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Jackson is four – oh pardon me – four and a half, (as he would quickly correct me if he heard me call him four,) and teetering between an attached preschooler and an independent little boy.
At one moment he clings to me, begging for more mommy time and then at another he whispers to me under his breath “Mom, go away,” like a grade-schooler embarrassed by the presence of their mom and pleading for freedom. And while I hold on to each snuggly moment, trying to memorize each second, the glimpses of my grown up boy are almost as adorable. Two days ago, as we got ready in the morning to head over to Susan’s house, (Susan lives two blocks away and we share looking after our kids so one of us can work, or sleep if we have been working till the wee hours, which was the case this particular morning,) Jackson announced in his I-am-all-grown-up voice, “How about I walk myself there and you go have your sleep.” I clamped my mouth shut, choking back laughter – it was so cute and funny. Not only did he sound so grown up, but that little guy had got me figured out! I hadn’t even mentioned to him that I was going to take a nap after I dropped him off. I smiled and we worked out a compromise. I would drop him off a few units down from Susan’s (she lives in a townhouse complex) and watch him as he walked there by himself. With his little backpack on his back, he dashed off on his way, not even turning to wave good bye. It was just so cute and a little bittersweet as I had peek at the future, him heading off to school, no longer my little baby. The next day I didn’t have the chance to indulge in a nap and Jackson and I were heading over together to look after Julia while Susan worked. But to my complete surprise my sweet, mommy-loving son had a complete meltdown that I was coming with him! Apparently he wanted to go on his own and not have me follow him. I told him that he could walk himself and that I would just come in after. No – that wasn’t going to do it – he had a full scale meltdown, complete with shrieking and tears. Well, what can a mom do? Not much. Bring him inside and put him on a time out till he was ready to calm down and stop scaring his cousin half to death with his screaming. Eventually he came down stairs armed with a compromise. Later, when it was my turn to work, could I please take him home and then drive him back and drop him off and not come in? I agreed, but of course by the afternoon he had forgotten and I certainly wasn’t going to remind him. So today, it was drop-off day again. I stopped the car three units down, helped load him up with his backpack, his bag of light sabers and a bowl of blueberries and sent him on his way. But this time he stopped half way, turned and said, “I miss you Mommy.” Heart melts. Maybe he isn’t that grown up after all. |
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Karmyn R says
I felt that way the day my son didn’t even stop to say goodbye when dropping him off at preschool – they grow way too fast!!
Pamela says
I think he planned the “I mis you mommy” …………..
he knew he had you in the palm of his lil hand then..
Michele says
It so disconcerting that this process continues into the teenage years! They want you to fade into the woodwork but they still want to be able to see you. And all the while you have to remember not to be hurt by their pulling away.
Heather from One Woman's World says
What a completely precious post. You totally said it. Those feelings are so perfectly expressed.
eph2810 says
Yeah – boys are boys. They melt your heart and break it at the same time.
Thank you for sharing the precious moments with your son :smile:.
Polly says
Children don’t stay small for very long. It seems they grow up faster nowadays. But be grateful he’s trying his wings. I know a young boy is much older and he is still clinging to mom. He won’t go anywhere unless she is with him. Of course she baby’s him a lot as well. He’s going to have problems later I’m afraid. Your son seems to be on the right track. Good post.
Anna Venger says
Aww. The push and pull of growing up. They’ll never understand what we feel during the process until they themselves are parents.
Rebecca Grabill says
I love it. They want to be big so badly and are sometimes so good at “being big.” But they’re still our babies.
My baby lost his first tooth last Wednesday. He cried. So did I.
lisa says
It seems Jackson is entering the world of “I want it ’til I get it”. We all want so quickly to grow up and then when we do, we all want to be children again….He is such a funny boy. I always love reading your stories about him…..
P.S. My blogging Chicks blog is up….
Christina says
That brought tears to my eyes, especially when he said “I miss your mommy.” Enjoy it, they do grow up too fast. I can’t believe my oldest is 22 and is bringing my 1 year old grandson to visit me on Tuesday. Now I can enjoy him for awhile. Of oucrs I still have my 3 year old, but it seems time is flying with him also.
flipflopmamma says
That’s such a cute story. They do grow up fast don’t they? My oldest will be 10 next month! It’s soo scary. Just this summer I’ve finally allowed her to ride her bike around the block, with a friend. I’m still worried about her riding by herself. I know I need to loosen to tie just a little, but it’s very hard!!
Jodi says
Oh how they grow up way to fast!! What a sweet boy you have!
Mom2fur says
He sure is taking his first steps to independence! But isn’t it nice that, even at his young age, he knows how to compromise? Oh, and just wait until the first day he goes off driving a car on his own (which will be about 2 seconds after he gets his license). For me…all I did was say a prayer, take a deep breath…and go off an do something besides stew about my kid and the crazy drivers out there. Isn’t that all you can do in the long run? Pray, take a deep breath, and go on? And aren’t you happy that Jackson is about 12 years away from even considering a car?
Momma Piñata says
That is just too precious~ They do grow up so fast, and he’s definitely in a battle for independence…I use the term battle lightly (on most days).
Stacey says
THey grow up too fast for my taste, but it’s stories like this that keep me from minding too much.
janice says
hi, poped over from vicki’s blog,
just wanted to meet one of the other janice’s in blogland! 🙂
janice, you and your sister have very cute kids!
well take care , and have a great day!
Zoe says
one word
aaaawwwwwwhhhhhhhh