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Sophia is 2 and I haven’t even started thinking about taking away her paci (or soother as we call it).
But I was over at 5 Minutes for Parenting and read this post by Rachel.
At 2 years and 3 months old, Rachel decided it was time to take away her little girl’s paci. But surprisingly… it was Rachel that had second thoughts…
… [Her daughter] went to sleep happy, with no problem…
I, on the other hand, had second thoughts.
A couple hours after bedtime, I started missing the paci.
I missed the cuteness, the ability to quickly bring her comfort, the availability to give her a paci on a car trip and her to know immediately that it’s time to go nite-nite in the car, our conversations about paci, the way she removed her paci every night before giving me a kiss, I missed it all.
Why am I taking away her paci again? Because it was all I could do to keep from running into her room, waking her up, and begging her to take the paci back.
And that is exactly how I feel now… I don’t want my Sophia growing up. I want her to stay a baby who is soothed by a pacifier and snuggles up to sleep next to me.
But, I know it can’t go on forever… one of these days I’m going to have to help her give up her soothers. But WHEN and HOW???
Please tell me when and how you and your child let go of pacifiers?
ghd says
thank you for your work
Amy Nelson says
When my twin 3 year old girls chewed through the last ones, we took the pacis to the toy store and they picked out a toy and “paid” with the paci. The young kid at the counter looked at me like I had 2 heads when i told the girls to hand him their pacis and take their toys. I slid him my credit card so they didn’t see. One biddy never asked about it again and the other cried about it for a week at bed time, and still asks for it when she’s tired.
sandy says
Hi Susan, Nice to meet you. I met Janice in Chicago at Kraft Foods.
Couldn’t help but comment. Our son, the only “Nuk” lover, gathered all his Nuks and placed in a ziploc bag. We took them to the doctor and the doctor, one by one, tossed them in the garbage.
The doc became the bad guy, took the pressure off of us, as parents, and life went on. Garrett never asked for his Nuks again!
Sandy
Kimberlly says
I’m so glad that I never had to go through this ordeal. My oldest refused to ever take a paci at all and my younger stopped wanting one around 4 months old. Both of my siblings had the same luck with their kids. I guess we’re just not a paci-loving family!
Bess says
My daughter (now 4) loved her pacifiers! Yes, multiple…in her crib and around the house. 🙂 When she turned two, I started limiting daytime use and kept it mainly to nighttime. what it would do to her teeth was what prompted the start of limited use. 🙂 She was a little resistant but went with the flow. Nighttime was tougher, so I cut a little of the top off so she couldn’t suck on it. When we realized she would still suck on it, I cut more off. She cried a little bit, but she eventually just liked holding it in her hand at nighttime, which we didn’t mind. By the time she was 2.5 years, she started forgetting about the pacifier at night.
I must say, though, that I definitely missed the cuteness factor of it all and it was hard for me as her mommy to see her growing up! Things change SO quickly! 🙂
Linda S says
I posted about taking Lil Man’s ‘binky’. It is a day I will always remember. http://lindabelle.wordpress.com/2008/09/18/binkys-galore-gusgus-took-them-away/
Pamela M. Kramer says
I never gave her one. It drove my mom nuts! lol
Angie says
My kids have all been big binky lovers – except for my youngest. Mommy is the only pacifier he will use.
With my oldest 3, we just took the paci away – cold turkey – at the age of 2. Our 4th, however, was the hardest one to break of the paci. We ended up handing the pacis over to the Easter Bunny when she was about 2 and a half. If you want to read all about it, you can do so here: http://www.5vinezmonkeys.com/2009/04/she-handed-her-pacifiers-over-to-easter.html
Now, if you have any tips on how to get a baby to stop using Mommy as a pacifier, I’d love to hear them. Can’t exactly hand my boobs over to the Easter Bunny!
Michell says
We just got rid of my daughter’s passy about 2 months ago. I was really dreading this moment and it just kind of happened. I told her that Tinker Bell was coming to take her passy’s to give them to the babies since she wasn’t a baby anymore. She’s 2 1/2. She was OK with Tinker Bell coming to take them and hasn’t asked for them since. I really thought this would be a struggle, but it ended up being really easy! Well, except she has boycotted Tinker Bell lately.. but that’s a good thing… 😉 Good luck!
Michelle says
We got rid of my son’s paci when he was 18 months old because he was starting nursery at church and I did not even want to think of him swapping or taking someone else’s paci. It grossed me out.
I was also worried about how it would effect his teeth. My nieces teeth started poking out from her paci. Not good!
At first we just snipped the end so it would not work right. Mind you he only had it at night at this point. After a couple of days we just told him it was gone. He was fine and went right to sleep.
