This post may contain affiliate links. Read my disclosure policy here.
How do you explain to a four year old boy why I won’t be buying Bratz dolls for Julia? (If anyone has any tips, please let me know.)
Yes, now that our precious Julia is in our lives, I look at the styles of girl’s clothing with new horror. As a youth worker, I have been far too aware of the fashion trends that young girls are presented with. But now as an aunt (and personal shopper) to my beloved Julia, I am horrified as each year the styles get worse. While she is only a toddler now, I know that all too soon I will be shopping in the girls’ section, rifling through short skirts and skimpy tops trying to find appropriate clothing for a young girl.
I remember being an eleven year old and refusing to take off my baggy t-shirt that covered my bathing suit! We would never have imagined walking around in skintight clothing that barely covered our adolescent bodies. My how times have changed!
It is a new and frightening world out there where six years old girls are dancing provocative moves they don’t even understand and wearing clothes that turn preadolescent girls into sexual objects.
Fortunately there are people demanding for it to stop and looking for an alternative. Jules at Everyday Mommy has presented a great idea called Moms for Modesty. It is receiving tons of support in the blogging world and if you haven’t check it out yet I encourage you to do so.
Our children are precious gifts from God and they deserve to be in a world that treats females with respect and not as sexual objects.
Sarah Andersen says
Hi! My name is Sarah Andersen and I am currently interning for Author and Speaker Dannah Gresh whose passion is for purity and modesty in tween and teen girls! We are hosting a nation-wide event this upcoming weekend (Oct 23-24) called Shop Til You Drop and we are hoping to have over 22,000 moms shopping at four stores that were voted as consistant providers of age appropriate clothing for young girls! If you go to our website at http://www.secretkeepergirl.com/Bod_Squad_Petition.aspx
you can see the stores we have chosen to support, print out a little thank-you card to give to the retailers, and also sign our petition to the fashion industry! I would love your help in spreading the word, maybe blogging about it and letting people know who care about modesty! Thank you so much for what you do and we hope we can join efforts on this one!
Shirley Rempel says
I have been on the lookout for an alternative to Bratz and Barbie ever since I found out I was pregnant with my girls….they are only 3 and 14mths but I so do not want to have those dolls in my home….I did find a nice alternative called Karito Dolls….very cool….modestly dressed and incorporates multiculturalism too:)
KellBell says
You are so right our girls should be treated with respect and not sexualized! There is petition that I really think that you would be interested in.Consider this fact: In 2003 1.6 million dollars were sold in thong sales to little girls alone! That is outrageous. I work for an organization that is speaking out against this and we are getting a petition signed and sent to fashion indsutry leaders to make them aware that sexaulization of these little girls are unacceptable! Take a minute a sign the petition…you can find it at secretkeepergirl.com.
Stephen Taylor says
Check out this new online source for fashionable modest clothing!
Christa Taylor Grand Opening Presents Modesty in a Whole New Light
Monday February 20, 3:00 pm
Spring Collection Provides Young Women with “Modish” Options
Vancouver, WA—Christa Taylor, a new clothing company, has made its message clear. As the visionary designer herself explains: “We are fashions for the Empowered Traditionalist. An Empowered Traditionalist, or ‘ET’, loves her clothes and believes modesty can be stylish and attractive.” Christa Taylor’s Spring Collection proves just that.
The company’s dream grew out of a infuriating, yet all too common experience. As a young lady, Taylor encountered weeks of frustrating shopping trips- trying to find something modest and attractive. Finding a modest bathing suit became a long and arduous affair, searching websites and retail stores to no avail. So she went to the drawing board and designed a new swimsuit that satisfied her desire for modesty and style (she calls it “modish:” a blend of modest + “chic”).
Updated frequently, her website http://www.christa-taylor.com/ demonstrates careful thought, and genuine care for her customers. “Expect new styles, ideas, and superior quality” Taylor affirms, “I am all about creating clothes that flatter real girls, satisfying their needs and building a trust relationship.”
