5 Minutes for Mom brings you exclusive samplings from the best mom blogs in our weekly column, The Sampler, hosted by 5 Minutes for Mom contributing editor Shera, from A Frog In My Soup.
Jackie from “where the boys are” is the mother of three boys ages 16, 13 & 9. She is the wife of a loving husband, whom she still has a crush on after all these years. She enjoys being the “queen” of her castle and being pampered by the men in her life.She lives a busy life that moves at a rapid rate but she still finds time to blog about it. I truly enjoy the reminder she shares with us today in her post and as I teeter back and forth between a set of two year old twins that make me a little nuts and head all to quickly toward those dreaded teenage years with my oldest son.
Longing for the Terrible Twos
Being the mother of a newly, licensed, teenaged driver is about to kill me. This is by far the hardest parenting stage I have had to go through. Terrible twos? Bring them back! Please! I would much rather wrestle a toddler, who is in the throws of a tantrum, to the ground, than sit and watch my 16 year old son pull out of the driveway each day.
We have instituted a rule that he has to call or text me when he arrives at his destination. The same goes for when he begins the trip home. This gives me ample time to sit and watch the clock while biting my nails to the quick while I wait for my phone to ping or ring.
It was so much easier to spend sleepless nights rocking a baby as opposed to waiting up watching for those headlights to dance across the garage door, telling me that he’s home safe and sound. At least you know the baby in your arms is safe while you’re holding him and feeding him a bottle at 2 am.
I reminisce fondly about the days when he wore bibbed overalls and “asked” to hold my hand. When I wiped his chin and the other end and when he would beg to snuggle with me in my chair. I remember smelling his soft blond hair right after a bath and tucking him at night with a song and a story.
These days he’s more interested in hanging out with his friends and stretching the boundaries of freedom that having a driver’s license affords a 16 year old boy. Eating with the family is a rare occurrence and I’m often in bed long before his head ever hits the pillow.
I guess I always thought it would get a little easier as they got older, but I can see now that I was wrong. He struggles to gain his independence while I struggle with letting him. He tries to spread his wings and fly while I try to keep him from leaving the ground. He smiles at me and says, “Mom, don’t worry.” I smile at him and say, “that’s my job.” He drives away while I pray without ceasing.
He takes one step closer to becoming a man, as I take one step closer to understanding the meaning of letting go.
~ Written by Jackie Loudin of Where the Boys Are.
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This column is Hosted by Shera. She can be found at A Frog In My Soup
I am sorry for the worries you encounter. I know I am no where near that point, as I have 11 years ahead of me. But I know I will be there all too soon, before I know it. I dread the days of watching my children leave the driveway not knowing what lies ahead of them. You have this longing to always protect them and as they grow older, you realize you can’t always do that. You’re story brought tears to my eyes and fear in my heart, but it has to get easier one day, right?!?
Hoping you have less sleepless nights,
Melissa
You are killing me!!! Ohhhh – it hurts just to think about it. With Jackson six, it hurts enough – the thought of him as a teenager terrifies me.
You have me here crying…thank you for reminding me to appreciate all of the small moments I have with my little ones…time goes by so fast!
oh boy this one made me cry!! i will have a very hard time with this — as i go through those terrible twos (and the meltdown you spoke of just today) i am going to have to remember to cherish these because time just moves too fast.
Jack is approaching 22 months; so far we’ve been lucky; I’m definitely not looking forward to the teen years. He’s been taking after me and I was probably pretty mild as a teen (relatively speaking) but so much has to be learned firsthand. I made my share of mistakes and will try to keep him from making the same ones but my guidance will likely be unwelcome or misunderstood. Watching him figure things out on his own may be the hardest part for me.
I know I’ll struggle as my 10 yr old slowly tries to gain more manly independence.
But as far as worrying and telling someone ‘drive safe’, I do it with my man beast and he’s 29 yrs old!
Is there hope for me?
You’ll do it. My eldest is 26. Seeing her and her little sister together helps remind me.
Best wishes
That was beautiful – thank you for posting it for us! I agree, it is just as hard as they get older, and that happens all too quickly.
Thank goodness we can instil values and Divine Morality in our kids. Thank goodness we can teach them the value of being selfLESS in a self absorbed world and how to give rather then obsees about me, me, me.
That way, when they do walk away and drive away and really leave, be know they are making the world a better place, just by them being in it.
God bless-
Amanda
Oh boy, now I am not looking forward to teenagers.
That makes me really think about my daughter who is now in horrible 3’s and appreciate these days more as opposed to what you are going through.
I’m dreading the days of independence that the teen years and cars bring about. I think every stage of parenting has its challenges in those very moments, but in hindsight I’m sure the teen years are really the hardest to deal with emotionally.
:–) Nell
CasualFridayEveryday.com
Thanks for the article 🙂
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I have one daughter and the terrible 2’s became the terrible 3’swith her I’m afraid.
I have two boys 2 and 4. Your story makes me stop and think and appreciate them even more. Thanks.
We’re not quite there yet, but I can cry just thinking about those days to come!
And just think, you get to do this 2 more times!
I have one in the terrible two’s (and I remember the 3’s being even worse with his older brother–the older brother who starts Kindergarten this fall). Maybe because I started this whole process kinda later than average, I’m not in any hurry to rush any of it, even though some of it is “terrible” right now.
Thanks for the reminder to those of us wishing for an end to the long days, that the years are short. It’s good to be aware that there’s hugs at the end of the tantrums and the bedtime battles will end with them tucked in safe and sound. And someday we’ll know we’ve done a good job when they’re ready and capable to be out there without us–just when we really get used to having them around!
I’m sorry to say that it NEVER goes away – I am 33 and Mum still tells me to drive safely and worries if I don’t text or call her when I get home – I still roll my eyes at this but know that no matter how old your son or daughter is the worry never goes away! (sorry!)
Oh my grits I can’t wait for us to finish the terrible two’s! Don’t tell me it’s going to get worse! 😀
Okay, I’ll go kiss my 2-year-old one more time on her head before I crawl into bed tonight. 🙂