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I mentioned in a previous post that my son has some quirky, obsessive habits. I wondered if it is just a normal four year old thing and from your responses I learned that yes he is not the only four year old with quirky control/comfort issues and yet not all four year olds have these OCD tendencies.
Regardless if he is “normal” or not, Jackson’s habits can get down right inconvenient and so I must focus on the humorous side of them so as to better tolerate them.
Here is today’s installment. And if anyone else has ever known a child to do this one, I will be shocked.
My son will not through out any garbage unless he is at home or at Susan’s house. To clarify – this means that wherever we are and he eats something or does anything that makes a waste product (not dirty paper towels or napkins thank goodness!) I must bring it home to throw it in the garbage.
Now, if red flags go up and you think, “Well this woman is just enabling her son as he controls her and the rest of his little universe,” perhaps you are right.
But this obsession started when he was three years old at preschool. He was having a tough time with separation anxiety and he decided one day that he needed to bring home his garbage. He went into a tearful fit about it and the teacher decided that she would allow him to bring it home. I went along with it because he was having a hard time with me leaving him at school. He had just gone through more than a month when he would not wash his hands at school, even when I came to pick him up, insisting that he would do it at home. He was so adamant about this that he had to sit out at snack time everyday because he refused to wash his hands. Finally he gave in and began to wash his hands at school, switching instead to this garbage thing. Considering my child was at least now washing his hands, I decided I could handle a little garbage coming home.
This habit became routine and everyday he brought home his garbage from preschool. In fact, I got so used to it I didn’t think much about it. The first day of summer day camp I forgot to warn them. Oops – that was messy. Apparently he had quite a fit – and left a wake of stunned staff in his path. After that experience I try to make sure to warn teachers about it.
Now at daycare and preschool he continues to bring home his garbage. I get to empty lunch kits full of wrappers, plastic bags, messy yogurt and sticky apple sauce containers, and empty juice boxes. One day a substitute teacher didn’t know and threw his garbage out. Yes – you guessed it – bloodcurdling cries, weeping and gnashing of teeth. They remember to tell new teachers now.
Now let me help you wrap your mind around how this plays out in daily life. If we are out shopping for instance, my son will insist I bring home his garbage from anything he consumes. (Don’t tell him, but I often slip them into the garbage when he isn’t looking. How would you like to carry garbage in your purse? But all too often I am toting home garbage.)
Things went too far one day when I had Julia and Jackson out shopping in the mall. Jackson had to make a bowel movement and I had wipes in my purse for Julia. I told him I was going to use them to clean him up. Jackson lost it, screaming and crying – insisting that I could not put them in the garbage and would have to take home the dirty wipes. “I don’t think so Jackson! I am not, under any circumstance carrying poo in my purse!!!” As it turned out, his bowel movement was not very messy, so I didn’t use the wipes and just used toilet paper. (Because the toilet paper and the paper towels do not come from our home and do not belong to us, it is apparently acceptable to dispose of them in an unfamiliar garbage receptacle.)
I am not sure – but I think Jackson maybe the only child in the world to try to convince his mother to carry his poo home to his own garbage!
Oh – one more thing. If for instance the wrapper of a juice box straw is ripped in three or four pieces, all the pieces must go in the same garbage. They can not be separated. Jackson is very particular about this rule. Yes – staying together is very important to my son. If ever there were a child teaching his mother about the importance of the family unit Jackson is it.
Well – at least he keeps life interesting.
Erna says
Oh my! Too funny!
Susan says
I think e-Mom may have figured out the thinking behind this behavior. I also expect he’ll outgrow it. Maybe that time will be sooner than later if he has to carry the garbage around himself in order to bring it home? This may not be feasible at pre-school but you could enforce it on him while shopping. Just a thought. 😉
e-Mom says
Just a guess–maybe Jackson identifies himself with the garbage. Maybe deep down he’s wondering, Mummy will you leave me behind too? Will I be thrown out?
By bringing home Jackson’s trash, you’re affirming that you’ll always bring him home too. I’m sure he’ll grow out of it as he learns to internalize your love.
In the meantime, good job Mum! GB.