The Christa Taylor team believes no business should exist just to make money. In the midst of an individualistic culture focused primarily on success, power and prestige, they are committed to a greater vision; a vision that presses beyond the tendencies towards self-absorption. With this in mind, and always aware of their own need, they have resolved to contribute at least 30% of their profits to the world’s poor and toward furthering social justice around the globe. Their first project is already under way.
For more information, please visit http://www.christa-taylor.com/ or call 1.888. 582. 4747. To schedule a press interview please contact Jocelyn Edlin @ 503. 459. 9871
Teresa says
response to : How do you explain to a four year old boy why I won’t be buying Bratz dolls for Julia?
Tell him the truth,in terms he can understand. It’s what I did when my boys pointed out things for their sister that I found objectionable. I simple told them those things were too old for her and would encouraged her to do or say things that would get her in trouble, then I told them to think about the name of the dolls…”Bratz”. Would they want their little sister to act bratty? The answer was a resounding NO.
Mary says
I feel blessed that my youngest daughter, Hannah, age 7 does not like the Bratz dolls. Her sisters ages 21 and 18 also do not like them, and will sometimes talk about them when we see them in stores ect.
I was a bit embarressed last Christmas, my brother was over with his children, the oldest a little girl a little older than Hannah, and the child was excited because she has recieved many Bratz dolls from her mother’s family for Christmas (my brother is divorced from this woman.) My dd Hannah, in a sweet way, said, “We don’t play with Bratz, because they are inappropriate for little girls.” I did later take her aside and ask her to please be more understanding, as her cousin is only responding to the enviroment she lives in (her mother has been married 4 times.) My brother didn’t have a problem with Hannah’s remark, as he hates the Bratz dolls as well, but his wife has nearly full custody and sadly, his opinion, as a man and as a father goes unheeded.
Hannah later did apologise to her cousin, and the child’s feelings were not hurt. She learned a lesson in judgementalness that day, and maybe her cousin had something to think about. 🙂
(please do not post my e mail address, thank you)
on the Rock says
we have the power to make a change for the better! we must demand it!
Sarah Zeldman says
Thought someone might like this. Resources for modest clothes. Jewish & Christian sites listed.
http://www.fmfcorp.com/familyspot/shopping.html
Susan says
I have four daughters, with the oldest being 15. I think you are doing exactly what you need to do in discussing this with your child when he is young. If you try to start enforcing modesty when the child is say, 12, you are too late. By then, ways of thinking are already engrained in them. I started talking modesty issues at 3 and 4 years old. We would watch pageants and discuss dress issues, (too low cut, no back, etc.) and swimming suit issues. As of right now, my daughters make their own decisions on clothing and I’m happy to say, we have no modesty issues. (Knock on wood). All of them are very aware of the sacredness of their bodies and try hard to dress “hip” but not skanky. It’s a huge blessing.
Chaotic Mom says
I haven’t thought about this much, but HAVE been very disgusted. I have three boys, and don’t like to think about who and WHAT they’ll be dating some day. You have me now thinking to start talking with them abou these things. Start now, planting seeds of decency, right? Thanks for getting me pointed in the right direction. I need to check out that site. 😉
laura says
how do you tell him no?
it’s easy. you say no. period.
you are the gown-up, the parent and he is the child, your child.
i know it’s hard. we don’t want to see our children hurt, sad or disappointed and we certainly don’t want to be the one to good. but again, you are the parent and he is the child and this is part of the job of raising kids. long with the fun, love and joy comes the tough decisions and sometimes disappointing our children. but ultimately it isn’t all that tough if your goal is to raise a godly young mad who has respect for women and appreciates that there is much more to a pretty girl than her physical beauty AND (this is my big pet peeve) that even if the girl doesn’t know better, he can contol his own self and continue to respect her. it starts now even when they are 4.
good luck!
Sarah Zeldman says
I’m in too. Modesty is BIG in my religious community (I’m an orthodox Jewish woman, but didn’t grow up orthodox. I chose it!)
We wear skirts that covers the knees, shirts that cover the elbow, necklines up to the collar bone & married women cover their hair (well, according to Jewish law they should, but many choose not too — that is the hardest one. I *do*)
All this may seem extreme — but it is not based on any sort of shame about our body. On the contrary, it’s based on the idea that when you cover your body, your true spirit can show through, instead of being judged on external, sexual, visual aspects of yourself.