Heather says
My oldest never wanted one. My son loved his and kept his until he was almost 3. Probably too long, but I do a lot of things “wrong” that are very “right” for our family. My youngest is almost 17 months and still using binkies, but she’s also still nursing too, so. She’ll give it up when it seems right and not a moment sooner.
Victoria says
I never gave my kids a binky! I think if you just try to ween it away and give them something else to hold on to that may work?
Offer an exchange! The binky for a toy, blanky…how about a puppy;D….
Good Luck!:0)
Tricia says
I had the hardest time with the “binky” as we call it. I tried to get rid of it by following my friends advice….tell her the binky fairy took it….have her throw it away….cut holes in it. none of that worked too well, because as soon as she wanted it I would give it right back to her, because I couldn’t stand her to cry. Finally, we dropped the one-an-only binky in a parking lot during a huge rainstorm and I refused to buy more. When she asked for it I just told her we lost it in the rain and she never had it again!! So, I was FORCED to get rid of it, but I guess that was the only way for me!!
Annie says
We took the paci (nuk at our house) at 18 mos with my little girl. We did it during our VBS week at church. That way she was too tired to really fight for long. She cried 10 minutes the first night and then 2 every night after that. She stopped crying at bedtime when we started making her lay down and covered her with a blanket before we left the room. That really helped.
BHF says
nice story, thx a lot, I just discovered English written blogs, to improve my English.
Bernd Helmut Frank
Mindy says
My daughter doesn’t use a pacifier but she is a thumb sucker.. so technically her thumb is her pacifier. She is 3 now and we debate back and forth when to ‘wean’ her off of it (and how we’re going to manage to do that since it’s attached to her hand!). She only does it when she is sleepy, not feeling well or scared so I don’t think it’s a big deal. I was concerned when she was smaller and her teeth first starting coming in (you know all the stories you hear) but her pediatrician said it was fine. He said that studies show that a child that uses a ‘pacifier’ of some sort is less at risk for SIDS. I say we’re gonna give her a little more time. 😉 Great post. Thanks for sharing.
Susan says
Thank you Ladies all soooo much for your great suggestions!!!
When I get the nerve I’m going to try either the fairy or cutting off the ends… I’m not sure which yet. LOL
Bonnie says
I do not believe in taking it away. I have four children and they gave up their pacis at different times. My oldest son at the age of 4 (we lost it one night and he was like okay no probs).
My twins were different, daughter at the age of 2 1/2 and she just was not taking it anymore at night so I just tucked her in without it and she was fine.
My twin son on the other hand I was worried about a fight. But at the age of 3 1/2 he said it just did not feel right in his mouth anymore and he let it be at that.
Go with your gut. Every child is different and you know them best.
Best of luck.
Lindsey says
Oh, Moving Picture Storybooks (I did a review on them) has a DVD with a story called “No more paci’s” in it, and it is SOOOO cute! Basically the children are at a birthday party and they have to take the pacifiers out to be able to blow out candles, laugh, etc. I’ll be following this convo, I’m sure it’ll help me!
Lindsey says
Oh my, we just don’t want them to grow up, do we? *sigh* My daughter is 17 months. When I was young and stupid (about 17 months ago, hehe), I planned on taking the paci away by 12 months. My husband was like, “Are you crazy?” – lol. I have no idea when we’re going to do it, but I did hear of someone who sewed their paci’s into a build-a-bear so that they were attached to bear… not sure how it works but maybe they get tired of carrying the stuffed animal around? lol I don’t know, but I think it’s a really cute idea and I might do it. And then we don’t have to throw those sweet paci’s away….
Cat says
We actually lucked out and all three of our kids never took to pacifiers. But we did end up with one challenge. Our youngest who is 7 months old…she’s a thumb sucker. I haven’t got a clue how to break this as it’s not like I can just pluck her thumb off and be done with the problem.
Angie says
My son only had his “fo-fun” (as he called it) at nap and bed time. One afternoon I wrote a quick story about a fo-fun fairy, typed it up on Word, added some clip art, and printed it out. For a week or so we read the story. The basic premis was that the fo-fun fairy brings a special gift to new babies. When they grow up and turn in to big boys (or girls), they leave the fo-fun in a special box. In exchange, the fo-fun fairy leaves a treat. After about a week of the story, he left his fo-fun and was left a pair of sunglasses and candy in its place.
He hasn’t asked for it since. We also had my parents do the same thing at their house the next time he stayed there (since he had fo-funs there too). We still read the book at night from time to time. He loves the story!
