager of the store over.
“Excuse me, ma’am, but the computer has indicated that your account has been locked. I am sorry, but I have to confiscate your card.”
My face flushed. I felt dead weight in my gut. It wasn’t from shame of not having enough money in my account, I knew I did. That morning I had verified funds online and had even used my card at another store just minutes ago. Worries of fraud flooded my thoughts. My bank was closed and the next day was Sunday, so I had plenty of time to contemplate my identity being stolen.
By Monday morning, I had come to terms with my identity…
I am a saint.
I am redeemed.
I am a child of God.
I am a friend of Jesus.
I am free from condemnation.
I am seated in heavenly places.
I am the salt and light of the earth.
I am a member of the body of Christ.
My identity is in Christ. Can that really be stolen? I think not! If we are His children, we are sealed by the Holy Spirit. Nothing can separate us from His love.
For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels,
nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come,
Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:38-39
As for my debit card, I soon discovered it had a faulty chip in it which caused the whole mix-up. Things did not appear the way they seemed to be.
So often, there are circumstances, voices, and doubts that cloud our being able to understand who we are in Christ. That does not change the truth though. When we fully grasp our identity as believers, our thoughts, words, and actions begin to line up. Appropriate that which was wrought for you at Calvary. Remember, this position is not attained by any effort of your own, but by the love, mercy, and kindness of Jesus and His redemptive work at the cross and through His resurrection. It is yours. Walk in it.
A Steep Climb
During a recent play-date at Chick-Fil-A, my 16-month-old son climbed to the top of the playscape to explore the overhead tunnel. This was his first attempt at tackling the Godzilla of toys.
It was not an easy climb for a little guy. His big sister stood near as his spotter, but resisted the urge to hoist him upward. In addition to reaching his goal, my son did something else I wasn’t expecting from him. Each time he reached the next level, he screamed with terror; yet instead of reaching toward me for rescue, he garnered composure and stretched his 24-pound body toward the next step. When he finally landed safely in the tunnel, he excitedly stomped his feet and squealed a triumphant cry.
My journey to becoming the woman I was designed to be shares a few similarities with my son’s physical milestone. Sometimes, small steps of victory invoke more fear than the climb itself. Why? Following Jesus is not safe. In fact, obedience often takes me out of my comfort zones.
Paradoxically, deeper fellowship with the Prince of Peace, the securer of my eternity, can hurl me into uncharted territories. It is a process of refining, and sometimes it’s even scary. Loving others as much as I love myself, forgiving someone who has scarred my soul, and serving the wounded in spirit leave me vulnerable to embarrassment, schemes, and rejection. It is not safe. Some steps of obedience cause me to shudder. But I see the prize, so I continue toward it.
Bless our God, O peoples, and sound His praise abroad, Who keeps us in life, and does not allow our feet to slip. For You have tried us, O God; You have refined us as silver is refined. Psalm 66:8-10 (New American Standard Bible)
Unlike my toddler’s trip, my quest requires assistance. I need the support of my siblings in Christ in the form of prayer, fellowship, accountability, and Biblical counsel. I need my gear, which is the Word of God. And, I need the hand of the One whose image I long to reflect. Without Him to steady me, bandage me, comfort me, and guide me, I would remain frozen in fear with my terrorized scream wailing like an emergency siren.
When my precious Jesus leans down and whispers in my ear, “Don’t give up. This is for my glory or I would not ask this of you. I promise you that in spite of any injuries you suffer along the way, victory is guaranteed,” I can look up to the next step and continue my climb, and the closer I get to Jesus, the clearer I see the beauty that fences the journey. Could there be any better reason to rejoice?
I Wanna Talk About Me!
Don’t be selfish; don’t live to make a good impression on others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourself. Don’t think only about your own affairs, but be interested in others, too, and what they are doing. Phil. 2:3-4 NLT
Country singer Toby Keith sings a song that we jokingly sang to our oldest daughter when she was too demanding of our time. Meghan, our sixteen year old, will always remember her father and I singing I Wanna Talk About Me off tune and much too loudly, while we were driving on a family vacation. After what felt like hours of our oldest child talking on and on about herself, her life, her thoughts, her, her, her, we just couldn’t take it anymore. In unison we sang;
I wanna talk about me
Wanna talk about I
Wanna talk about number one
Oh my me my
What I think, what I like, what I know, what I want, what I see
I like talking about you you you you you, usually, but occasionally
I wanna talk about meeeeeeee!
Our other three children started cracking up. They too had been held hostage by their oldest sister and her me, me, me, attitude for far too long. It was a true Kodak moment.
If we were to be honest with ourselves, often times teenagers are no different than any of us. As adults we’ve just learned to be a bit more discreet about our selfish natures. There are three huge steps that trip me up every single time in this Christian walk of mine. I’ve named these three boulders on my daily path, me, myself and I. When my husband and I are talking, I am just aching to put in my two cents, no matter what the topic. He will just stop mid-sentence and say, “You are just waiting to talk aren’t you?” Well, of course! Me, myself and I, have some mighty wisdom to impart.
As ugly as my nature can be, I can sniff out the selfish nature in another person like a police dog. Once I find it in someone else I can become quite irritated. What a hypocrite, huh? Thankfully, the moment I reveal that ugliness in another, there’s a saying that immediately comes to mind and pierces my heart. A soft voice whispers to my soul, “My sin always looks worse on somebody else.”
Just this morning I was reminded of the times this week where I too had been selfish with my family and friends, putting my needs, my desires, my wants first. Back to the cross I went, asking the Lord to forgive my selfishness and to give me a heart like His. Thankfully, when we ask Him to forgive our sins, He is faithful to forgive us our sins.
The scripture above says it all. I’m to be humble, to think of others as better than myself and to actually take time to put thoughts of others and how they are doing ahead of my own. Today my selfish nature is getting a time-out. I am going to take a twenty-four hour fast from me, myself and I. I am going to focus on others today. In every conversation with my friends and family, I will keep the topic from being about my life, my thoughts or my needs. Not an easy task for someone who just wants to talk about me.