I admit it sounds weird, but I found that as I began to dress more modestly, I felt more comfortable in my own skin. I could go up to any man and not worry about where he was looking or what he was thinking and I still looked & felt attractive (but not attracting!)
Anyway, girlfriend, This Jewish Mom is with you!
Rena says
Great points. Being my daughter is grown up this isn’t an issue, but aside from the cloths, just the name “Bratz” (brats) is demeaning.
Jenna says
Hi it is sooo nice to hear someone bring this topic up. In fact I was about ready to my own blog on the subject. My 7 year old loves these because her friends at public school last year bought her a bunch (since then the cleaning fairy has put them away lol) I was shocked to see the outfits but then she begged me to watch the bratz cartoon with her. Ok first off let me start by saying that I refuse to by my kids anything with the word bratz in it anyway to me that is just asking for trouble lol! Anyway when I watched the show I was floored! It was like the “valley girls” only ten times worse! The girls were snotty and very rude and very prissy and I was ready to send each character to their room by the end of the show. I told my daughter that we would not be watching that anymore and explained to her that those characters are bad examples of God’s word. He tells us to honor the mother and father, and to be respectful to others. Those girls did nothing of the sort and went out of their way to be backstabbing to the others. She surprisingly understood and has since stopped asking.
the clothes issue I also agree with. When I took my daughter shopping for kindergarten this was a day I had dreamed of because she is my only girl…boy was i dissappointed! Apparently these days we are not dressing kindergartners we are dressing very short hookers lol.
Cao!
Jenna
Jenny says
I loathe Bratz! Their big eyes freak me out! lol!! Thanks for passing along the Moms for Modesty link…I’m going to add the button to my blog tomorrow.
Thanks for visiting my blog and leaving a comment!
Heather says
We use the word modest when referring to dolls. My girls look at those awful Bratz dolls and say, “She’s not dressing modestly, is she?” We can’t stand them!
And have you seen the Halloween catalogs this year? There are some cute costumes, of course, but some of the diva/cheerleader costumes go way too far. Like the monster cheerleader costume, where the little girls wear black lipstick and black fingermails. No thanks!
Kailani says
Thanks for spreading the word. It’s a great idea!
Lisa S. says
I have 3 boys and 3 girls, all age 8 and under.
I am straightforward.
“No, we’re not buying that/watching that. They don’t wear enough clothes.”
If I need to digress, the conversation goes something like this:
God made our bodies special, and we cover them to keep them special. God wants us to love our bodies and take care of them, and one of the ways we do that is by covering them up and treating them with respect.”
Last Christmas we returned Bratz dolls that my 3 yr. old got.
But my kids will now notice it at the toy aisle.
“Mom!”., they’ll say, gleefully scandalized. “That doll doesn’t have enough clothes on!”
Kilikina (newmommy) says
Thanks for passing this on. I did it as well!
Kilikina
My Blog
Email Me
Ruth says
Fantastic.
I’m in.
fivetimemom says
With five daughters this is a hot topic for me….. I totally relate to your statement about always wearing a t-shirt over your bathing suit. I too was very self conscious of my pubescent body. My daughters however, are not. I am happy that they don’t feel ashamed of something that there should be no shame over. Having said that I definitly would love them to show a little more modesty. Just because you have something does not mean you need to flaunt it. I am o.k with them wearing the fitted t-shirts, but they are not allowed to wear short shorts, short skirts or short shirts. Skin tight items are also not allowed. A really good book for teen girls to read about this is called “Sexy girls, how hot is too hot?” by Hayley Dimarco (author of Mean Girls). The book is full of quizes and questions to help girls understand just what they are “advertising” when they dress too sexy. I think its good because it does not encourage the girls to look prudish just nice. It also talks about what is appropriate to where at specific times and places. Both my older daughters read and liked this book….