Bonnie Walker says
When our daughter was maybe 2 1/2 we started to limit the binky to just nap and bedtime, mostly because it was so difficult to understand what she was saying with a binky in her mouth! After she woke up from sleeping, she put it in a “binky jar”. When it was close to her 3 year old birthday, we talked frequently about how when she turned 3 it would be time to throw binky away. That 3 year olds don’t need binkies anymore and she would be a big girl. So on her 3rd birthday, she woke up and threw it in the trash and that was it! I think it worked b/c we prepared her and lead her up to the “big day”.
Carrie says
I have no idea, as my children didn’t take pacifiers (oh, how I wished they would though!). However I just wanted to stop to say that picture is gorgeous because of the emotion it displays. The way she is snuggling into you and hold posessively onto you arm is just beautiful.
Dawn's Daily Life says
My youngest, Meghan, got rid of her paci at 2.5 years old. We talked about how other babies need pacifiers more than she does, and they don’t have any. I told her that Barney, her favorite character at that time, would take them and give them to babies that needed them. She was all for helping Barney out. She is almost 3 now, and she is still my snuggly little baby.
Nicole says
The rule in our house is that at age one, they are only for bedtime and naptime, and then we take them away completely at age 2. We just took away our youngest’s several weeks ago, and it was really easy. We talked it up for a few weeks beforehand, reminding him that he was a big boy now, and that pacis are for babies. Every night we had this same conversation. When it was time to throw them away, I got them all out, cut the ends off without him seeing, and he tried each one out and then threw them in the trash. He asked about them just a couple of times after that, maybe over three days’ time, and we were back to normal with no problem! He also sleeps with a stuffed dog and a lovey, and since they were still there, it eased the transition.
Good luck!
(here’s my post: http://heresthediehl.wordpress.com/2009/09/08/almost-2/)
Jenn says
My daughter was super attached to her paci’s- around 2 and a half we decided that it was time to part with them once and for all.
We called on the help of the “paci fairy” who told us she needed paci’s for the new babies in fairy land. We gathered up all the paci’s and put them in a gift bag, tied it with a ribbon and put it outside the door.
A few minutes later the doorbell rang and the “paci fairy” had come and taken the paci’s with her. She left a sweet teddy bear in the bag for my daughter- SO exciting!! 🙂
My daughter asked about the paci’s twice after that and I reminded her that the “paci fairy” had them and she had her new bear!! We had no problems after that!!
Good luck with your little one!! 🙂
Brandy says
Wish I could help … but our oldest put hers down at 6mo and never picked it up again. I didn’t do a thing to help her, she did it all on her own. And our youngest has never had a paci … she wouldn’t take it. She sucked on our fingers until about 2 months ago or so (she just turned a year old), but now she doesn’t even need or want that.
Pam says
Our daughter was a big paci user. At just over 2 1/2 years of age, she fll and hurt her lip, requiring stitches. She could not suck her pacifier. However she went to sleep holding it. That was when she broke the habit. But we were glad she did at that age.
Though our daughter was soothed by her pacifier, we decided not to give her brother one, and he became a thumb sucker. he only stopped sucking his thumb just before kindergarten.
Rachel says
Susan – thanks for the shout out and the continued conversation on the issue!
These are all great ideas and thoughts!
I originally wrote that post back in March, and I must say that I never managed to COMPLETELY take it away. She still gets it halfway through her nap each day – for some reason she’s always woken up halfway through, and it’s just TOO easy to immediately put her back to sleep. Without it, she wouldn’t fall back asleep, and naptime would be cut in half, and I just can’t stomach that.
So I figure that even though she’s almost three and I constantly feel guilty about it, surely it’s not horrible for her to have it for half a nap a day…especially if that means a twice as long nap!
But…I’m sure the issue will HAVE to be addressed, yet again, soon….and I’ll definitely use some of these ideas!
Bobbi S. says
I’m really no help. 😉
My 9 month old decided around 1 month old that she just didn’t want one. I was more sad than I thought I’d be because I was against them from the beginning. But my sister bought her some really cute ones with sayings on them, and alas, she never used them…
AJ Collins says
We decided to take it away from our son when he was around 19/20 months old… because I was going to have his little sister (6 months later)
We were down to 1 pacifier and it got stepped on one too many times… so it broke – I had him throw it away, he said bye bye and within a week he was perfectly fine.
My daughter is a different story… never a pacifier kid, she’s a thumb sucker… 4.5 yo and still sucks her thumb every night as she goes to sleep… not sure what we are going to do there.
I too missed the paci… for more selfish reasons… because it made him “be quiet” when I wanted him to… it was more comforting for me. 😉 Good luck!
Rebecca says
That’s a cute picture- and a very true post. I hate when my daughter moves on to new stages- even though she definitely needs to!
