Brighter and Brighter

“The path of the righteous is like the light of dawn, that shines brighter and brighter until the full day (Proverbs 4:18).”

I have a problem with cleaning. Not deep-bleach-everything cleaning. But everything-put-away cleaning. When clutter starts to take over the house, my brain starts to shut down.

I used to ask for prayer for this in my women’s Bible study. “Um, I have a problem with cleaning my house,” I would say to blank faces. I would try to explain the tight feeling of control that came over me when I started in on a cleaning spree. How I was unable to relax until everything was clean. How I would run around the house in a sweat and yelling at my family until all the clutter was either put away or in a black trash bag ready to be taken to Goodwill.

When things in my house are clean, I can relax. I feel calm when I look around and see the counters wiped and the empty laundry basket. I am at ease once I see the toys neatly sorted in labeled bins and my floors free of dirt and crumbs.

Here’s what I believed: once everything is clean, I can get started on the things I really want to do. Once I’ve cleaned up and finished my work I can read to my children and make a nice dinner for my husband. I can put on jazz music and finally look through my latest issue of Southern Living for twenty minutes instead of rushing from little chore to little chore.

Once things are clean, I will be happy and relaxed.

The problem is: things are never clean. Just as soon as I finish all my projects, all my wiping and sorting and tidying, my family comes in behind me and starts living in the house. Which means toys and paperwork piles start to accumulate before me very eyes, undoing all the work I have just finished.

I am slowly realizing that the very thing I am trying to see happen in my life (being relaxed and having more moments of really focusing on my family) is never going to happen with the way I am living. I will never really ever be done cleaning and ready to relax.

I have to start choosing to live the moments of joy before I get any task done on my list.

Oh, it is so hard. Yet I know that this is what God is asking me to do. As I listen to His Spirit, I am starting to really understand the life and death in the choices I make with my family and my priorities.

And even if it takes me a few more years to understand how to fully let go of control, to live a life characterized at home by peace and a relaxed heart, I will get there. I have no doubt.

If God can save me and redeem my life from a pit, I can trust Him to come in and teach me daily how to put my family before my “to-do” list. His Word promises me that “the path of the righteous is like the light of dawn, that shines brighter and brighter until the full day (Proverbs 4:18).”

Brighter and brighter, that’s me! Light of dawn in my family and in my slightly cluttered house! Brighter and brighter and closer and closer to the heart of Christ.

Lord, thank you for teaching me how to trust you with my house. Thank you for showing me what is important, what has lasting value. God, please give me your priorities this day. I want so much to continue to learn how to faithfully balance the life you’ve given me. In the name of your Son, Amen.