Permission

“Be cheerful no matter what; pray all the time; thank God no matter what happens. This is the way God wants you who belong to Christ Jesus to live” (1 Thess 5:16-18, Message Translation).

I really want permission to be in a bad mood. Just somehow to get the green light from God to complain and be angry. I doubt it is going to happen, but, to be honest, I really wish it was okay for me to be unhappy for the next 12 to 18 hours.

I have red paint on my knees, my hands, my hair. “How many places did your two-year-old smear the RED paint while she was supposed to be asleep?” you say. “While you tried to read to your six year old on the bed and spend the quality time with him that has eluded you all week?” I am so glad you asked!

1. All over the carpet
2. On the wall
3. On the door, doorknob, and doorframe
4. All over her crib, of course
5. On my husband’s office chair
6. On my husband’s paperwork
7. On several shirts
8. On a bookshelf
9. On a special stuffed animal
10. On my four-year-old daughter’s dance portrait
11. All over her body and clothes…of course

Oh well. I had a vision of a wonderful start to this weekend. We have out of town company coming tomorrow night, and I have to deal with a difficult extended family situation in the morning. I was hoping to be a peaceful beacon of God’s love to my family this weekend. Except I think now everyone is pretty much trying to stay out of my way. I don’t blame them - I don’t really want to be around me right now, either.

How do I find God in this moment? At times like this, it is easier to shut out His voice and give into my negative emotions…oooo, they feel so good, don’t they?

But I will not give in to anger tonight. Not with paint drying on the carpet or my children wondering how many more times I will have to ask for their forgiveness for being unkind. I need to ask the Lord to come in and redeem my emotions RIGHT NOW. To calm me in the swirling storm of my bad mood and give me His perspective.

What is His perspective?  It’s the perspective that reminds me that I am loved and accepted by the Lord no matter how badly I’ve messed up this night. The perspective that guides my eyes to look, really look, at my healthy and precious children…my little gifts. The perspective that slows me down and makes me so thankful for a house in which to raise my children and a husband to lead our family as my kids grow into passionate adults for Jesus.

This is a difficult night. But tomorrow I can wake up and kiss my paint-stained two year old and pack the kids for a fun day at a T-Ball game and sing crazy songs on the way to the ballfield and laugh and breathe and thank Him for another day.

And hopefully, that day will not involve the unpredictable mixture of red paint and a toddler.

Lord, thank you for speaking to me in the middle of my cleaning project. God, please give me your perspective in every situation and teach me to be more like your Son, Jesus. I want to love others the way He did, Lord. I want to have a grateful heart everyday for the bounty that you pour out into our lives. Amen.