We haven’t gotten her away from the paci entirely. I’ve started by allowing it only for nap and bedtime. I just told her she’s a big girl and big girls don’t need pacis during the day. We made a game of throwing it back into the crib. Now, if I take her out of her room and she still has it, she gets fussy and mad and tells me we need to put it in her crib!
Now…getting it away from her at nap and bedtime…I have no idea how to do that!
Amy says
My oldest was sitting in church one day at the ripe age of 19 months, and all of a sudden spoke loud and CLEAR “I need my binky, Mama.” We got rid of it that day. I cut the end off. She kept telling me to “wash it, it’s dirty” and I kept telling her it’s broken, not dirty. Took her 40 minutes to settle down with it that first night, but after that = easy peasy.
Our middle child didn’t care for his pacifier and wouldn’t take it after he was about 8 months old. (lucky us!)
Our third was VERY attached and NEEDED the paci, but one night at about 14 months we couldn’t find one at bedtime. (Of course we found about 6 of them over the next few weeks) Her daddy put her to sleep. I asked him where she was. “In bed.” Without the paci?! No crying?! Alrighty, then!
Good luck to you. 🙂
Deb - Mom of 3 Girls says
We’ve never actually had to get rid of pacifiers – mainly because none of our girls would ever take one (not for lack of trying on our part though). Although they’ve had other ‘soothers’ – Abby never sucked on anything, but she is still way attached to her blankie at 8-1/2 years old… Hannah still sucks her thumb, as she has since she was 2 weeks old. And she always has the other hand on her belly button. Becca is the only one who never sucked on anything and doesn’t really have any kind of security item. Unless you count Mommy, that is. 😉
Claudia Medeiros says
Well , I breastfed my daughter for 3 years and she never used pacifiers . Now she’s 7 🙂
But , I used pacifier until the age of 4 and I must tell you it was so hard to quit it ! I still remember my grandfather trying to convice me that I should say good-bye for my pacifier … but I survived and here I am to tell you that … 🙂
Thanks for reminding me such childhood memories 🙂
Have a marvelous weekend ! 😀
Carole says
Well we thought it was going to be a huge ordeal with our son, and so we decided cold turkey, when he was 1 year old would be the way to go. Yeah, no problem. He didn’t fuss or nothing. Mind you, our kid has been that way with everything. Our 2nd one doesn’t take one any more – she is a finger sucker.
Carrie says
It’s still an ongoing thing for us, my son is 26 months old. He was totally addicted to his paci when he was a baby, then at about a year old was only using it in bed, so we didn’t worry much.
Then at 20 months he got a terrible stomach bug AND I was 9 months pregnant, so he started wanting it all the time. We decided it wasn’t a battle worth fighting, so let him keep it.
A couple of months ago, when our new baby was about 2 months old, I told my son that he was a big boy and could only use his paci in bed. So now we’re back to that. It has the added benefit of making him really happy to go to his crib fir naps and bedtime!
And today we are moving him to his toddler bed, so we’ll let him keep the paci until that transition is done. Then I think we’ll start getting rid of them from the house completely. Our new baby is a thumb-sucker, so we wont need them around for her and can just make them disappear…
Good luck to you when you do start! I’ve heard that snipping a hole in the pacis sometimes makes the kids not like them anymore.
Jennie says
I got rid of Faith’s at 18mos. I had read somewhere that anything more than that and you start running into their personalities.
I was on my way home from out-of-state one evening and I couldn’t find the paci (binky in my house). It was the perfect opportunity because the car would put her to sleep. When we got home, I just never got another one out.
My husband was out of town on business so I didn’t have to worry about him getting upset (and giving up) if she cried a while. But, she didn’t cry at all and she did fine. He got home from his trip and she was off the binky.
I hadn’t wanted her to have one in the first place and she seemed to not want one but, when I took her to daycare, they got her used to one so … 🙁
I kept the others for another 6mos just in case but she never asked for them so I never got them out. I threw them away when she was 2.
Angela in Ohio says
My kids didn’t have pacis–they never wanted them, but we gave our bottles up to Santa so he could feed the baby reindeer when they were around 2 years old. 😉
Erica says
At my house we have a paci-fairy. I did it with both older kids. We collected all the pacifiers and at night we leave them in a gift bag for the pacifairy. She then comes while they sleep to take the pacifiers and she leaves a gift to thank us.
Audrey got a backyardigans doll that sings and Isaiah got a guitar from the pacifairy. :)Isaiah had a harder time without his pacifier, so for a couple of weeks he slept with his guitar in his bed, and we reminded him that that is what he got for giving his pacifiers away. 🙂