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Not Quite Enough
Posted By Guest Contributor
“There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus (Romans 8:1)”.
One of the biggest struggles that I face as a Christian is my ongoing battle with guilt. It’s the guilt that tells me the same thing over and over. The guilt that whispers, “Not quite enough…not quite enough..not quite enough…”
I’m not doing quite enough as a mom. It’s not enough to stay at home full time, why am I not planning more trips to the library or baking cute cupcakes with my kids or playing more board games or painting more little toes pink or…?
I’m not doing quite enough as a wife. It’s not enough to daily pray for my husband, plan a marriage conference, and start date nights (Cheesecake Factory last Thursday-yum!). Why am I not up early making him lunch to take to work or respecting him in every situation or listening better about his job or…?
I’m not doing quite enough at church, with my friends, my lawn, or my closets. I should spend more time with my grandmother, reach more people for Jesus, and cook healthier meals.
I’m not doing enough. I, somehow, am not enough.
At times I feel hopeless about all the ways that I feel I am not measuring up. This results in me becoming less motivated to do the things I’m already doing. Other times I decide that I CAN do more, I MUST do more, and if I pray HARDER then God will show me (this time) how I can hyper-plan and control my life. This usually involves a giant calendar and a lot of index cards.
So here is my nugget (I wanted to have five to eight amazing points about how I am moving totally away from any guilt and here is how, but this is all I have): If I turn my heart to listen to the voice of my Lord, He says, “Slow down, Jess. You are letting the little things dominate you. You have expectations for yourself that I don’t have for you. Come and talk to me, Jess.”
Then the Lord talks to me about trust. Trust means I offer God each day and rely on Him to show me His plan for me for that day. His plan for me is not crowded. His plate for me is not too full. Maybe I won’t ever do all the things I think I “should” do, but I don’t need to spend time on things He’s not asking me to do.
His yoke is still easy.
Here is my prayer for us: “Father, I put on Your yoke this day. Show me Your plans for me. I submit again to Your Lordship of my life and acknowledge that You are in control. I love you. Amen.”
Visit Jess: Mourning Into Dancing
Sep 3rd, 2007
((hugs)) I think we can all say that we feel that way sometimes. Just remember what Jesus said to Martha when she was ‘busy’. He said she was busy about many things, but Mary chose the better thing. Which was to worship Him. If we allow the enemy to condemn us for what we didn’t accomplish each day, then we live under the enemy’s condemnation, rather than under God’s grace. God knows we have much to as moms and/or wives, but He’d still choose quiet time with us over folding socks or sorting through piles of paperwork. ((hugs)) I like what Lisa Whelchel says in her new book, that she prays over her ‘to-do’ list and whatever God tells her to cross out, she obeys. I trust that He’ll guide us to do those things that He wants us to do each day.
You’re so right, He does just want us to slow down and come to Him.
Jess, I enjoyed reading your devotional. I never really thought about what drives me to do more … never able to rest… and through your devotional the truth is revealed as to what the problem is. Thanks for sharing your heart with us.
This was so great. I feel the same way sometimes. Ok, let’s face it…a lot of the time. I look at how much I am doing and then see something else I think I can add on to the giant balancing act. Thanks for the reminder of that not being so important to God. I needed to hear that.
Forgiving our selves for what we think are our downfalls can lead us out of feelings for guilt and shame. We cannot condemn ourselves if our Lord has already forgiven us. In fact, I once wrote that God really has no clue what we are talking about when we go on about our guilt because he has cast it “into the sea”, or blown it “as far as the east is from the west”. Be kind to yourself as the Lord is kind to you in his forgiveness.