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Not the tackle I planned on posting…
Last week I started a tackle that I planned on posting tonight. I just needed to do a bit more to finish it up and it would be all ready for the after shot. But alas, I have run out of time.
I got home tonight and wanted to get this important post up right away. (Please click here to read about it or scroll down the page.) So now, it is time to put up my tackle and I am not ready! I could scramble and get it ready, but hey – why not share what I “tackled” today.
I don’t know if you saw a post I wrote awhile ago about shopping with my son, but basically it isn’t the easiest way to spend an afternoon. But sometimes it is just necessary.
Today’s trip to the mall started off fine, but of course quickly deteriorated. I am happy to report though that we did survive and we even found a raincoat for Jackson (the reason for the trip.) But the entire time I was berating myself for not just buying online!
The trip came complete with two meltdowns by Jackson which leads me to ask you – do any of you have five year olds (or older children) who have temper tantrums? I was reading in a parenting magazine the other day that all ages of children – including teenagers – can have them. (Well – if I think about it I know some adults who have them too! LOL)
Recently, my son has started having them more frequently. It is brutal – not to mention embarrassing! (I sent Jackson on a time out to his room the other day and he went in to a full scale meltdown. He was standing in his room screaming crying. My neighbor even came over to check and see if everything was ok! “Oh yes – Jackson is just on a time out.”)
Jackson has always been an intense little guy, (when he is happy, he is super happy and when he is angry – get out of the way!) but this latest relapse into tantrum behavior is driving me crazy – not to mention giving me a headache. I am doing my best to follow positive parenting techniques and the Love and Logic methods and it does help somewhat. But what confuses me the most is that he just seems to have these instant over-emotional reactions right now. Nothing unusual is going on and I can’t see any reasons for him to be more emotional. I am hoping it is a phase of some sort and he will regulate soon. But in the meantime let me tell you – it is very frustrating and very embarrassing!
So, finally I am home and just now getting to my computer. It is so hard to get in enough time to work and parent!
I will have my “real” tackle ready for you next week.
What did you do this week? Link up and let us know.
Join Us For Tackle It Tuesday
We’re making housework blog-able!
Each week on Tuesday, we are posting before and after pictures of a project or trouble area that we tackled this week.
Find out more about Tackle It Tuesday here.
The project can be little or big – whatever you want. Basically, Tackle It Tuesday is about giving ourselves incentive, deadlines and satisfaction in getting our household tasks done.
Jennifer says
Great tips…so nice to know I am not alone! See my blog’s weekend top ten for things I tackled this week…painting and windows!
Janice says
I LOVE reading all your comments! Thanks so much for all the tips and encouragement! You guys are awesome!!!!
Chelsea says
This is such a fun challenge. I hope to post something new every Tuesday!!!
Chelsea
Kimbrah says
I was reading your post about your son’s tantrums and it sounded very familiar. I too have an intense child, my oldest who is 3.75 years old. I know my son is younger than Jackson, but if I may be allowed to make some observations that may or may not help.
I know you just had a bit of a bleeding scare and you were probably pretty tense during that, even if you tried to hide it from Jackson. Kids are really intuitive and I know my mood affects my kids moods, whether I try to hide them or not. Another thing, that was mentioned in one of the comments above, is routine. If we very even a little bit from our routine, it throws everyone off, especially my ultra-sensitive oldest boy.
A book that I have found very helpful is “Raising your spirited child : a guide for parents whose child is more intense, sensitive, perceptive, persistent, energetic” by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka. You can probably find it at your local library and look it over. That has been my best source for checking out parenting books that I think might be helpful.
One of the things I always tell myself, every day, all day long, is “This can not last forever. Eventually he will grow out of this phase, too.” Just take it one day at a time and you will make it through. You can do it!
Emily says
This is my first time participating – I like the motivation this provides! Thanks!
Mothers-Flowers says
Hugs to you. My daughter in now 7yrs but here in England it was school holidays for the past 2weeks and i find the holidays challenging because my routine just gets thrown out of the window with my little darling asking all the time “where are we going today mummy”. It does make me feel gult but thank God i managed to finish my website which i have been working on
ChupieandJsmama says
Ok, mine is finally up. I wasn’t doing one today, but because I lost my temper with my children today, it spurred me into action. I feel horrible when I lose my temper. I am guilt ridden (but justified I feel, at least today). My youngest is the temper tantrum kid (he’s 2 1/2). I know how hard it is. I’m sending you hugs!!
