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Ping-Pong
Posted By Carol
“I cooked, so you get to clean.” PING
“I gave the kids a bath last night, so you can do it tonight.” PONG
“You went out with the guys last week, so I am going out tonight with my friends.” PING
“I have taken out the trash the last two times. It’s your turn to take it out.” PONG
And so it goes. Sound familiar? With constant practice, I was a skilled expert at ping-pong. I was on the professional circuit until I stopped keeping score. And without the score, I won. I won a marriage based on love and respect.
My husband and I spent more years than I’d like to admit ping-ponging our responsibilities back and forth. The daily and sometimes hourly matches gave way to lots of disappointment. And exhaustion. The bad thing about score keeping is that someone is always winning, which means someone is always losing. Eventually, I discovered I needed to please God, not my husband. I changed my way of doing things. I began serving my husband because it was pleasing to God, and I stopped keeping score. I worked to delight the Lord, not because it was my turn.
Amazing to me, my husband’s attitude changed, as well. When I asked to go shopping alone, he told me to have a good time and suggested I take time to get coffee, too. When he wanted to see a “shoot ‘em up” movie with a buddy from work, I sent him merrily on his way with no thought of how long ago I had been to a “chick flick” with a girlfriend. I honored my husband to please God, but as a wonderful by-product, I pleased my husband as well.
So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. 1 Corinthians 10:31 NIV
Try putting God first, and in doing so drop the score keeping. You’ll be shocked at the change in your marriage. Blessings always follow obedience. So what do you say? Are you ready to put down the paddle?
But thanks be to God that, though you used to be slaves to sin, you wholeheartedly obeyed the form of teaching to which you were entrusted. You have been set free from sin and have become slaves to righteousness. Romans 6:17-18 NIV
Sep 22nd, 2008
Awesome analogy, thanks so much for that. I might just go put that into practice right now!
It is so hard when the in laws (both sides) keep score of what goes on in our marriage, simply through observation, but they see the WRONG things. Like, he traveled on a business trip, so you deserve….She just saw her family so you should….We ignore their comments, but maybe we should take the opportunity to witness instead.
We’ve been studying 1 Corinthians 13 in Sunday School and this makes me think of where it says “Love does not keep a record of wrongs.” I’ve never been a good scorekeeper - somehow I always see HIS wrongs instead of mine. So, it’s better to give it up!
Wow! I like that. It is true that we so often keep track of the score. Of course we would *never* “keep a record of wrongs”, because we all know 1 Corinthians 13. (Okay, we try not to!) But how often do we keep a record or “rights” we have done? Just last weekend, I was feeling pinged out (how’s that for a word) after doing all of the laundry by myself. But I’m going to chose to serve my family—and my God—whether the serve is returned or not. Thanks!