2 Comments to 'Are You Really Loving Your Husband?'
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Are You Really Loving Your Husband?
Posted By Kathleen Marie
Even though I’ve been married for 11 years, I just realized this summer (long story) that I have not truly loved my husband. I’ve liked him, enjoyed him, needed him, but…love…well, not really. Not like how 1 Cor 13 declares love should be; not like how Jesus loves us.
I was overwhelmed with grief, and thought, “If I wasn’t a believer, I’d walk out right now out of sheer guilt and sense of failure.” Instead, I begged the Lord for forgiveness and help. I ran to my husband and confessed, as well. He was shocked, of course, but comforted me and again, poured out unconditional love on this wounded woman, who was just beginning to understand true love, from an earthly man.
Ever since, I’ve looked hard for ways to live out 1 Cor 13 and have prayed for God to show me opportunities to express real love for my treasured husband. Sometimes it has been practical, like hopping up first to grab a fork from the kitchen or pour him a drink. Sometimes it has been showing my man respect by listening to his opinion and keeping my mouth shut. Sometimes I’ve just reached out and touched him affectionately, without it being about my needs. And sometimes, it has been about moving out of my comfort zone and being bold–like wearing an “I love my husband / And I respect him, too!” t-shirt that I made/purchased from zazzle.com (you can see it on my blog, Extravagant Grace, if you scroll down the sidebar). Boy, does he smile when I sport that shirt!
Most recently, I put a picture of my handsome hubby on my desktop. That was after I asked him if he thought it was loving or just pathetic to have a pic of him at my desk. Now mind you, I just read, “The Disciplines by a Beautiful Woman,” by Anne Ortlund and was challenged by her description of having a picture of her husband above her desk. Honestly, I thought, “How pathetic!”…as my mental history scrolled forward contaminating everything in the present! Can you believe that even went through my mind? I was even shocked! Eventually, I summoned up the courage to ask hubby what he thought about it and he replied, “Pathetic is cute, and loving, too.” So, I surprised him the next day with a photo from the summer on my desktop of my computer. Boy, did he feel loved when he stumbled on it later that night.
These are just some of the ways I am learning to love my husband. Hmm. Maybe I should repost this toooo long comment at my blog and challenge my friends to consider how they are loving their husbands, too!
I’m curious, too! How do you show love to your husband? And while you’re thinking about love, share with me how you love on your children, parents, siblings, and friends! I’m such a newbie at this 1 Corinthians 13 style of love, I can use all the advice and ideas you’re willing to give!
Elisa
Elisa is passionate about her vocation as wife to Stephen and mother of four treasures (ages 8, 6, and twins, 2 1/2). She also considers it a privilege to share about God’s transforming love, especially with women and teenage girls, through relationships, writing/speaking, and her website, Extravagant Grace. Elisa enjoys anything crafty or creative, laughing with her family, and friendships.
Dec 15th, 2007
I greatly appreciated this post. It totally hit home because I am going through this very thing with my husband as we speak. I havent been as devoted to God or him as I should be and both him and I have talked about it and agree. This post couldn’t have come at a better time. THANKS!
I think if we tell our husbands how well we think they are doing as a provider,lover,father and friend it boosts thier self esteem a little or alot. i think men need to know that we too take notice to what they are doing. i think we as women are at fault sometimes to wine that our husbands don’t appreciate us or listen to our words. well i think they might show alot more of thier appreciation if we stepped up to the plate an batted one out of the field first by giving them a hug out of the blue and telling them you think they are doing such a great job taking care of you. yes i said taking care of you. these days i know that’s fighting words but lets face it we all need to be taken care of an appreciated. in order to recieve you must give without expectation an if your motives are pure i think God will give your husband a loving nudge to remind him to return the emotional pat on the back. If my husband takes me out for a meal and even if the service or food is not what i think it should be i try to bite my tongues an tell him how i appreciate that he has taken me on a date an asked my parents to babysit since we had not done so in the last 5-6 months . anyway i guess what i’m saying is you hit the nail on the head and like the v-8 commercial i hope this bible study bonks some of us women on the head so then we can realize we need to love our husbands as much as they love us.