Morgan says
Hang in there Mama!!! “This too will pass, this too will pass…” is my mantra, LOL!
I’m back for week two of TT! YAY! But, mine is kinda cheesy today, I’ll do a better one next week ;o)
Sallie says
I used to have to take my son in a quiet dark room and hold him down until he calmed down and stopped his tantrum. Surprisingly, this was suggested by a counselor so at least I wasn’t afraid of being charged with child abuse. It worked and he learned his tantrums were not allowed. We’ve since found out he has an autistic spectrum disorder. You know your child best. Just pay attention and figure out what triggers his reactions.. Good luck!!
julie says
We had a tantrum Saturday am at Walmart. My three year old was having a fit because I would not buy her gum. She threw herself on the ground, screamed, and made a huge scene. My other kids were so embarassed. But for some reason I was not. I think because I have done this a few times before, I just ignored her. My other kids freaked out when I just stepped over her to pay for my items, all the time ignoring her. My daughter then informs me that “people are staring”.
I have learned to not worry about what others may think. Any one with kids has most likely experienced a temper tantrum. After I paid, I picked her up (kicking and screaming) and took her to the car. The funny thing was that my other kids said ” I don’t know why she is doing that, she is not going to get her own way like that!”. To which I responded “True, but how do you think you learned that lesson? I let all of you yell and scream at some point.” They really were not amused. lol
Stand firm and it will get better.
Blessings,
Julie
Carrie says
It very well could be the baby. (Good call, Marcia!)
You might want to see if your library has “The New Strong-willed Child” by Dr. James Dobson. Also his book “Bringing Up Boys” is great, and “Raising Your Spirited Child” by Marcy Kurcinka is really good, too.
My tackle is up, I’m getting control of my library bookshelves!
misslionheart says
Mine’s up and I don’t want to do it!
Crystal says
Sometimes, when you are a mom, that’s as real of a tackle as you can get!!
Steph says
My son is the king of tantrums, he’s been doing it since he was old enough to walk. The worst is when he does it in public. He’s growing out of it but he still gets very upset very quickly. I think he’s just very intense.
I have to agree with the above posters, perhaps Jackson is acting out because of the new baby. Mom’s been sick and he’s probably worried about that and he’s about to be usurped as the only child. My nephew just went through all of this. He’s 5 and his brother was born last week. He was quite ornery for the full 9 months. Now that the baby is here he’s “overly helpful” but he’s well over the tantrums. I think a lot of his acting out was worry over his mom. She had problems like you and it’s scary for a 5 year old.
Joey didn’t act out over Elizabeth. Our situation was a bit different since it was an adoption and we had only 4 months to get ready, but we made sure we kept him very busy and very involved in both the adoption process and the “getting ready” part. We let him pick things out for the baby any time he wanted, we let him help get her room ready, we even let him paint. We talked to him a lot about what was happening, how things would change around here, how they wouldn’t, etc… I don’t know if that was “right” but we’ve had absolutely no resentment on his part and I fully expected some. He lives for his sister and is an amazing big brother.
As for just general tantrums, the best advice I can give you is to NEVER give in, never lose your cool, and walk away. Joey would push my buttons something fierce, there were times I wanted to give in just to get him to stop. I really had to fight to stick it out. But I would simply walk away, even in a store, I’d just simply turn and start to slowly walk away and he’d usually pull it together and follow me and there were times we simply left. Tantrums are a battle of wills and you have to show they don’t rattle you, and that he won’t get his way by throwing them. Don’t talk to him, firmly place him in time out and tell him you’ll speak to him when he’s calmed down, and walk away. Even go so far as to find something else to do so he knows you’re not fretting over it.
That’s all the advice I can give you! Hope it helps!
LeAnne says
I think we moms have a tackle it EVERYday when we have young ones. My brain can hardly imagine any more tackles! :o) Although I know I’m going to have to get my brain in order and try it sometime. :o)
By the way, what’s a meme? I’m so new to the blogging world and that one I haven’t learned yet……….
Twisted Cinderella says
Little Princess can throw tantrums but I find giving her the facts, “This is how it is.” and then moving on with something else helps. Like, preschool. She doesn’t really want to go lately. So when I try to get her ready in the mornings, she is ready for a fight. I just tell her, “You are going to preschool today. What would you like to wear (or eat or whatever) to preschool? What did you do yesterday at preschool? Lets get you dressed before you go to preschool.” I kind of move on matter of factly like this is just how it is. Usually it helps. Unless she is tired.
