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My latest post up at Guideposts is about my toddler’s tantrums…
The Two-Year-Old Tantrum
Getting to know what makes a toddler tick
“I got it!” My 21-month-old daughter falls on her back and holds my lip balm beyond my reach. Olivia is obsessed with lip balms and lipsticks, usually destroying every one she can find.
“Livvie…” I say in my stern mother voice. “Give me the lip balm, please.”
“No—it’s mine!” she refuses.
“Livvie, please give Mommy the lip balm,” I repeat.
“I keep it,” she insists, and the battle of wills begins.
Livvie won’t be 2 for a few more months, but you would never know it. Not only is she quite verbal for her age, but she can throw a tantrum worthy of a veteran 2-year-old.
Her latest trick is to scream a shrill protest that rises while her face turns bright red. She looks like her head is about to explode, and then she couples it was a fierce “I mean business” look in her eyes.
The first time she unveiled this new protest, I laughed out loud! She was so angry and so serious, all I could think was, Wow—this girl is going to have quite a temper!
Trying to prevent a wild red-face howl, I try out the “1, 2, 3” method on her.
“Livvie, you need to give the lip balm to Mommy or you are going to have a time out. One…two…” I pause and warn her, “Livvie…” And before I get to three, my testy toddler hands it over.
Shocked that it actually worked, I break into praise for her good choice and hug her.
As the mom also of a 7-year-old, I know all too well that you win some and you lose some. Besides, maybe Olivia is just going easy on me and saving her fiercest tantrums for when she actually does turn 2…
Click here to finish reading at Guideposts.com…
YOUR TURN: What about your kids??? When did your little ones unveil their strongest temper tantrums? Did their personalities as toddlers reveal their character as older children?…
Written by Janice.
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Tantrum Toddlers Researcher says
I have a niece. She’s 2 years old, I found it hard to deal with her but as I’ve learned from Tantrum Toddlers Researcher some tips and from then, I am not afraid to play with her anytime.
Lorie Shewbridge says
My older one didn’t have tantrums per say, he was just stubborn and would pout, the younger one, OH.MY.GOD — He would do what we called “the inverted C” because he would throw back his head and stretch he legs back and scream at a high-pitched “C” note that almost made your ears bleed. He had his first at about 20 mos. and lasted until about 30 mos., but were not very frequent.
They are now really wonderful young men, aged 21 and 18.
Jessica says
I have a two year old and a one year old (both boys) and the one year old by far has the more passionate temper!
The two year olds generally only shows itself when he is overtired or hungry. The one year old is a TOTALLY different story. He’s still easy going and a happy baby, but if something doesn’t go HIS way he lets you know he’s mad about it!
It’ll be interesting to see how they develop into older children and teens 🙂
We have definitely noticed they 1 yr old is more passionate and are already praying that God will turn his passionate (now temper…) into something good and God honoring.
Jeanette says
yeah, my daughter was very talented at the “tantrum in a public place” at only 18 months old! The first time she did it I just stood there in shock – she had been such a sweet and easy baby. Now all I have to do is lean in very close to her ear and whisper, “Do we need to take care of this in the car?” and she quickly changes her tune. Her brother is still learning this, however. It only took her a few marches straight out to the car (without any treats) for her to realize Mommy was going to win. The Beast apparently is going to take a LOT of trips out to the car…
Sky says
LOL, that “I keep it” reminds me of my almost 2 year old. When we are at the store she will say “I see it” you put anything in the cart, if you don’t she keeps at it, louder and louder until we are having a meltdown and EVERYONE in the entire store is hearing “I SEE IT!!”.
This too shall pass, right?
Jenn says
My Sweet daughter turned two in January. It was like someone flipped a switch. Now despite consistant and immediate discipline (time outs, spanking etc) I deal with stomping feet and “no!” a lot.
Some days I miss the baby days LOL.
Suzanne B (Crunchy green Mom) says
I have six beautiful, wonderful, individual children. My oldest is about to be 18 and my youngest is 18 months. Five girls and one boy.
NONE of my children have a temper like my youngest. She is bullheaded, tempermental and screams just like your little one. High pitched, shrill enough to shatter the glass in the french doors and followed with throwing herself on the ground and leaving me flabber-gasted.
I don’t get it with her, I am DREADing the teenage temper tantrums… I am gearing myself for a challenge of a lifetime!
She usually throws these fits when she thinks I’m leaving her, or when her sister who is 13 months older than her takes her stuff. They live to torment each other.
It will take time, the others learned… right? 🙂
Mama's Blog says
I always love to hear other people’s stories as it makes my life feel normal for a moment. We, too, are experiencing the joys of tantrums at 21 months. They started about 2 months ago. I’m trying time out but just last week had my 21 month old son as me to put him in time out right after he hit me. Patience is the best medicine for the tired mom’s soul.
Susan says
Sophia has started serious tantrums too. But she is not as verbal.
Yesterday she threw a screaming and kicking fit because she wanted new crackers instead of finishing the ones that she’d taken a bite out of. After a long fit she gave up and finished her crackers.
Jeannie Anderson says
Great article, Janice, especially since my little Jorie has been having ’em all afternoon. Talk about a defiant little booger, she kept walking into the street. When I’d scold her, she’d lay down in the street, taunting me with her I’m-gonna-torture-you-and-not-listen smile. I finally had to just take pictures to post on the blog, proof that she’s a little devil.
Kristi says
My boys are seven and almost five and I still use the 1,2,3 method. It still works so I will continue until it doesn’t anymore.
Melissa says
My youngest had his first tantrum at probably right under a year old. He used to lay down quickly, hitting his head on the floor or whatever he landed on. It was quite frightening for us, but he soon learned that that was not working the way he wanted; it only hurt his poor little noggin. Now he lays down much slower, but he still tries to throw his fits. It is not fun, and it’s hard knowing how to deal with it at first….but he’s slowly learning that fits usually don’t work to get him what he wants.:) I guess it just takes a lot of patience….
Casual Friday Every Day says
All of the time. Especially when it’s time to eat. 🙁
Nell