Humdudgeons

I was reading a devotional from Elisabeth Elliot the other day and came across this: “The word humdudgeon is a new one to me and I like the sound of it. It means ‘a loud complaint about a trifle.’ Heard any of those lately around your house?” Um…guilty. Not only guilty of hearing humdudgeons, but guilty of uttering them. If I look back over the last couple weeks, I’ve spouted humdudgeons regarding: a ruined load of laundry, a bad driver, excess noise when I wanted quiet, yet another instance of cat puke in our bedroom…and I could go on. It seems I’ve been doing a bit too much loud complaining about “trifles.” When I look at what Scripture has to say about these humdudgeons, it’s pretty clear.

Do everything without complaining or arguing.
– Philippians 2:14

Hm… everything? Drive around behind really bad drivers without complaining? Care for a house that is never clean for more than two seconds before it gets messed up again, without complaining? Patiently put up with children making “joyful noises” when I would rather have the house stay quiet, without complaining? Yes, it looks that way. Do everything without complaining…

So how can I do that? I’m the last person who would say that I’ve got a handle on this — after all, I just confessed to you that my words have been sprinkled with humdudgeons lately. But I can identify a few things that — when I consistently put them into practice — seem to keep my attitude where it should be and keep the humdudgeons away.

• Staying consistently in God’s word. When I am faithfully reading the Bible on a regular basis, I find that those “trifles” that get me so riled up tend to fade into the background. My perspective is focused more sharply on the things that really matter, while the little things look like what they really are — little things.
• Listening to praise music. It’s hard to praise God and complain at the same time, and I’ve found that having praise music on keeps my heart tuned toward God.
• Counting my blessings. This may sound like a platitude, but I think it really works. In fact, if I’m not purposefully counting my blessings, it becomes all to easy to count my troubles. Whether it’s keeping a gratitude journal, writing someone an email about what’s going right in life, or just mentally reviewing all the ways God has blessed me, counting my blessings guards my mind from complaints.
• Evaluating (and possibly restructuring) friendships. For some time, I was close friends with another “complainer,” and it seemed that she and I would just fuel each other’s fire. Every phone conversation became a vent or a rant or a long list of miseries. Eventually, we realized that we weren’t benefiting each other and we started limiting our interactions. We’re still friends, but we’re more careful now where we allow our conversations to go.

These are just a few techniques that work for me. And perhaps the most important “technique” of all is praying for a changed heart. The Holy Spirit is the one that can give me joy and peace and that can tame my complaining heart.

For discussion: How do you keep humdudgeons at bay? What do you do when you are tempted to complain?