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Clothe me in white, so I won’t be ashamed…
Posted By Janice
Shame. It is a disabling, alienating force. And I imagine it is Satan’s favorite tool to keep us away from God as he whispers to us, “You can’t go to God – look at yourself. You are filthy and hopeless.”
Even though I know that God wants me to come to him with a repentant heart after I have fallen, feelings of shame can still hold me back. Even though I know that I am forgiven, Satan can still trick me into remaining in the bondage of my sins. I feel so unworthy that I can’t bear to face my Lord. And if I am not careful, I allow these feelings to keep me from God’s healing and forgiveness.
It takes a conscious effort for me to fight against the lies and approach the throne in my brokenness.
This week when I read Katrina’s post here at Faith Lifts about hungering for righteousness, her words convicted me:
“Notice that Jesus doesn’t say, “Blessed are those who try to be righteous” or “Blessed are those who think that pursuing righteousness is a good idea.” Both of those statements would describe me most of the time. Of course I think pursuing righteousness is a good idea. Who doesn’t? But Jesus calls us deeper. Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness. I don’t know about you, but on a day-to-day basis, I often fall short in this area. I allow myself to settle for the “righteousness is a really good idea,” approach when I should be looking for more.”
I know that I used to hunger and now I have slipped into “I should try” mentality. And the difference is sapping me of my spiritual strength, and ultimately enslaving me with shame. Life is busy and I am weary. I have allowed all of life’s demands to distract me from my ultimate purpose to live for God and hunger for righteousness.
Thankfully, the Lord doesn’t leave me there, hopelessly off track. No, He continues to call me back and wash me clean.
As I was praying tonight, the lyrics, “Wretched and blind I come, clothe me in white, so I won’t be ashamed. Lord, light the fire again.” kept replaying in my head.
I am wretched. I continue to fail and compromise my faith. Every day I fall so short of who I want to be for God and for my family. And if Satan had his way with me, I would remain there – hopeless and alienated from my God. But mercifully the Lord calls me back. He washes me and clothes me in white.
Light The Fire Again
by Brian DoerksenDon’t let my love grow cold
I’m calling out
Light the fire again
Don’t let my vision die
I’m calling out
Light the fire againYou know my heart, my deeds
I’m calling out
Light the fire again
I need Your discipline
I’m calling out
Light the fire againI am here to buy gold
Refined in the fire
Naked and poor
Wretched and blind I come
Clothe me in white
So I won’t be ashamed
Lord, light the fire again
Do you ever feel too ashamed to approach God? Does Satan’s accusing voice ever keep you distant from God?
Jun 30th, 2007
Thank you for being so honest and open here. Yes, I feel this way many times, even though I know he will always forgive and accept me. And it never fails, after I finally get on my knees and come to Him, everything makes sense and works out in the end. Of course- that is His plan!
Steph
I often feel unworthy to “pray” to God, I think - He is busy, he does not have time to hear or “solve” my problem. Or other of the other comments I tell myself in order to “not” be “with” God - thinking I am unworthy of His love, His respect or even of Him being proud of me.
I grew up in a family where ONLY the “bad” stuff was ever pointed out, nothing was good enough, and even when I bent over backwards to “do good things” - they were not rewarded with even a simple thank you, much less an “I am proud of you.” So I guess I look for that, came to accept that what I do is not worthy of that, so I expect it from God.
I am having a hard time getting around this and these thoughts - I miss getting to church weekly, it’s just something I cant do now with Zachary - but thank you for your post, it’s nice to hear and see that I am not alone!
When I read Heather’s Blog I am so humbled by her faith - I wish I were there!
This is such a beautiful post - it’s honest and humbling. I feel unworthy much of the time - satan has had lots of practice with me. But, I KNOW my God loves me and I KNOW He will forgive me. If we could all just keep that in the forefront of our hearts and minds, we could come into a place where shame is no longer such a stronghold.
GRACE GRACE GRACE and more GRACE.
Oh my gosh yes! I really needed to read this post. I’ve had so many health problems lately that I haven’t been able to get to church as much. I have the most overwhelming guilt about this and feel so unworthy of God’s love and grace.
I never looked at it as Satan trying to make me feel that way. That really puts things into a clearer light.
Have you ever listened to Jennifer Knapp? She is my absolute favorite Christian artist and her lyrics seem to echo your sentiments about worthiness.
Thanks for this beautiful post1
Amen, Lord light the fire again!
Janice, You said what I feel so often. It feels so lame asking God to forgive me when I seem to sin in the same areas again and again. And if I allow the devil to keep harping on my unworthiness..instead of Christ’s forgiveness … it happens again. I think that’s what I like about the reading the Old Testament - because it shows just how often God forgave the Israelites - again and again. It reminds me that God hasn’t changed and that I’m forgiven … again! Thanks, God for loving me so much!! I can’t wait to get to heaven when we stop sinning - and hurting Him!