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Standing at my door, fumbling for my key, I spot yesterday’s newspaper still sitting on my doorstep. I bend down to pick it up and notice the photo – a couple sitting on their couch, despair and agony in their eyes, with a picture of their four year old boy. He had just been hit and killed by a speeding pick up truck outside their home.
It happened last weekend just a block from where I used to live. The mother and the little boy were walking hand in hand to visit his best pal down the street. As they stood waiting to cross the street, the little boy overcome with excitement, broke free and darted out to his death.
Transfixed, I stand and read this mother’s story. She wails, “It should have been me – I should have run in front of the truck and saved his life.” I am totally overcome as I try to imagine what she is feeling. I pray for her, but it feels like such a small token. From the story, it sounds like this is her only child. “How will she go on?” I wonder. Sick to my stomach, I imagine her despair. If it were Jackson, I honestly don’t know how I would ever go on.
A few weeks ago, we were standing outside our house visiting with a neighbour. I was blowing bubbles for Jackson and Julia and some floated towards the road. Jackson darted out to catch them and I screamed, “No, Jackson, STOP!” And miraculously he did, just as a van roared by. Like the little boy in the newspaper, Jackson had darted from behind a parked car and the driver didn’t even see the little body running.
Trembling, I grabbed Jackson and tried to explain to him what just about happened. I talked to him about always stopping, no matter what, when he hears me or someone scream stop. We practiced it as a game – run, run, run…stop. I drove it into his head, over and over again, to be so careful.
But he is a little boy, so packed with energy, passion and mischief that I know in those split second moments he won’t always think. He will react. He will dart. He will not always stop.
When I pick him up from preschool today I think I might show him the newspaper and explain to him what happened. I don’t want to traumatize him, but I need him to “get it” – to grasp that what mommy is talking about is real.
What do you think? Would you show your four year old the paper and tell him about the little four year old boy who let go of his mommy’s hand and ran out into the street? Am I wrong to tell him? Perhaps that is too tragic for him to handle – but I just don’t want it to be him next.
That mother had done nothing wrong. She had talked to her boy about cars. They had even written to the city to ask for speed bumps to be put up because cars routinely sped down their street. She was holding his hand. She did everything right. And now her precious son is gone. It is beyond my imagination and I never want to experience it myself.
Jen3 says
This story brings tears to my eyes and rips at my heart. I can only imagine the mother’s sadness and absolute GRIEF. It is so tragic, and so frightening. I worry about this exact same thing happening ALL the time. Our triplets are only 19-months old – but – instilling in their minds to STOP YOUR FEET when we tell them … will be among the most important lessons learned, as a child.
Ugh. Lots of prayers to this poor family.
laura says
I don’t know if I would share such a graphic story but this family’s tragedy was nearly ours. In 2001 our 2nd born was struck by a 6 ton truck hauling an earth mover. She could have been killed. The neurologist who cared for her at the trauma center she was taken to told us she should have been killed. But we are celebrating her graduating from middle school in the top 5. Not a day goes by where none of us don’t appreciate her life and the chance we were given to continue to do so. The story is here: http://adventuresinjuggling.blogspot.com/2005/02/2-23-2001.html
Emanuel says
Hey, I know how you feel in some ways. My little brother and sister look up to me, which is probably not the best idea, but i have to set examples for them. I would show my little brother and sister that article because they would need to see in order to get it through there heads. I would wrather a traumatized little brother and sister than a dead one. But that is just me, you do what you think is best. Well, hope you make the right decision and best of luck to you and your kids. God Bless!!!
Cynthia says
Just to add, I also have a 3-year-old and we have taught him that if one of his balls or toys ever gets away from him and rolls into the road to let it go and not to follow it. We told him that Mommy or Daddy will get it, or that we will simply go to the store and buy him another one. Now when one of his toys breaks on accident, he doesn’t get upset – he says “it’s OK, we’ll go to the store and buy another one.” While that may not always be the case in those situations, if this idea saves him from the impulse of chasing a ball or toy into the street, then that’s OK with me.
