Little By Little

“Perhaps you will think to yourselves, ‘How can we ever conquer these nations that are so much more powerful than we are?’ But don’t be afraid of them! Just remember what the L ord your God did to Pharaoh and to all the land of Egypt. Remember the great terrors the Lord your God sent against them. You saw it all with your own eyes! And remember the miraculous signs and wonders, and the strong hand and powerful arm with which he brought you out of Egypt. The L ord your God will use this same power against all the people you fear. And then the L ord your God will send terror to drive out the few survivors still hiding from you. No, do not be afraid of those nations, for the L ord your God is among you, and he is a great and awesome God. The Lord your God will drive those nations out ahead of you little by little” (Deut. 7:17-21).

A few months ago I heard something that went deep in my gut. Straight into the deepest part of my heart as I realized the truth of the statement.

“Jesus saves us all at once but changes us little by little.”

The thing I need to be changed in my life (warning:transparency alert!!): anxiety. There is this anxiety that I face when everything overloads me all at once and I think, “Ok. I need to crawl in a hole because the noise, the mess, the dishes, the emails, the sibling conflict…yeah, it’s too much for me today.” But I can’t crawl in a hole, so I end up ignoring behavior issues in my children that need to be addressed and telling them to go get in the van and we’ll just drive through Chik-fil-a…again. Crap.

I pray, “God, You hold me in Your hand. I cast my anxieties on You. Help me in those moments! Show me if I’m crazy or is this just the season that I’m in! Is this normal? Why don’t I know any relaxed mothers, God?”

But…little by little.

Today my husband was late coming home. Dinner wasn’t made again (we did, in fact, eat Chick-fil-a last night) and my day was full of a car that didn’t start, a long shopping trip to Target with my grandmother, an afternoon playdate, and children who hadn’t had my attention and by 5:00 they all started falling apart. At the same time!

This is usually where I want to crawl in the hole. But, little by little…I put on a praise CD, told myself, “Yes, they’re all screaming right now. I’ll adress one thing at a time. Starting with dinner”. I took a few breaths, made some omelets, and stayed out of the hole (and the drive-thru!). It turned out to be a really nice evening.

Do you have moments like this? Maybe it’s not Chik-fil-a or screaming children, but areas where you feel overwhelmed or afraid. What anxieties do you need to bring before God as you trust Him to change you little by little?

Thank you, God, that You are changing us little by little, even when we can’t see it!