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5 Minutes for Books–The Other Mother

The Other Mother by Gwendolen Gross is a must-read novel for moms. This book is the perfect combination of skillful writing, dramatic suspense, and a thought-provoking topic. Ms. Gross manages to write a book that does not take sides on the unwinnable Mommy Wars. Sometimes the women’s actions are noble and sometimes they are detestable or debatable, yet most mothers will identify with the motivation that the opposing characters share: to give all you have to your children without losing yourself.

In The Other Mother, we meet Andrea, a first-time mom who plans to return to work shortly after the birth of her daughter; and Thea, a seasoned mom of three, who bakes brownies and tends her garden with an enviable air of contentment about her. Andrea and Thea are brought together by the suburban New Jersey neighborhood into which Andrea and her husband have just moved. Gwendolen Gross’ page-turning novel is driven by the tension and attraction between these two women. The novel is written in sections which alternate point-of-view between Andrea and Thea. The women’s thoughts and actions speak for themselves in the first-person telling. “You are more complicated than you seem. But you gave up your own life for this,” Andrea observes to Thea other-mother.jpgand immediately claps her hand over her mouth trying to erase the words that hang in the air. This is the comment that neither woman can forget, because at the core of the choice that each woman makes in regard to her children is the issue of what others think of our decision. The author rightly observes that others judge not only our choice to care for our children full-time or to balance full-time work with a family, but our choice of clothing and even things which we don’t necessarily choose, such as our body type and confidence level, and the actions of our husbands.

The story of a woman’s choice cannot be accurately told without the backdrop of a mother’s love. She perfectly captures this complex reality, from the beauty of a newborn baby to the tender release of your firstborn into adulthood and everything in between. These excerpts of dialogue illustrate the descriptive writing and dead-on understanding of women that you will find in this book:

It hurt to love someone like this, someone who was letting me go every time she walked away.

This was my new normal: juggling guilt and longing. Perhaps the women who stayed home just had more guilt in the mix and succumbed to it, women like Thea, who clearly had talents other than wiping noses and making suppers.

Sometimes, when they were all in the car. . . I forgot, for a guilty, delicious moment or two, that I was a mother of three, on errands, the person in charge.

This is a story about women. The men exist only as seen or recalled through their wives’ memories or interpretations: “I was right from the start, right to fall in love with him. He knew how to pay attention, he wanted to know people. He wanted to know me, even if usually the conversations we had now were about braces for Carra and something new and cute Iris said, about Oliver’s dietary habits instead of about our deepest desires and needs.”

Because of the neutral tone and the way this book addresses the issues that all moms face, this would be a great book club selection, or a book to read and pass around amongst friends. I rate this a strong PG-13 for some thematic elements and occasional use of strong language (Check out my rating info in my profile).

Click here to read more of my thoughts on this book and an interview with the author. Find out more information about Gwendolen Gross and her books on her author site. You are also invited to participate in her free writing workshop blog, “The Other Mother–for Moms Who Want to Write.”

The author has donated two copies that can ship in the U.S. or Canada, so if you would like to win, please leave a comment here. We will announce the winners Monday in our next column.


About Jennifer D.

Jennifer Donovan has been a part of the 5 Minutes for Mom team since 2007. She writes product reviews, covers events, and manages the 5 Minutes for Books weekly column and website. She lives in Houston and blogs at Snapshot about life with her family.

96 Comments

  • 51
    August 27, 2007 | Permalink |

    Interesting. I know I would pass it on.

  • 52
    August 27, 2007 | Permalink |

    This book is a great idea! Please, please, please enter me!

  • 53
    August 27, 2007 | Permalink |

    Sounds great!

  • 54
    August 27, 2007 | Permalink |

    Please enter me. Thanks.

  • 55
    August 27, 2007 | Permalink |

    Always looking for a good read!

  • 56
    August 27, 2007 | Permalink |

    I want this book if for no other reason than one of the characters is named THEA!! Count me in, please.

  • 57
    August 27, 2007 | Permalink |

    I’d love to have a copy!

  • 58
    August 27, 2007 | Permalink |

    I have heard so much about this book – and I’d love to own a copy. Please sign me up!

  • 59
    August 27, 2007 | Permalink |

    Please enter me…sounds like a really good book!

