This post may contain affiliate links. Read my disclosure policy here.
I had hoped that Olivia would sleep right through my post partum check up today, but I knew it was a long shot –- she was due to feed at the exact time of my appointment.
And so of course, right as I push her stroller into the exam room, the alarm clock in her tummy goes off and she starts to howl.
“No problem,” I calculate, “I can quickly nurse her before the doctor comes in.” I scoop her up and she has a nice long drink. “Perfect timing Olivia, we can make this work,” and I set her down in her car seat and quickly undress. I lose my optimism though when I see the paper sheet waiting for me. No gown today -– this is a waist down situation.
I pull Olivia’s stroller up next to the table, sit down and cover myself up. Gently pushing the stroller back and forth, I wait. And I wait. No doctor. Baby crying.
I look down at the paper sheet and then at the closed door. The doctor is sure to come in now! I hop off the table, wrap the paper sheet around my waist like a towel after a shower and pick up Olivia. Standing very still, I nurse her and hope the paper skirt holds. But then I smell trouble and feel my hand getting wet. “Good grief,” I moan as I check Olivia -– her poop had shot right up her back and soaked her sleeper.
I grab the diaper bag, put Olivia on the table, refasten my paper skirt and get to work cleaning and changing Olivia. The doctor comes in during the operation, and I gush my apologies as I quickly finish the change, plop her in her car seat and jump back up on the table to get this appointment finished.
After I dress and we leave the exam room, I stop to quickly finish Olivia’s feed in the waiting room. But, just as I see the end of this afternoon in sight, I smell the familiar scent and lift up Olivia to discover another poop-soaked sleeper!
I always keep two outfits in Olivia’s diaper bag for just such an emergency, but as I reach into the bag to get the second sleeper, I discover what I had thought was a sleeper when I had checked the bag before I left the house was actually a pink onesie. “Well at least we have a onesie Olivia!”
Thankful that our November weather doesn’t currently include snow, I dress Olivia in the onesie, her hat, some socks and two blankets and finally retreat to the comfort of my own home — stocked full of clean sleepers.
Audra says
Oh I remember many such moments lol. If they didn’t get me from one end, it was the other. 🙂 My youngest is 21 months now.
Jen says
What a day! And it always seems to happen in the most craziest times. Then we’ll look back on it later and laugh hehe. I remember those times so much now that you wrote this post.
The Wooden Porch says
You just brought back so many memories! How quickly I forget those times!!!
Alexia says
That is why you have your baby at home…with a midwife! The check-up comes to you and your ever-ready supply of sleepers 😀
Gloria says
Hi,
Even though my baby days are over, I remember my first son, with such incidents. One day while shopping in a Shop-Rite store, I had my then 6 month proped on my hip. All of a sudden, I hear something like the sound of someone having gas, and the next thing I knew this mustardy colored diarhea was running my leg. I just quickly disregared any feeling of embarrasment, and thought this is life, deal with it. I managed to get some some paper towel, and clean up what ever I could, and of course went home to change my outfit as well as my son outfit.
melody is slurping life says
Oh, LOL, then hugs. 🙂 You were a trooper, a pro mom.
Thank you for reminding me that I really am glad my days of three in diapers at the same time are OVER!
Heather says
Oh man! Both of my kids were champion blowout poopers. The worst one happened at Applebees. Not fun.
Pamela Kramer says
WOW – What a day! You handled it like a champ. 🙂
jenna says
I am so glad to know I’m not the only one that those things happen to! You put it so eloquently, poop and all! 🙂
Amanda says
I had a few of those experiences. I am sure you were happy when it was all over
a writer's woolgatherings says
Oh, this sounds so familiar. Doesn’t it always seem to happen like that? I bet it never felt so good to be back at home!
Stephanie says
Oh, those newborn days…so much sweetness, so many challenges!
SummerM says
Awww, the joys of newborns! LOL
Sarah says
Been there! Oh, how I feel for you. My most recent episode wasn’t as bad as yours but it was pretty disgusting. She must of had one powerful poot while I was in the other room putting my shoes on to get ready to leave the house. I got everything together, quickly scooped her up out of her bouncer and put her on my hip (with her butt resting on my hip and her tummy facing out). Right as I closed the front door I got a whiff of something horrible. I unlock the door and head straight for her room and to the changing table dropping my purse along the way (that is now more of a diaper bag then a fancy designer purse). As I place her on the changing table and as I am pulling my arm back in towards my body is brushes up against something warm and wet. YUCK! Not only did she soak through her onesie pant suit but she soaked through my shit as well. And it was the color of peas, yum.
The memories…what would we do without them.
http://www.thepitterpatterboutique.blogspot.com
Shera ~ A Frog In My Soup says
Ah, Life with a newborn! Gotta Love it heehee!!! I feel for you and have been there too! I can honestly say that I’m happy to be past that stage, but I’m glad for the reminder! Thank you so much for sharing!
Charlsie says
Oh my your story reads very similar to mine last week at my post partum visit! Maneuvering in those little paper gowns is difficult and it seems that babies want to eat at the most inopportune times! Yet they are so wonderful!
Heather (Heather's reality show) says
It was like a comedy show but I have been there for real as well. You think, how can one child poop so much in such a short period of time. Their pretty amazing little people. Glad to hear you made it through.
jen says
how fun!!! NOT
I remember well the days when there number 2s would go EVERYWHERE
Christy says
I remember those days! I actually went to an OB appt with my daughter when she was 10 months old and it went about the same way! I was still nursing and as soon as they called me back, she started hollering. I went through the entire exam with a 10 month old on my chest eating her lunch! As much as I miss nursing a little one, I don’t miss those situations!
Adventures In Babywearing says
Aw, it seems like it’s been a while, but I’ve been there, too! Oh my!
Steph
Pam says
ohhh! If a similar experience were not still so fresh in my mind, this would be funny! Sorry you had to go through it all but glad you survived it with some dignity (do they leave just the paper sheet in the room in order to force such events to happen to us??). Way to go on reaching that 6 week mark! Seems to have gone by so quickly!
Tonya Hall says
oooooh….I am remembering those days well and know I have them to look forward again too! In fact, I was just explaining the scenario you gave of “what goes in must come out” to a friend who has not had children yet. Sounds like you handled it with your chin up the whole time!
Natalija says
Ouch, I can feel with you. Well at least in your country you sometimes get a gown or have the privacy to undress yourself without anybody present. Here you undress in front of the doctor and nurse in the office, since they don’t have separate exam rooms. And you better do it quickly, because there are many patients waiting…..