((Hugs)) I know that this is tough. It is soo hard for me too. Any change in our life sets off lots of temper tantrums.
My tackle is up this week too!
amydeanne says
I wish I could say how to deal with it, but honestly I’m going through it with my 1, 2 & 4 year old as well! Just praying for God to give us mommies the strength to deal and live to tell the stories of meltdowns!!!
Mandy says
I forgot to coment on your post. I always tease my two boys, who are now 6 and 9, that they went through the terrible 5’s instead of the terrible 2’s. I think when they were 5 they were going through some big adjustments. They were realizing that they were becomeing big boys and not babies anymore. I think sometimes that scared them. A little extra attention during the day usually helped. Plus the reminder, when they did big boy stuff, about what big boys they were!
Mandy says
Thank you for letting me participate. I hope this will motivate me to get some projects done around the house. This is my first time and I am going to try this every week.
Jennifer D says
I’m sorry I have no advice for you, as I was totally blessed with my son – he never had those issues. However, he’s about to turn 13, and that’s a WHOLE different story! I’m afraid I may end up in the same situation with my daughter, however – she recently turned 2 and is a very emotional and sensitive little girl. I’ve already seen a few meltdowns, and I’m sure there are many more to come. So, I’m anxious to read any advice offered here. My heart goes out to you for having to deal right now. Parenting is such a difficult (though rewarding) job! {{Hugs}}
Jenn says
Aubrey never went though a “tantrum” faze, really – she’s the whiner of the family and MAN it’s almost worse LOL – Zachary can throw a tantrum and LOOK OUT, he can “stay in one” for up to 10-15 minutes – its not pretty, basically I just try to ignore him….it’s so hard though, I also make sure that he’s safe – usually I try to get “involved” in a fun activity with out him, it tends to “draw” him out of his tantrum and make for a nice little play time.
Good luck, it’s soo hard!!!
Sanni says
I´m sorry I can´t come up with any advice… Luis is too young to compare (his first birthday is on 26th of April). All I can say is that I feel for you.
My TiT #4 is up – not a “multi-tackle” like last week, but it took me 18 hours to install everything on my new harddisk *sigh*
Take care!
Debi says
Wow. Your Jackson sounds just like my Gray. Over-emotional is like the understatement of the year. When he’s happy, he’s ecstatic. When he’s sad, he’s nearly catatonic. And when he’s angry, watch out! And it doesn’t take much to set off any of these emotions. He just feels everything right to his core. It’s so very trying. And yet all these things make him the most compassionate, generous, and caring kid I know, as well. He’s six now, and the tantrums don’t seem to be lessening at all. Take care…I certainly feel for you!
Carey says
Oh I so know how you feel! My 5 year old can turn on a tantrum in seconds. As soon as she wants something and she doesnt get it right away, everyone look out! She will stand her ground and just throw a fit. It is very hard…she is very strong willed. I do think that she is playing me too. There are times when i can get her to snap out of it…for i see that smile shes trying to hide, she knows what shes doing. But its breaking the cycle that is hard. I have started sending her room everytime she raises her voice(in a temper throwing fit). she gets five minutes, and if she argues with me or gives me a hard time about it, i add another 5 to it. She is not aloud back down until she is completely calm, and we may repeat quite a few times in a day, but she needs to stop. good luck…ill be praying for you. By the way…Im glad you found a rain coat.
Captain TITS Lifecruiser says
I wonder the same as Marcia, because I’ve seen it sooo many times, it’s so darn common 🙂
It must be very tough so I do hope you can solve it somehow soon!
I’ve put up this weeks TIT’s hits… *lol*
Marcia says
Hi Janice
I don’t have any kids (5-year-olds or otherwise) but maybe he’s acting out because of the baby. Yes, I know he’s very excited but maybe a part of him is concerned that he won’t have your attention anymore.
My 0.02 worth…
My tackle is up – I made a business binder so all the stuff is in one place!
Imma (Alice) says
My heart goes out to you, it must be very challenging. All my kids are “critters” (fur, feather, fins), so I can’t offer any helpful ideas for you to try. Good luck with it though.
My TIT post is up…