  • 60
    August 27, 2007 | Permalink |

    This book sounds wonderful! It sounds like the story goes to the very core of every mother’s “fears” and questions about their own choice in motherhood. Thanks for the review!

  • 61
    August 27, 2007 | Permalink |

    I would love to win this book– as this sounds like a book I would actually read!

  • 62
    August 27, 2007 | Permalink |

    Sounds like a great read. Thanks!

  • 63
    August 27, 2007 | Permalink |

    Sounds very poignant. Please include me in the drawing. Thanks!

  • 64
    August 27, 2007 | Permalink |

    Looks like a good book, count me in!!

  • 65
    August 27, 2007 | Permalink |

    Always love a good book!

  • 66
    Jessica
    August 27, 2007 | Permalink |

    Love to read! count me in

  • 67
    August 27, 2007 | Permalink |

    I would love to win this book, Jennifer. Please add me.

  • 68
    August 27, 2007 | Permalink |

    Please count me in! Thanks!

  • 69
    Myrna
    August 27, 2007 | Permalink |

    Me too!

  • 70
    Tammy Ortman
    August 27, 2007 | Permalink |

    New book is always interesting to someone who doesn’t have alot of time for reading! Thanks for the contest.

  • 71
    Tammy
    August 27, 2007 | Permalink |

    Would love this opportunity to win this book. Thanks for the contest.

  • 72
    August 27, 2007 | Permalink |

    I really want to read this. I just had a baby 9 weeks ago.

  • 73
    JewelsHud
    August 27, 2007 | Permalink |

    Whether I win or not – this sounds very interesting. It is always such a process to find out what it means to be a “mom”. I am blessed to be a mom and don’t want to judge anyone.

  • 74
    August 27, 2007 | Permalink |

    Sounds interesting!

  • 75
    August 28, 2007 | Permalink |

    This sounds really good.

  • 76
    August 28, 2007 | Permalink |

    I would love to win a copy of this. Sounds interesting!

  • 77
    August 28, 2007 | Permalink |

    Sounds very interesting. I would love to win it too. :)

  • 78
    August 28, 2007 | Permalink |

    Sounds like something that could help me with my own internal struggle on whether to keep working or let go and be home with my daughter.

  • 79
    Amy A.
    August 28, 2007 | Permalink |

    Great review. You have me hooked.

  • 80
    August 28, 2007 | Permalink |

    Thank you for another awesome review!

    You’ve done it again -another great read to my list of “Books I Need To Read.”

    Please enter my name too. :)

  • 81
    August 28, 2007 | Permalink |

    Sounds like a good book!!!
    Count me in

  • 82
    August 28, 2007 | Permalink |

    I hope I’m not to late to add my name to the hat.

    For some reason this book cover got my attention plus you did a great write up on it.

  • 83
    August 28, 2007 | Permalink |

    I’d be interested in having a copy to read.

  • 84
    August 28, 2007 | Permalink |

    Sounds like an awesome idea for a book! I’d love one!

  • 85
    August 28, 2007 | Permalink |

    Sounds good. Enter me please!

  • 86
    August 29, 2007 | Permalink |

    Looks like an interesting book. Please enter me into your drawing.~Amy

  • 87
    Brandy
    August 29, 2007 | Permalink |

    Ooo, I just love books!

  • 88
    Ashley
    August 29, 2007 | Permalink |

    love to read and would love to read this!

  • 89
    August 29, 2007 | Permalink |

    Sounds interesting. Thanks for the opportunity.

  • 90
    August 29, 2007 | Permalink |

    Sounds like a book I would love.

  • 91
    August 29, 2007 | Permalink |

    I’m definitely intrigued!

  • 92
    August 30, 2007 | Permalink |

    Sounds like a great book! Thanks for the review.

  • 93
    August 31, 2007 | Permalink |

    I’m always up for a free book!

  • 94
    September 2, 2007 | Permalink |

    Sign me up…sounds good.

  • 95
    October 10, 2007 | Permalink |

    Wow–so much interest, thank you! And thank you for such a thoughtful review!
    Best wishes,
    Gwendolen Gross
    http://www.the-other-mother.com

  • 96
    November 7, 2007 | Permalink |

    I love a good book!

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