Keep the Change

The Lord says, “‘I will guide you along the best pathway for your life.
I will advise you and watch over you.” (Psalm 32:8)

When I became pregnant with my third child, I was put on bedrest for the last six months of the pregnancy. Six months. Total bedrest. I watched a lot of HGTV and read my Bible constantly. I would try to parent my other two children from the bed, but they were so young that it was almost impossible. I cried a lot because of the physical pain that I was in, and I battled the hopelessness of not being able to take care of my family. Bedrest wasn’t a vacation from my work – it felt like a prison.

My husband hired a homeschooled teenager to come in and work for us three days a week while I was on bedrest. She was truly a gift from God. She would take care of my children, do the laundry, and bring me ginger ale. I do not know what I would have done without Beth. God gave her to me at a time when I was in desperate, desperate need.

Here’s my confession: she still works for us. Even though my children are older and I probably don’t need her as much and even though it is putting a huge strain on our budget, I can’t let go of her. I remember my months of incapacitation, and I think there is a part of me that is afraid to let her go. What if I can’t take care of my family again? I know this is irrational. I am healthy, strong, and very much not pregnant. But I linger in the fear, holding on, when God is telling me it is time for a new season.

New seasons are hard for all of us, I think. Most women I know deal with impending change not with shouts of joy and excitement but rather with a solemness as they try to determine how the new season will affect everyone they love. We are the caretakers of our families, the ones responsible for so many needs. How do we learn to trust the Lord with change that He is directing – even when it feels scary?

I think for me learning to trust the Lord’s direction has to start with constantly seeking His face. Making sure I am daily slowing down and spending time with Him in His Word, listening to His voice. I don’t want to stray from the path He is laying out for me, and I won’t know the path if I am consumed with busyness, unable to slow down and listen to my Father.

Also, I need to accept that I may make a decision in faith, believing that I have heard clearly from the Lord…and I may be wrong. It may be the wrong time to confront my friend, slash the budget, take a part-time job, say yes, say no. But I have to trust that if I make the wrong choice, the Lord will be faithful to show me that. The thing I don’t want is to be so afraid of doing the wrong thing that I become paralyzed by inactivity, burying my talent instead of moving forward with confidence.

The Lord is calling us to live boldly for Him. If we slow down and listen to God’s voice and then move forward with what we believe He is telling us, we will grow closer to God and become more like Jesus. He will be faithful to lead us and guide us continually as we live to put Him first.

Lord, thank you for filling us with confidence to live boldly for you. Help us to hear clearly what you are saying to us this day, and give us the faith and boldness to walk in total obedience. You are so wonderful, and we adore you. In Jesus name, amen!

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