The Sampler – Confessions of A Mom

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5 Minutes for Mom brings you exclusive samplings from the best mom blogs in our weekly column, The Sampler, hosted by 5 Minutes for Mom contributing editor Shera, from A Frog In My Soup.

Meet Jamie, a mom of one who has been married to a great man for six years. She loves blogging about her family’s journey of living simply and shares the ideas that work for them. “I get very excited about things I learn or about the things we strive to do – so blogging is a great way to share the passion!” Jamie blogs at Baby Get Green.

Confessions of A Mom

It amazes me how quickly we can relate with one another as moms. I read blogs, written by women I’ve never met, and start crying because they’ve lost a child, had a child, took a child to school for the first time. It’s astonishing how I can empathize with someone who I’ve never met.

On the other hand, it is sad how quickly we can judge other moms. I’ve been thinking for a while now how mothering can often become about what so-and-so is doing, what we ought to do, or the latest parenting technique. We can easily end up feeling judged, inadequate, and unsure of ourselves. Even though there seems to be this ongoing struggle to live up to our own and others expectations of being a mom, I think there are ways to be at peace with where we are at and what our family currently looks like, thus, bringing simplicity to our homes and peace to our souls.

This past summer I started thinking about how great it would be if moms knew how they fit into life – work, family, kids, friends – and then did just that, whatever it may be, without guilt. As I talked with friends and other moms I started to realize the guilt that so easily creeps in. “I should be spending more time with my child, I should play with them more each day, I should want to stay home, I should want to work, I feel bad I need to get stuff done around the house…”.

After maternity leave with our daughter, I went back to work part time for about six weeks, leaving our daughter with my husband and sister (at varying times). The schedule stressed me out, I always felt rushed, I came home as soon as there was any problem and I realized that, after all the random expenses, I wasn’t bringing home that much money anyway. My husband and I decided it was better for me and our family that I stay home.

At the same time, I wanted to do something and not just be home full time. In the process (which of course is still happening), I am now working part time and I can bring our daughter with me. I also work on things that are of interest to me as she naps or during the late night hours. I hope more and more to find what’s best for us, knowing that as our family grows, and life continues to take shape with new opportunities, our family’s needs and roles will continue to change over and over again. Change is inevitable.

So, how do we know what’s right and what’s not for us? How do we not compare with the mom down the road, in our playgroup, at work, in church?

My conclusion is that we really have to spend time thinking about our home and our family. What are my priorities? What does my child need? What do I need? What does my partner in life and parenting think?

Ultimately, for our family, we prayed and asked God to reveal opportunities and give desires for the things that would be best for our family. That is what I believe peace is – seeking and doing what God is asking us to do and not worrying about what everyone else is doing. There is so much more to consider as I process this subject, but I’m thankful for the few conclusions I’ve come to and the peace that is currently in our home.

~Written by Jamie of Baby Get Green.

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This column is Hosted by Shera. She can be found at A Frog In My Soup