The Pajama Mama says
I actually did have a kid in my day care class that was like this. He insisted everything go home with him. His mom brought in a big zip lock bag and all his garbage went in there to go home with him. That way it didn’t make a huge mess. She carried them in her purse too.
Randi says
Wow…I can honestly say I’ve never heard a little one do this before. I’m sure he’ll grow out of it.
Kailani says
What would happen if he asked for garbage that he gave you but you already threw it out?
Fruitful Spririt says
I can’t recall going through this with my ArtisBoy. But I do know until he was about 7 I never left the house without juice. Not a juice box, or kool-aid, oh no it had to be grape or apple or cranberry only. And if I forgot and he got thirsty then there was no making him happy! Thank goodness he finally got to where he drank a drink box because they were easier to carry around. At 19 he is still a juice drinker but will drink soda if forced to! I feel for you and do hope in time yours will get over this. Just carry lots of ziplock bags with you! At least then you will be prepared incase more poo happens!
flipflopmamma says
I’ve never heard of anything like this before. Sounds very interesting. I guess you have to choose your battles, and bringing home garbage isn’t the worst thing you could be doing. My hubby said that maybe he’ll grow up and be a sanitation worker. LOL!!
Carey says
Maybe he will grow up to be an enviromentalist. Julie has a good idea…have you tried putting his stuff in plastic containers..ones he could bring home? Might help..less messy lunch boxes for you to clean out.
Have a great weekend
Domestic Goddess says
All I can say is wow, what a patient mother you are. As a person who deals with a little OCD herself, all I could think was “you need to get that child on some medication”.
If you don’t mind dealing with his quirks, and God bless you for that, I was going to suggest the Ziploc bag thing. That way he could “throw away his garbage” into the bag and bring it home to dispose of without being all yucky for you.
Sandra says
My first reaction when I read the post was “Well actually, that’s pretty neat that he does that, not like mine who will just drop the wrappers or trash wherever they are”……then I got to the last part about the poo and had to laugh out loud….just because I could picture your face and your reaction at the thought of carrying it back home LOL
I agree with the commenter that mentioned getting him a backpack, or even one of those big ziploc bags where he can place all his trash to take home.
Kristen says
I am convinced my littlest one has OCD issues as well. When I go to change her clothes, she has to take them off, then she has to go to some corner of the room and throw them in a corner. She has to help put milk in her sippy cup; she has to put the lid on the sippy cup; she has to get herself into her car seat (which in a time crunch can be a real issue); she has to crawl herself out of her high chair; she has to put the DVDs in the DVD player herself (most of our DVDs have finger prints all over them; the list goes on and on. Haven’t dealt with the trash thing, but there’s quite a few things that make life very interesting in our house as well.
Life With All Boys says
I think getting him a small backpack is a good idea. He isn’t going to do this forever, and I think your right to not make a big deal out of it. But definitly draw the line at poo!!!
Nikkie says
That is very interesting. I can imagine that it can get very difficult to deal with!
Susanne says
What about if you got him a small backpack, not the big school sized ones, but the nice little compact kind and that’s what he carries. If he wants to bring his garbage home then he must carry it himself and keep his pack on and not put it down and leave it somewhere. Keep drawing the line at the “poo” coming home, though!
Jodi says
Oh my! Someone else like my son! It used to frustrate me, and now that he is older, he has outgrown that phase! It wasn’t fun bringing home garbage from vacations!
Julie says
WOW..ok I know it’s a total PITA for you but imagine if we all disposed of our own garbage how much less we’d be inclined to make? He’s got a definite future in conservationism ahead of him! I personally think it’s a great quirk to have (poo notwithstanding).
Up here (in Canada) we have “waste free” schools where kids HAVE to take home their own garbage — though Moms are encouraged to send everything in re-usable containers so he’d fit right in. Maybe he’s got a bit of Canadian in him eh?
eph2810 says
Oh my. I can believe that this can lead to a lot stress when being away from home…I can’t imagine that I would have to carry trash in my purse.
Like previous comment – we all have our quirks. Our son would not use the public restroom of over a year after he was ‘potty trained’. That was no fun either…
Have a blessed Friday.
Pass the Torch says
We all have our quirks, don’t we? I’m really glad you’re not carrying poo in your purse, though;)
Kelly
Pass the Torch