Cynthia says
Stories like these send chills down my spine and bring sorrow to my heart. I can relate to the terror, and relief of being spared such a tragedy. A week ago, I left our back gate open and my one-year-old wandered out to the driveway next to my car within a foot of our narrow one-way street. You may be thinking where on earth I was during this… I ask myself the same thing, how could I not have known? I was busy cleaning toys and fallen papers from under my work desk while he napped nearby on the couch. He woke up from his nap and didn’t fuss or make a sound. He simply slipped off the couch and wandered outside (it was a hot day and I left our french doors open) and he wandered out the gate. It was a terrifying two minutes – from the moment I realized he was gone to finding him. I called 911 in a panic, but while I was talking to the sherriff’s office, I found him. We put a spring on the gate that day so this will never happen again. But how close my child could have come to harm. It’s very terrifying and humbling. Thank God in Heaven nothing happened to my child.
Sandra says
Oh this is heartbreaking Janice. I can’t even begin to grasp my mind around the pain this family must be feeling, and to witness your own child’s death is just horrible.
I have a 3 year old and a 7 year old and I’m always telling them and warning them about the dangers of running across the street or even in the parking lots. It might scare them but at least I hope that they will understand how serious the consequences could be.
Kristen says
How absolutely heart breaking! I hate reading about things like this because I always put myself in those parents’ shoes and imagine how I would feel were it I. I don’t think I could go on. I really do not!
Gibee says
Oh, that poor family! I can’t even begin to imagine how I would react. I think they’d need a straight jacket for me!
Janice says
So I told him. I showed him the picture and he asked me to read him the article. I read him a few select sentences. He cried and asked if the little boy was going to come back. It was very sad.
I think it helped a bit though. My son is very sensitive and cautious by nature. The most danerous thing he does is the darting around cars. He tries to be careful about most other things. As he says, “Mommy – I don’t want to die.”
When I got home from picking him up I still hadn’t decided if I was goign to tell him. BUt we were out in the greenspace behind our backyard visiting with neighbours and he ran off down the path with one of the kids. There are no cars there but when I called for him to stop and come back, he didn’t. He stopped I think, but well beyond where I could see him and then didn’t come back. He didn’t go as far as the street, but I figured it was a good segue to this lesson, so as we walked home I told him about the little boy and then showed him the article when we got back.
Of course this is just one more lesson in many to come, but hopefully it did some good.
Thnkfully that day he did dart in the road, he actually stopped when I screamed stop. If he hadn’t stopped I am sure that car would have hit him.
Hopefully he will not run into the street the next time, and if he does, hopefully he will stop when I tell him too.
Lisa – that is what I did. I told him the boy was in heaven but the mommy was very, very sad.
Toni – good idea about talking about if something floats way in the wind. I have talked about not chasing the ball into the street – which he is really good about not doing – but not about the wind. And now that my son is four and a half, he seems able to take in actions and consequences a bit better, but in the heat of the moment, most often everything goes and he runs on impulse.
Thanks for your thoughts ladies – and HOPEFULLY none of us will ever experience such a tragedy!!
Rachel says
And my 4 year old twin boys went in the street today. They are usually so good about it, but this one time . . . Luckily they were fine, but the thoughts of what could have happened rushed through my minds. I don’t know if showing him the picture would really make a difference. I don’t think it would for my guys.
Toni Anderson says
I don’t know. My son is 3 and a half and don’t think he’d get it. He’d not associate the consequences with the actions. I’ve made a point with my daughter of neve chasing something that floats off in the wind. Wait and mom will get it if she can. Little boys are harder. I just try and contain mine as much as I can for now.
That poor poor mom!
Lisa says
It may sound horrible, but I think you should show him the article, or just tell him the story so he will understand why it is important not to run into the street.
Make sure to mention that although the little boy is in heaven, but his mommy is very sad. It may bring up a lot of questions from him, but if it finally makes him “get it” and save his life one day, it’s worth it.
That’s just my opinion, but I am not a mommy yet, so I’m not sure how much it matters.
kelly jeanie says
What a nightmare…that poor family. I lack the words to express how this makes me feel. The thought of losing my baby… I don’t know what I would do regarding the article. I hope your other readers are more helpful. Thank you for reminding me of the dangers that are around every corner…I think what you are doing with your son is great (run, run, run…stop) and as soon as my toddler is old enough to understand we’ll be doing that too.