Cherishing the Moments

“My mom is getting ready to call with the news. I will be right over” my fiancée said on the phone. There was a hollowness in his voice. As I sat on the couch in our soon to be apartment, I knew our whole lives could change with this one phone call.

As the phone rang a few moments later, I held my breath. When a soft “oh no” was whispered, I knew our worst fears were confirmed, my soon to be father in law had terminal cancer. Suddenly sending out the wedding invitations and other planning for our wedding that was five weeks away did not seem important. In that moment, family seemed to be the most important.

 The weeks that would follow were bittersweet. As we made the final preparations for our wedding, we also made the trip from Texas to Michigan to visit my future father in law in the hospital. I was struck with the contradictory set of circumstances I was witnessing firsthand. One marriage was beginning: mine. Yet, another marriage was ending: my future in laws. Sometimes the emotion of feeling what could have been overwhelmed me.

The stark contrast of events made an impression on me. It changed the kind of wife I would become a few weeks later. As I watched the story unfold in front of me, I knew marriages sometimes end before either party is ready. We vowed divorce would never touch our marriage but death is different. It happens regardless of one another’s commitment to each other. And it always happens before a couple is ready.

The lesson I learned is to savor each moment you have with your spouse like it’s your last. I have made an intentional effort to tell my husband that I love him everyday. But I cannot stop there. Love is more than an emotion. It is also an action. Making my actions match my words is my goal everyday.

The passage we had a friend read at our wedding was 1 Corinthians 13. While this passage is frequently read at weddings, the words ring true no matter how young or old a marriage is. Paul uses the following words to describe love: patient, kind, protects, trusts, hopes, perseveres, and it never fails; conversely, love is not envious, boastful, proud, rude, self-seeking, easily angered, and it doesn’t keep track of wrongs (1 Cor. 13:4-8)

There have been times that I reread these verses in the past six years since our wedding and am pained at how short I have fallen. At the same time, I remember that today may be the only day I have to show these qualities to my husband. So I lay my pride aside and try to love him in a way that lines up with that passage from our wedding.

None of us knows how long God will give a marriage. We might only have one day left with our spouse or 50 years. It’s entirely up to God. My goal in my marriage is live each day in a way that if the unthinkable happened, I would not live in regret. I want to live in a way that I show my husband how much I love him everyday.

In the end, I’m sure that is a lesson my father in law would have wanted me to learn. Hopefully I would make him proud.

-Robyn Adams

“Robyn is a pastor’s wife and mom to two young boys. Her passion is writing about the difference Christ has made in her life. She thinks the world would be a better place if everyone loved Jesus and they ate cheesecake everyday! You can catch up with her at http://www.mommawriter.blogspot.com“