Are We A Crown To Our Husbands?

Every year our ministry has a fundraising banquet in which upwards of 600 people come. Our rescue mission is known all over Northern California and many officers, judges, lawyers, and other dignitaries come with their spouses. We have a wonderful meal, some music, and testimonies shared as well. My husband is able to stand and explain more about our ministry and how we help people who have been wounded by drug and alcohol addiction. This is always a large event and covered by our local media.

Each year I am able to do more to help him and this last year was the most I had ever been able to do. I helped with the decorating, seating, presentation to our founder’s wife, and speaking. There’s so much to be done when you’re planning a large banquet like this. Many months of preparation for this evening, and just for one night, was exhausting. I can’t even begin to imagine how much time it took for King Ahasuerus to plan his banquet that lasted ‘an hundred and fourscore days’
(Esther chapter 1).

Chapter 1 and verse 6 describes the decorations for his event. Had I not already known the outcome of his party, I would have been in awe of his wife’s eye for décor. I usually assume a man would have his wife assist him in something like that, but we later go on to discover that his wife wasn’t even AT his party. Queen Vashti was having her ‘own’ banquet.

There’s not a lot of detail in the scriptures as to why she wasn’t involved or even that she wasn’t entirely, but I had to think about that for a minute. If she was hostess to her own party, how could she have had time to help her husband with his as well? There’s just no feasible way that I could have helped my husband with his banquet and still have my own during the same time. There’s just so much work that goes into planning something like this. I guess it would be like planning two weddings on the same day. I know I just couldn’t do it.

You’ll read on to find that the King sent his chamberlains to get the queen. He wanted her to come with her royal crown and be presented to his guests, as she was fair to look upon, but she refused to come and the king was very angry at her refusal.

Esther 1:12, “But the queen Vashti refused to come at the king’s commandment by his chamberlains: therefore was the king very wroth, and his anger burned in him.”

Furthermore, we find that the princes were all witnesses to this unfortunate event.

Esther 1:14, “And the next unto him was Carshena, Shethar, Admatha, Tarshish, Meres, Marsena, and Memucan, the seven princes of Persia and Media,

which saw the king’s face

, and which sat the first in the kingdom;”

I just can’t imagine my husband coming to the platform to introduce me to his banquet of over 600 people, officers, lawyers, judges, and various other dignitaries and have one of his employees say to him, “Um sir, your wife isn’t coming, she is having her own party, she’s just too busy right now.”

*gasp* There’s just NO WAY I could do that to my husband. He’d be humiliated and what an awful testimony that would be for our ministry.

I’d like to challenge you to read further into the first two chapters of Esther and pray about what the Lord would have you to learn from this royal couple. We know that the King went on to find another queen to fulfill Vashti’s place, but focus on these first two chapters. The princes wanted a queen who could be an example for the other wives in the kingdoms surrounding Ahasuerus’ land.

Proverbs 12:4, “A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband: but she that maketh ashamed is as rottenness in his bones.”

What kind of wives are we to our husbands? Are we readily available to assist our husbands? Are we the ‘help’ that God intends for us to be for them? (See Genesis 2:20) Let’s take some time to examine ourselves closer in this area.

Lord, may our priorities be pleasing to you and our hearts be willing to offer assistance to our husbands. I pray we are available to do that which you would have us to do.

For further study read Ephesians 5:20-24