As far as bratz and barbies go: I should own stock in both of them. My children when young (between three and six) have always loved them. At that age what the dolls are wearing is not a concern, because they usually end up naked. I can’t tell you how many times me, the kids and a naked barbie or bratz doll have gone to the store. My kids have never expressed a desire to want to look or dress like any of their dolls and in our home toys are like cartoons. They are a lot of fun, but they are not real and nobody wants to be them. I guess if the girls ever tried to emulate the dress or body of bratz or barbie then I would stop getting them but it has really never been a problem for us.
Deidre says
I have a 4 year old daughter and the ‘Bratz girl’ issue surfaced when she was 3. I also teach a high school girls Sunday School class and ‘dress’ is a constant issue. My 4 year old has become quite the evangelist in this area because it’s talked about so often in our home. Bratz girls became an excellent teaching tool (we didn’t buy any – just prompted conversation when we saw them in the store). I explained to her that girls who love Jesus want to dress in a way that doesn’t draw attention to themselves. Whenever she sees a Bratz girl, she’ll say, “Reveal your belly, reveal your heart!!” I don’t know if she knows the extent of what that means, probably not, but she is learning that modesty is best when trying to live for Jesus and not the world. It’s a hard lesson for a little girl. It’s a struggle for the high school also because there aren’t a lot of clothes available to them that are acceptable, but they are coming up with ways to overcome and dress more modest. (Side note: this lesson on ‘revealing your belly’ has not worked out well when my child screams and points at another child on the playground when she sees her dressed with a mini-skirt and half shirt. She lets them know really quickly that it’s not appropriate. Then, we get in the car and have a lesson on ‘judgement’ – haha)
Pass the Torch says
We don’t like Bratz dolls around here either. If it were me, I’d be straightforward with him. “We don’t want Julia to think that it’s okay for kids to…”
Something like that.
Great opportunity to deliver a subtle message.
Great post.
Kelly
I’m looking for feedback.
Mom2fur says
I can’t stand those Bratz dolls. Even my daughter, who is quite ‘hip’ (21 years old, tattooes, piercings–so you know she’s no ‘square’) thinks they are skanky. We can always hope they’ll be out of fashion in a few years.
I really think there needs to be a resurgence of sewing in this country. Most patterns I’ve seen have been very nice, but people just don’t sew like they used to!
And hey, don’t be knocking Barbie. I love Barbie. I think she’s lots of fun and I have a boxful of them up in the attic that Katherine used to play with. We have ones in historical costumes and even a school teacher Barbie with the whole classroom. (I am soooo glad Barbie’s poopie puppy wasn’t available back then.) But speaking of modesty…does anyone have a clue why that poor girl still doesn’t have any undies after all these years? (HEY! I’m talking about Barbie, not my daughter!!!!)
Heather says
As for Bratz doll problem: My 4 year old knows that there are some things that are not good for his older sisters and there are some things that are not good for him. The words modest and appropriate/inappropriate get thrown around our house constantly even in regards to Barbie dolls. He knows that once Mom says it’s inappropriate because of dress or style or whatever, that the answer is “no”. We have not explained why yet, but by the time he is old enough to understand why he will be well prepared.
Michelle says
Done! I so agree with you.
And someone gave my little girl a Barbie – not super bad I know, but just on the edge for me . . . she loved her right off, but when she sets her down I put her on a high shelf. Every now and again my girl spots her and wants to play but as soon as she is set down again . . .
It doesn’t help that Barbie came at the same time that my girl was insisting all her doll go roaming about naked. Having naked Barbie in the house just unnerves me.
grafted branch says
Hey I’m loving your site!
This is going to sound too simple, but in regards to Bratz, it’s all in the delivery.
Would you worry about how to explain to you children that you wouldn’t be buying them a dirt sandwich? Or a goop slushie? Or any number of things that are scraping the bottom of the barrel? NO!
Sometimes, we Christians get a little too close to the world — close enough that we actually forget that what He has for us is BETTER and more BEAUTIFUL than any of the flesh-serving pleasures of this world.
That’s why you don’t bother to explain why you won’t buy a Bratz! doll. You simply give them what’s better instead. (And it ain’t Barbie either. lol.)