The Way We Should Go

Proverbs 22:6 NIV

Train a child in the way he should go,
and when he is old he will not turn from it.

I used to think that this proverb was one of those no-fail Bible promises. If we raise our children in church, he or she will never leave the fellowship of Believers, or if they do, they are certain to return to the fold at some point in their lives. We try to find comfort or offer it to others with this verse as we navigate the uncertain waters of parenting.

But experience tells us otherwise. Some children do rebel. Most children will at some time make choices outside the moral boundaries that we’ve tried to teach them. We’ve all known children who have been raised by godly parents to their best of their abilities, but who have strayed: either temporarily or completely abandoning the faith with which they were raised, so there must be another meaning to this scripture.

Over the last month, I’ve heard or read teachings on this verse several times. The Amplified Bible lines up with the teaching that I heard from several sources, that indeed did amplify my understanding:

Train up a child in the way he should go [and in keeping with his individual gift or bent], and when he is old he will not depart from it.

Many of us might be growing tomatoes right now. Tying the plant to a stake helps it to grow tall and to support those lovely tomatoes. Without the stake, the plant might not bear as much fruit as it could. If I tried to stake it in an unnatural way–perhaps to grow horizontally–that stake would not help the plant to grow within its natural bent or in its most effective way.

So it is with children. God has already created them with individual gifts and a natural bent. They may be brainy, athletic, artsy, compassionate, humorous, serious, or thoughtful. Oftentimes we try to train them up in the way we think that they should go. Oftentimes they try to go along with the crowd in the way that they think that they should go.

This is a promise from God. It is a guarantee, but perhaps not in the way that we think. I like to think of it as “satisfaction guaranteed.” If we tap into God’s foreknowledge of who they really are meant to be and encourage them to take full advantage of that promise, they will grow. They will grow strong and tall and remain true. We will be satisfied with them and they will be satisfied with themselves if we learn to see them through the eyes of He who knows them best.

Just as a tomato plant needs water and food to thrive as we stake it to the pole meant to help it grow, our children need to be watered with prayer, and fed truth from the Word. Staked with unconditional love, they will grow stronger and taller season after season, as they bear more and more fruit.